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Well...in my mind a quality man is prepared for all situations. Blame it on my military family upbringing. LOL
MAN:
car breaks down - knows garage with loaner or rents one
cost of car breaking down - no problems as insurance may cover it or savings would
doesnt want to go out - is strait forward about it
MANBOY:
car breaks down - panics
cost of car breaking down - gobbles up next months rent as he is without savings
doesnt want to go out - tells stories
______________________
So the way I see it...whatever happened... you just avoided a manboy. Cheers to that!
I agree about the texting, it's hard to get your points across. In several posts, I made it very clear that he didn't call me to cancel, and that all he had to do was to cancel respectfully and maturely. All he did was txt "no car" and that was it. I think I said it over and over again that all he needed to do was cancel-doesn't that mean that I wish he had called me to cancel instead of blow it off??
And if he was honesly having car trouble, why the sudden disappearance? we could have talked and joked about it on the phone and worked out another date, the fact that he has just vanished tells me he wasn't honest about the car. There'd be no reason for him to just never contact me again, and I didn't respond to the "no car" text because to me, that was a classless move and didn't deserve a response. I was mad he didn't just cancel first thing in the morning when he had the car trouble to begin with if he knew he didn't want to go out, for whatever reason. That's my point. I don't see any fault in what I did, I wanted to go out with him, I said what a bummer about your car, then I asked what time does he want to touch base, so since he didn't give me much info or interest, I didn't have any either. It was too much of a coincidence this happened on the day of the date.
My whole point about this post was to express frustration about some guys making elaborate excuses and blowing me off instead of just saying they can't make the date, or they want to reschedule, etc. It was annoying to me that he had all day to tell me he didn't want to go out. My post is not about the cost of car repairs, or picking him up, dating rules, or anything like that. And remember, all he had to do was cancel in a normal way, not just let the evening slip by with no update, call, chance to reschedule, etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
If you had said - I wish he had called me to cancel - I think you would have gotten different responses. But you said you KNEW he was lying from his first text- and you called him a loser and a jerk. Like I said, call me naive - but I have a feeling if a guy was lying to get out of a date - he would have just texted you - car broke down, date's off.
I understand not wanting to pick up a complete stranger - but you made it sound like you would not pick up a guy because it is the man's job to pick up the woman, not the other way around. Meeting each other at the restaurant is definitly the safest option for a first date - but that's not what you made it sound like in the beginning.
Yes, he should have called.
I think the lesson we can all learn from this is that sometimes it is better to talk to someone on the phone than it is to text. Texting can lead to confusion and misunderstandings.
I went through the same thing for YEARS. When you are taking the "see if it sticks," approach to dating you are going to end up with a lot of flakes.
It is kind of like getting the late-night munchies and having nothing in the cupboard. Pretty soon I am watching a 3rd rate movie and eating stale Cheetos, trying to pretend it is hitting the spot.
The only thing I can tell you is when I finally stopped caring about meeting the right man and realized that I liked my life just fine the way it was....I met my husband. You know what? It was EASY (not perfect, mind you, I am not delusional). No game playing, no waiting for the phone to ring, no trying to guess where the relationship was going and, most importantly, no trying to be someone other than just who I am.
It will happen for you, just go out and enjoy your life until it does.
Sound mind produces sound advice. Good one!
Quote:
Originally Posted by sportsfangal
thanks for the kind words, I do seem to meet men, but nothing ever develops. I just thought I'd give online a try as a different way to meet men, but I have no luck with it! You're right, they are worse than guys out in the real world. I think I am done with online. And I think all the sites are pretty much the same, eharmony, match, cupid, they are full of all the same losers!!
Bingo!!! Although I'd change the word "losers" to "desperate." Have you noticed the irony of the bolded and italics ^^^? Give yourself a break and don't become what you despise. Be patient and you'll reap what you sow.
great post, I agree, I will take a "break"! But my main issue is that these guys approach me, so why express interest in me only to blow me off later? or make excuses not to go out???
Quote:
Originally Posted by ans57
Sound mind produces sound advice. Good one!
Bingo!!! Although I'd change the word "losers" to "desperate." Have you noticed the irony of the bolded and italics ^^^? Give yourself a break and don't become what you despise. Be patient and you'll reap what you sow.
great post, I agree, I will take a "break"! But my main issue is that these guys approach me, so why express interest in me only to blow me off later? or make excuses not to go out???
First off, I want to say, you are very pretty and I don't think you will be single long. Just do what you enjoy doing and you will meet someone.
As for your 'date', here is another possibility, perhaps not likely but a possibility. Maybe he doesn't drive and is embarrassed as to the reason why. Transmission problems are so rare now. Not finding a car to rent even rarer. He may have been fishing for you to offer to drive
great post, I agree, I will take a "break"! But my main issue is that these guys approach me, so why express interest in me only to blow me off later? or make excuses not to go out???
This is the baggage I'm talking about.. reread your very first post... there could never be a legitimate reason for a guy to cancel a date with you.. you wouldnt believe him . You repeat it over and over through out this thread. A break would be good, start fresh without expectations and give guys the benefit of the doubt. Stuff happens to the best of us, your baggage ( as I call it) didnt allow you to keep corresponding nor make you approachable for him. He could have done things different but so could you and he's not in here posting. I get your frustration and points about him communicating better but really all you can control is your response.
You are not destined to be alone forever lol..and I know you do not think so either and this was mostly likely attributed to the events from yesterday..
Men do this and so do women..and there is really no answer as to why..one thing you have to take into consideration is that some men that are online dating talk to different women as do women..it does not mean you are not all you say you are it means that some people click well with someone and even better with someone else..
While this can be frustrating do not give up..but rather take a break..things happen most when you are not looking for them..this does not mean anything will develop it just means you are taking a chance..
You seem to be on the right track as far as reading slackers and no shows so this is good. You seem to know what you want and do not want that sais alot..some people never get there..
So hind sight 20/20..you know..do not close the door just chalk it up to one of those things, live your life and if he texts back? It is what it is..If he asks you out again? Call him on his ****..a call would have been nice stating that you were not going to make it..
Honestly? There is nothing wrong to talking to several people at once, you are a free agent and until a man steps up and claims the prize ( you) you are doing nothing wrong...
Do not give up..I always say..you learn from experience and ya live and you learn..
My "baggage" only consists of wishing the guy would simply cancel in a normal way. I don't think you are reading my posts carefully at all. Even if I believe him or not, whether he really had car trouble or not, it does not explain or excuse the fact that he never called to cancel. Just texting me "no car", does not tell me that the date was canceled or that he wants to try again for another date later.
Why can't you comprehend that? (not to be a "b" or anything, but you are not getting my posts at all)
p.s.- If a guy has a legitimate reason to cancel, fine, I'd rather hear "I'm sorry I can't make our date, I'm having some family/car/neighbor issues, can I call you tomorrow and maybe we can reschedule?" Does that give you a clearer picture of what I'm talking about? It doesn't matter whether I believe it or not, if he really was interested in the first place, he would want to reschedule, if he wasn't interested, and just wanted to get out of a date and never see me again, then he doesn't call back after the reason for cancelling-he just vanishes! no call ever again. What message does that send me?? that he wasn't interested to begin with!!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasmine728
This is the baggage I'm talking about.. reread your very first post... there could never be a legitimate reason for a guy to cancel a date with you.. you wouldnt believe him . You repeat it over and over through out this thread. A break would be good, start fresh without expectations and give guys the benefit of the doubt. Stuff happens to the best of us, your baggage ( as I call it) didnt allow you to keep corresponding nor make you approachable for him. He could have done things different but so could you and he's not in here posting. I get your frustration and points about him communicating better but really all you can control is your response.
thanks! great post. today, I'm going to get a mani/pedi and just let my head clear. then maybe read by the pool and enjoy the sunshine, I do know what I want and don't want and expect to be treated a certain way, so I will just keep myself open, and hope this "lockout" ends soon!! ha ha! thanks again!
Quote:
Originally Posted by dr74
Directed towards the OP...
You are not destined to be alone forever lol..and I know you do not think so either and this was mostly likely attributed to the events from yesterday..
Men do this and so do women..and there is really no answer as to why..one thing you have to take into consideration is that some men that are online dating talk to different women as do women..it does not mean you are not all you say you are it means that some people click well with someone and even better with someone else..
While this can be frustrating do not give up..but rather take a break..things happen most when you are not looking for them..this does not mean anything will develop it just means you are taking a chance..
You seem to be on the right track as far as reading slackers and no shows so this is good. You seem to know what you want and do not want that sais alot..some people never get there..
So hind sight 20/20..you know..do not close the door just chalk it up to one of those things, live your life and if he texts back? It is what it is..If he asks you out again? Call him on his ****..a call would have been nice stating that you were not going to make it..
Honestly? There is nothing wrong to talking to several people at once, you are a free agent and until a man steps up and claims the prize ( you) you are doing nothing wrong...
Do not give up..I always say..you learn from experience and ya live and you learn..
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Give yourself a break and don't become what you despise. Be patient and you'll reap what you sow.
Someone's point made!
