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YOU! understand what its all about to be a rejected, lonely man and why we wind up with women so beneath us.
I think your first effort should be stop feeling sorry for yourself and really learn how to handle rejection. From reading your posts in this thread and others, you send the strong suggestion that you struggle with being rejected. I've personally been rejected numerous times and, even though it might not be as many as yours, I've learned to accept that not everyone is going to like me, and I'm not entitled to anyone liking despite what I might think of myself.
That's one of the biggest issues I have with online dating. The entitlement problem. I read men's profiles and most of them feel entitled to being contacted because they are "nice guys" or because they are well traveled, make a certain salary, drive a certain car, etc. Many of the women feel like, simply because they are women, they shouldn't have any responsibility towards coordinating dates, paying for dates, or simply pursuing the men to any significant extent.
Everyone takes themselves way too serious. At one point, I was considering turning my POF profile into a mockery of all the redundant "ideal mate/date" crap I read. I'm not well traveled, I dont read books a lot, I'm not religious, I'm not interested in having a conversation about the debt ceiling to prove that I "care about important issues." I had a good idea about a profile page to parody all of that including, of course, pictures to illustrate it. I might still do it. I'm always turned off by profiles that read like the person is taking themselves way too seriously.
Other than that, online dating is not the end-all of my social world anyway, so I don't get very offended by anything that happens or doesn't happen.
Do you guys change your profile around? I'm sure the first profile I ever put up was pretty bad but I've refined it. Make sure there isn't a whiff of desperation or negativity in your profile.
I don't keep track but I'd say at least a third of the women I've messaged have responded back in some way. I'm average in the looks department, not tall, and definitely not rich. But, I did make sure my profile showcases parts of my personality that I know are attractive (being adventurous, intelligent, and NOT taking the whole online thing totally seriously).
I really only message attractive women that I think will be interesting and have a sense of humor. So I'm silly in my message, might tease her about something. And then ask about something she's interested in.
if some of you guys are having a hard time getting dates off an online dating site because of your picture...what kind of girls are you going after?? Are you going after the 'hot' chicks who probably get tons of messages? *maybe they think they're out of your league?*
I was on OKCupid for a while and sure, I got plenty of emails every day, but the majority of them were ridiculous and not worth responding to. I got a lot of single word messages i.e. Hello, Hi, Whatup etc., and a lot of ridiculous ones such as 'wut sze are ur boobs' and whatnot. I think out of every 10 messages I received maybe one was worth responding to.
So sure, women may get more attention, but is it really worthwhile attention? For the most part, no. I sent out at least 2 or 3 messages a day and rarely got a response. I did have a lot of 'men' ask me if I'd be interested in a 'no strings attached' relationship though . And plenty more that wrote me a 3 page essay on why we're perfect for each other, spelling and grammar not included.
Was I picky? Sure, but that's only because wading through all the crap got frustrating and I became a little jaded. I have met some pretty great guys off of online dating sites, but for the most part it's been disappointing.
Oh, and if you smoke a ton of weed and I SPECIFICALLY mention I'm absolutely not okay with that around me (it makes me nauseous) please don't tell me you never smoke and then come to our date reeking of weed.
Hey JJ, What percentage of the men would fit this undesirable list 75%? 90%?
Do you guys change your profile around? I'm sure the first profile I ever put up was pretty bad but I've refined it. Make sure there isn't a whiff of desperation or negativity in your profile.
I don't keep track but I'd say at least a third of the women I've messaged have responded back in some way. I'm average in the looks department, not tall, and definitely not rich. But, I did make sure my profile showcases parts of my personality that I know are attractive (being adventurous, intelligent, and NOT taking the whole online thing totally seriously).
I really only message attractive women that I think will be interesting and have a sense of humor. So I'm silly in my message, might tease her about something. And then ask about something she's interested in.
Hey JJ, What percentage of the men would fit this undesirable list 75%? 90%?
Probably a good solid 90%. I think a lot of it is my age bracket though. I tried online dating because I felt I could lessen the surprises that come with meeting and dating people you meet fairly randomly. I got kind of tired of dating men and then finding out they have 4 kids by 4 different women, or dealt drugs for extra cash or only worked a part time job and lived out of a friends closet (his excuse was 'it's a big walk in closet!) so he could have more time to play video games.
These were all guys in their early 30s... I don't think my standards are too terribly high, but it would be nice to be with a guy who has a job or career in mind and plans for the future either with or without me. Just the motivation factor is appealing.
Uh yeh, I think so. If you can't enjoy being alone and yourself, how can you expect someone else to enjoy you?
I just can't figure out how to enjoy being alone :/
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. And plenty more that wrote me a 3 page essay on why we're perfect for each other, spelling and grammar not included.
