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For example if you are single and see a good-looking guy in the supermarket. He is confident, dresses well and has a nice body. He approaches you and starts a conversation in which he is friendly, confident and intelligent.
He is obviously an attractive man and you just met him. Does this guy automatically get thrown into the "friends" zone because you just met him?
Yes because I don't know him. I don't step into a relationship without knowing the person first. That's my motto.
Some men really believe that "friend zone" means "Get lost" when it does not apply to all women. If they want to think that way and act like that, fine by me. That's not in my case. Friend zone means friend zone, I want to get to know you.
Yes because I don't know him. I don't step into a relationship without knowing the person first. That's my motto.
Some men really believe that "friend zone" means "Get lost" when it does not apply to all women. If they want to think that way and act like that, fine by me. That's not in my case. Friend zone means friend zone, I want to get to know you.
I agree friend zone ≠ "get lost" for all females.
So if this same guy asked if he could take you out to lunch on a date, you would say no because you don't know him and only want to be friends?
Why do you feel you can only "get to know" a guy while he's in the friend zone? Can't you "get to know" a guy while dating him?
For example if you are single and see a good-looking guy in the supermarket. He is confident, dresses well and has a nice body. He approaches you and starts a conversation in which he is friendly, confident and intelligent.
He is obviously an attractive man and you just met him. Does this guy automatically get thrown into the "friends" zone because you just met him?
^what do you mean? I saw him first! Just kiddddding.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BKSnook
I agree friend zone ≠ "get lost" for all females.
So if this same guy asked if he could take you out to lunch on a date, you would say no because you don't know him and only want to be friends?
Why do you feel you can only "get to know" a guy while he's in the friend zone? Can't you "get to know" a guy while dating him?
Well I did that once ("get to know" the guy while "dating" him) and it did not turn out well. I know it's just this one experience but it has taught me a lot about myself. I think I'm just scare to make that same mistake again but that's a tricky question, lol.
I really don't know, lol. I feel pressure to answer it. Maybe?
^what do you mean? I saw him first! Just kiddddding.
Well I did that once ("get to know" the guy while "dating" him) and it did not turn out well. II know it's just this one experience but it has taught me a lot about myself. I think I'm just scare to make that same mistake again but that's a tricky question, lol.
I really don't know, lol. I feel pressure to answer it. Maybe?
Sorry I don't mean to pressure you, I'm just curious in the reasoning behind your perspective. It makes some sense as a defense mechanism perhaps? So the guy has to pass more checkpoints before reaching the "path to your heart" a.k.a. dating or in a relationship. Perfectly reasonable
Some might argue tho that your platonic relationship changes once it hits a romantic relationship and that while you might be good friends, you are incompatible in a relationship...
Sorry I don't mean to pressure you, I'm just curious in the reasoning behind your perspective. It makes some sense as a defense mechanism perhaps? So the guy has to pass more checkpoints before reaching the "path to your heart" a.k.a. dating or in a relationship. Perfectly reasonable
Some might argue tho that your platonic relationship changes once it hits a romantic relationship and that while you might be good friends, you are incompatible in a relationship...
You're right about relationship changing. I don't know about the future relationship, only past experience. I wouldn't call them "checkpoints". These "friend zone" helps me to know the real you. I would like you to be real with me, that's all. Your dislikes, likes, opinions, personality, character, or just about everything. The guy I was in a "relationship" with was a different person halfway through, so I don't want to deal with that again.
You're right about relationship changing. I don't know about the future relationship, only past experience. I wouldn't call them "checkpoints". These "friend zone" helps me to know the real you. I would like you to be real with me, that's all. Your dislikes, likes, opinions, personality, character, or just about everything. The guy I was in a "relationship" with was a different person halfway through, so I don't want to deal with that again.
Some people do put on "fronts", completely trying to be someone they're not, pretending they like this just to impress the other person, doing things for them they don't plan on doing 2 years down the line.
In the beginning, you never want to "step on the other person's toes" but as you spend more time together you become more yourself and realize some of your actions or opinions do clash with the other person's. It's frustrating, but it's also the foundation of balance in a relationship.
In response to your questions: you'll probably find that D.C, is a very transient area, with few ppl making lasting or permanent friendships. It's more like a "let's go dancing / to bar / to dinner" type of friend, which, once they relocate elsewhere, disappears from your life entirely. My only good, true male friend IRL lives 2-3 states away from me.
Ahh I gotcha. It's really transient here to with people coming and going every 6months or 1 year. Koreans drop in and out too. So I don't mind that really, I'd say it's actually a good thing when you first move somewhere.
My hometown Charleston, SC, on the other hand, is much better if you grew up there and have a group of friends.
Some people do put on "fronts", completely trying to be someone they're not, pretending they like this just to impress the other person, doing things for them they don't plan on doing 2 years down the line.
In the beginning, you never want to "step on the other person's toes" but as you spend more time together you become more yourself and realize some of your actions or opinions do clash with the other person's. It's frustrating, but it's also the foundation of balance in a relationship.
I was just going to say 2 years is a pretty long time, but I was planning to wait that long to see if they can actually keep it up, haha.
But to be honest, I have dodge some bullets with my motto after my relationship with this guy. I know sometimes I can't keep these feelings under control, so I will give them the benefit of doubt that they are who they are as well. I'm not all so militant friend-zone, lol.
Then you have an exagerated view of your appeal to women.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaolin070388
If I'm not getting friend zoned, then I'm not exaggerating my appeal.
My response was to Texas User. Women usually break up in a bad way with good looking guys so they aren't "friends" any more.
The friendzone is for guys who have it together but don't have the looks. Women never know when they might have to use these guys so they are reluctant to give them the full brush off. Better to string them along.
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Just kiddddding. 
Maybe? 
