Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 07-06-2011, 10:03 AM
 
27,957 posts, read 39,578,439 times
Reputation: 26197

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by BLAZER PROPHET View Post
Uh-huh.

You just proved my point.
I don't think I did. Some explain how I "proved" your point.

 
Old 07-06-2011, 10:05 AM
 
8,679 posts, read 15,220,173 times
Reputation: 15341
Quote:
Originally Posted by BLAZER PROPHET View Post
Over the decades I have noticed that about 98% of all divorces are 50/50 at fault between both people. As such, I have also noticed that it's not about "differences" or whatever, it's about 2 people who quit on each other. When I see people divorced I pretty much know they're quitters as a personality type.

So why should it be a surprise when someone has issues about dating a divorced person? There's a reason why that person is divorced. Accept it and either be with that person or not.

Now, to be sure, some people manage to stay married the second, third or fourth time. They learn to handle their, and their spouses short comings... But it doesn't alter the fact who divorce have character flaws they generally refuse to admit. I mean, after all, it's always the other person's fault.
What a load of judgmental horse crap.

First, EVERYone has character flaws, including you.

Second, not everyone refuses to admit them. Of course it takes two to break a marriage, just as much as it takes two to make a marriage.

But you know the definition of insanity, right? That insanity is when you do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result each time?

Sorry, but when a partnership isn't working, it's insane to continue with it. Life is much too short for that. My ex and I both knew that. We learned, we grew, we moved on.

And third, you're not in the marriages, therefore you are not in the divorces, therefore what you "notice" is nothing more than the projections cast by your own smug condescension.
 
Old 07-06-2011, 10:13 AM
 
5,273 posts, read 14,481,360 times
Reputation: 5880
Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident View Post
The one-liner retorts are most illuminating. So much for "forum" and "debate".
With all due respect, if you have the ability to "read" beyond the printed words, my posts speak volumes. I do so intentionally as I want people to think about what few words I may say. My assumption is that people here have that ability. I guess some do and some don't. So anytime you need me to spell it alllllllllll out for you, just ask. if I have the time, I shall do so- just for you. Otherwise, look at the thread and my posts again and this time consider what is being said. I am certain it will dawn on you what I am saying.
 
Old 07-06-2011, 10:35 AM
 
27,957 posts, read 39,578,439 times
Reputation: 26197
Quote:
Originally Posted by BLAZER PROPHET View Post
With all due respect, if you have the ability to "read" beyond the printed words, my posts speak volumes. I do so intentionally as I want people to think about what few words I may say. My assumption is that people here have that ability. I guess some do and some don't. So anytime you need me to spell it alllllllllll out for you, just ask. if I have the time, I shall do so- just for you. Otherwise, look at the thread and my posts again and this time consider what is being said. I am certain it will dawn on you what I am saying.
Beyond printed word. How foolish and ignorant. The more you pay attention the less you need to interpret. That defeats your argument.
 
Old 07-06-2011, 10:40 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,536,124 times
Reputation: 42762
Please discuss the topic and not one another. Thanks.
 
Old 07-06-2011, 10:52 AM
 
1 posts, read 2,860 times
Reputation: 10
This is so funny! I think a perhaps some of the men in this tiny box you've described are in this situation because they put their wives through hell in the marriage and it is just their marriage karma balancing things out. All joking aside, people who have to pay alimony and child support do so because typically their spouses gave up their careers to raise the children. You gotta pay to play and everyone puts in their share. The good guys get over it, move on and forward. It isn't easy, but their dating life needs to be on hold until they are in a good mindset again. A mourning period and some anger and fear are normal.

However, I don't think all divorced men are in this situation or mindset. If you do, by all means, avoid, avoid, avoid... but you might miss out on a great guy. Just be sure the baggage is on his end, because it sounds like you've got a trailer full of your own.

I think its the angry guys you need to avoid, not necessarily the divorced.
 
Old 07-06-2011, 11:08 AM
 
2,501 posts, read 3,635,772 times
Reputation: 1802
Depends on his reason for divorce. If he was cheated on, abused emotionally, psychologically, etc., or just had a psycho b*tch for a wife then maybe. But he can't have any kids from his previous marriage because I'm not becoming a step-mom dealing with kids who might hate or resent me due to their own choice or from poisoning from their mother. Also I don't want anyone burdened with paying child support. So basically, no baby mama drama.
 
Old 07-06-2011, 11:27 AM
 
2,650 posts, read 3,003,734 times
Reputation: 3466
Hmm paying maintenance? Yes. Whining over it? No, I have plenty of money. Bitter and dating? No on both counts. I am not dating while I parse things out, it is enough on my platter for now. As to damaged goods, we are all broken in some way. It is how we move forward with the bad things inside us that defines our nature. In the end we choose whether the glass will be half empty or half full and we have no one to blame for it's contents but ourselves.
 
Old 07-06-2011, 11:40 AM
 
27,957 posts, read 39,578,439 times
Reputation: 26197
Quote:
Originally Posted by crabman1 View Post
Hmm paying maintenance? Yes. Whining over it? No, I have plenty of money. Bitter and dating? No on both counts. I am not dating while I parse things out, it is enough on my platter for now. As to damaged goods, we are all broken in some way. It is how we move forward with the bad things inside us that defines our nature. In the end we choose whether the glass will be half empty or half full and we have no one to blame for it's contents but ourselves.
Exactly! Great post. It is what a person does with the bad that is a true measure of a person.
 
Old 07-06-2011, 11:43 AM
 
Location: USA
30,406 posts, read 21,633,223 times
Reputation: 18750
You can say that Divorced woman also have their own issues:

About half of the woman I have dated are divorced and have kids from a previous marriage. While I love kids, the headaches dealing with someone elses children can be dificult to say the least. I usually have the role of moms boyfriend and friend to the kids since it really isn't my place to be dad. Unfortunately, I have gotten the support phone call when the 15 yo kid gets picked up for under aged drinking or some other related issue. Comes with the territory, so it's not a big deal. Thank God the woman I attract don't seem to bag on their ex all of the time! That would mean the exes still have too much control over them!

Am I going to stop dating Divorced woman with kids and just date single woman without kids? No! There's plenty of high quality woman that are divorced, plus at 39 thats 2/3 of the dateable population.

Last edited by LS Jaun; 07-06-2011 at 12:18 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top