Divorced and Hung Out To Dry: Are Divorced Men Worth Dating? (wives, girlfriends)
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Ladies under 33, have you ever been on a date with a man who you thought was emotionally balanced only to find out during the date that he is guarded and jaded from being hung out to dry by the ex wife?
Do you notice how these men target relationships with attractive, young women who are independent, have never been married and have no kids.
Here is who they are: late 30's to mid 40′s, one or more kids, paying alimony, child support and college, ex wife left him with just the clothes on his back.
The worst attribute in these type of men is that they view us like the ex wife and think that we want their money, the little money that is left over after the ex wife got what she wanted. Many of us that are approached by these men own homes, have great careers, and are financially stable, yet they think we want their money. Really?
Should we date divorced men who pursue us, offering us very little, yet they have given their ex wives the world? Should we only date men who have never been married, have no alimony or child support to pay? That single guy who has never been married will more likely be emotionally balanced since he does not have to be a "financial well" for a woman and kids.
Ladies under 33, have you ever been on a date with a man who you thought was emotionally balanced only to find out during the date that he is guarded and jaded from being hung out to dry by the ex wife?
Do you notice how these men target relationships with attractive, young women who are independent, have never been married and have no kids.
Here is who they are: late 30's to mid 40′s, one or more kids, paying alimony, child support and college, ex wife left him with just the clothes on his back.
The worst attribute in these type of men is that they view us like the ex wife and think that we want their money, the little money that is left over after the ex wife got what she wanted. Many of us that are approached by these men own homes, have great careers, and are financially stable, yet they think we want their money. Really?
Should we date divorced men who pursue us, offering us very little, yet they have given their ex wives the world? Should we only date men who have never been married, have no alimony or child support to pay? That single guy who has never been married will more likely be emotionally balanced since he does not have to be a "financial well" for a woman and kids.
Men either have what women want and crave or they don't. At least 2/3 of men don't in every location and sometimes this goes as high as 85%.
Given these findings, it is not unreasonable to expect that women will gravitate towards men who have previously been married, since they obviously have what women want. As a result, such men get numerous chances and many are married multiple times.
If you don't like this, there are an amazing amount of available men out there - prime candidates - as long as impressing your girlfriends is not your main priority. The fact is, they may even tell you that you are making a big mistake since they know that a certain divorced guy will soon be available.
Relationships are hard enough under the best circumstances, why get involved with a bitter, broke dude with a ton of baggage? Find someone who is on the same page as you are. If you want to eventually marry and start a family of your own, i would find someone like-minded and go on that journey with someone together, hand in hand, who will also be experiencing it for the first time.
Not ALL this age group men are like that, even under similar circumstances. My opinion is the ones who hang onto the past and make excuse, The ex this, the ex that...are insecure, a real man, deals with it and moves on, all the while understandably being cautious for shallow, gold-digging women.
Ladies under 33, have you ever been on a date with a man who you thought was emotionally balanced only to find out during the date that he is guarded and jaded from being hung out to dry by the ex wife?
Do you notice how these men target relationships with attractive, young women who are independent, have never been married and have no kids.
Here is who they are: late 30's to mid 40′s, one or more kids, paying alimony, child support and college, ex wife left him with just the clothes on his back.
The worst attribute in these type of men is that they view us like the ex wife and think that we want their money, the little money that is left over after the ex wife got what she wanted. Many of us that are approached by these men own homes, have great careers, and are financially stable, yet they think we want their money. Really?
Should we date divorced men who pursue us, offering us very little, yet they have given their ex wives the world? Should we only date men who have never been married, have no alimony or child support to pay? That single guy who has never been married will more likely be emotionally balanced since he does not have to be a "financial well" for a woman and kids.
You know, you are doing these men a favor by not pursuing them.
Not ALL divorced men fit into that tiny little box you are trying to shove them in. I would even venture to say that most do not fit into your box.
Not many states require alimony anymore, yet I continue to see posts about it all of the time on CD. Also, most states divide the property and assets acquired DURING the marriage 50/50. Child support IS required from the non-custodial parent. Since the things I mentioned seem fair and equitable, I don't see why dating a divorced man is such a big deal. There are divorced men that are not bitter.
As has been said so well, you can't generalize since everyone is different and all divorces are different. One thing I have learned over many years is that divorce is a very painful process for both parties whether it's a combative affair or one which on the surface appears very civil. As with any trauma, it takes time to recover and I would caution anybody thinking of entering into a committed relationship with either a man or a woman who's recently divorced to tread lightly. People have to learn to be happy with themselves before they can commit themselves to another. I know, it's an old cliché but although well-worn is very true in my experience. I've been on both sides of the fence as both a divorcée and a "recovered single" dating divorced men. Most newly divorced people need at least a year to start to find themselves and another year or two to implement and change the negative findings. Some are never able or willing to do any soul-searching at all and stay bitter and go on to new marriages which so often also end in failure.
There's no real answer except to realize that one can't generalize and that waiting and watching really doesn't take that much out of a lifetime. Good luck! Oh, and if the bitterness is so apparent on a first date then don't go for the second date!
Ladies under 33, have you ever been on a date with a man who you thought was emotionally balanced only to find out during the date that he is guarded and jaded from being hung out to dry by the ex wife?
Do you notice how these men target relationships with attractive, young women who are independent, have never been married and have no kids.
Here is who they are: late 30's to mid 40′s, one or more kids, paying alimony, child support and college, ex wife left him with just the clothes on his back.
The worst attribute in these type of men is that they view us like the ex wife and think that we want their money, the little money that is left over after the ex wife got what she wanted. Many of us that are approached by these men own homes, have great careers, and are financially stable, yet they think we want their money. Really?
Should we date divorced men who pursue us, offering us very little, yet they have given their ex wives the world? Should we only date men who have never been married, have no alimony or child support to pay? That single guy who has never been married will more likely be emotionally balanced since he does not have to be a "financial well" for a woman and kids.
Good grief, could you paint men with any broader of a brush?
Ladies under 33, have you ever been on a date with a man who you thought was emotionally balanced only to find out during the date that he is guarded and jaded from being hung out to dry by the ex wife?
Do you notice how these men target relationships with attractive, young women who are independent, have never been married and have no kids.
Here is who they are: late 30's to mid 40′s, one or more kids, paying alimony, child support and college, ex wife left him with just the clothes on his back.
The worst attribute in these type of men is that they view us like the ex wife and think that we want their money, the little money that is left over after the ex wife got what she wanted. Many of us that are approached by these men own homes, have great careers, and are financially stable, yet they think we want their money. Really?
Should we date divorced men who pursue us, offering us very little, yet they have given their ex wives the world? Should we only date men who have never been married, have no alimony or child support to pay? That single guy who has never been married will more likely be emotionally balanced since he does not have to be a "financial well" for a woman and kids.
As a happily divorced man, I take umbrage to your conclusions. And no I don't fit the conclusion you have jumped to.
Last edited by SD4020; 07-06-2011 at 07:51 AM..
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