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There's a guy on the New England coast that has a hobby of searching for artifacts of historical significance in some of the larger rivers and waterways. He has a submarine that he constructed himself to conduct these searches.
That got me thinking.. Something like that requires a lot of ambition, research, time and hard work. That is indeed something that people would commend, but then again some people would see that as "eccentric" or "weird" (since some people look for any excuse to scream "red flag").
So ladies, what if you met a guy and he said he had his own submarine?
(I'm a guy, but the closest I ever got was building my own house. Not even close to something like a submersible watercraft!)
First I would laugh because I would think he's telling a silly joke (or perhaps a dirty joke, depending on the guy). And then when he insists I would say, "really, can I see it?" I would love to go see his project and let him tell me all about it, even though I wouldn't know what he was talking about. I would stand there and just keep interjecting "oh really?" and "then what did you do?" and have a big smile on my face while thinking "wow I love this guy he's awesome." You might think I sound sarcastic but I'm not being sarcastic. But then I would be concerned that I am not smart enough for him and that he would find me boring because I have no knowledge of his hobby. If I can surpress my embarrassment and fear of his approval of me then I'll get by. In short I say that I would be intimidated by his intelligence, but if he's ok with my lack of it, then I'm ok too.
There's a guy on the New England coast that has a hobby of searching for artifacts of historical significance in some of the larger rivers and waterways. He has a submarine that he constructed himself to conduct these searches.
That got me thinking.. Something like that requires a lot of ambition, research, time and hard work. That is indeed something that people would commend, but then again some people would see that as "eccentric" or "weird" (since some people look for any excuse to scream "red flag").
So ladies, what if you met a guy and he said he had his own submarine?
(I'm a guy, but the closest I ever got was building my own house. Not even close to something like a submersible watercraft!)
I would be totally impressed. I would wonder what would (say that 4 times) possess him to build of all things, a submarine? How the heck does it work? and can we go for a dive? those are the things I would say to a cool guy that can build a submarine.
First I would laugh because I would think he's telling a silly joke (or perhaps a dirty joke, depending on the guy). And then when he insists I would say, "really, can I see it?" I would love to go see his project and let him tell me all about it, even though I wouldn't know what he was talking about. I would stand there and just keep interjecting "oh really?" and "then what did you do?" and have a big smile on my face while thinking "wow I love this guy he's awesome." You might think I sound sarcastic but I'm not being sarcastic. But then I would be concerned that I am not smart enough for him and that he would find me boring because I have no knowledge of his hobby. If I can surpress my embarrassment and fear of his approval of me then I'll get by. In short I say that I would be intimidated by his intelligence, but if he's ok with my lack of it, then I'm ok too.
Although I'm more of a burger guy, that would be cool. A good sub sandwich for outings by the river is perfect. But I think it would depend on the meat and the toppings he used. And if he toasted the bread.
I would be interested in what he built and fascinated at his skills but in terms of relationship material I suspect I would consider him to be a little too obsessive .
I prefer for Hubby to be around to spend time with me than in his shed building some grand scheme which will take all the hours of his days and all his attention. One can admire someone's determination and single mindedness but still be wary of its impact on a relationship.
I find engineering projects fascinating but I have no desire to become a "submarine-widow" ! People who "make" always have a certain appeal but whether they are suitable for a committed relationship is another matter...
A friend of mine is an engineer and as a hobby builds all kinds of steam engines. It has taken him over two years to complete a full replica of a train steam engine from scratch . He has a life but still spends most of his time in his shed on different projects. A friend of this friend I met has taken 20 years to build a small steam train ( not miniature , a sort of "giant miniature" train basically from scratch and his wife left him. He spends every single week-end at steam conventions etc... Gee, I wonder why his spouse could not cope with him ! And I hate to think of the costs of materials etc...
Why do people keep bringing up the term "obsession" and "obsessive"? I never said anything about that. What about an entrepreneur starting and building a business? Or someone wanting to build a home or maybe a car from one of those kits? It's healthy to do things to stimulate your mind. And saying its a potential problem because "it might me they'll have less time for ME" is a bit selfish.
Why do people keep bringing up the term "obsession" and "obsessive"? I never said anything about that. What about an entrepreneur starting and building a business? Or someone wanting to build a home or maybe a car from one of those kits? It's healthy to do things to stimulate your mind. And saying its a potential problem because "it might me they'll have less time for ME" is a bit selfish.
Ambition and obsession are two different things.
Because doing a hobby like that well often does entail long hours and an obsession with the details.
I would be very impressed but not interested in a relationship with someone who was always going to be in the garage tinkering.
Now a man building a house is a different story because I have a passion for houses and would love to help out with the design and finishes. Also building a house could be a one off type of endeavor. I imagine people building kit cars or submarines might always be looking for the next challenge... which would get old really fast.
So it depends on the person - if it's an all encompassing hobby which we could SHARE then fine. Otherwise I don't think there's anything remotely selfish about wanting to be in a relationship with someone who wants to spend time with the spouse as a couple and not covered in oil in a shed.
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Yup! 
Sounds like a great guy.
(I'm a guy, but the closest I ever got was building my own house. Not even close to something like a submersible watercraft!)
I would stand there and just keep interjecting "oh really?" and "then what did you do?" and have a big smile on my face while thinking "wow I love this guy he's awesome." You might think I sound sarcastic but I'm not being sarcastic. But then I would be concerned that I am not smart enough for him and that he would find me boring because I have no knowledge of his hobby. If I can surpress my embarrassment and fear of his approval of me then I'll get by. In short I say that I would be intimidated by his intelligence, but if he's ok with my lack of it, then I'm ok too.
) possess him to build of all things, a submarine? How the heck does it work? and can we go for a dive? those are the things I would say to a cool guy that can build a submarine.
