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Old 07-12-2011, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Davenport, Iowa
2,472 posts, read 4,212,255 times
Reputation: 3432

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cindy_Jole View Post
This guy sure sounds like a keeper She stayed with him at his lowest point in life and he dumped her after he hit big time.
That's not really fair to the guy since we don't know the whole story. He could have been moving across the country and she staying in her town. Also, even if she was willing to move with him I can imagine it's difficult dating a pro athlete who's always on the road or with the team. He may have done her a favor.
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Old 07-12-2011, 03:17 PM
 
13,511 posts, read 19,269,573 times
Reputation: 16580
Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee View Post
It's hard to go back to normal.

One of my friends is a very beautiful girl. She was dating a professional athlete, and he bounced around the minors for a while, but then he got signed to a big contract in the League. And then he dumped her. That happened nearly five years ago and she hasn't had a boyfriend since.

And it's not that she doesn't want to be in a relationship or that nobody wants to be in a relationship with her. She has a long line of suitors, but she has admitted that it does feel somewhat like "settling" to her after her last BF, especially now that her best friend recently married a professional baseball player.

Are her standards too high? Or is she somewhat justified in feeling the way that she does?
Oh well....hope she realizes she may be "settling" for a lonely life..she sounds rather immature, and superficial to me.
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Old 07-12-2011, 05:30 PM
 
Location: Maryland
2,652 posts, read 4,795,927 times
Reputation: 2331
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cindy_Jole View Post
This guy sure sounds like a keeper She stayed with him at his lowest point in life and he dumped her after he hit big time.

I think your friend just wants something that seems ideal. Sure dating a pro athlete will bring her some measure of fortune and fame, but does she like having a long distance relationship (or else being on the road constantly) and being cheated on?
Maybe she wasn't his best.
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Old 07-12-2011, 05:36 PM
 
Location: USA
30,995 posts, read 22,039,678 times
Reputation: 19059
Quote:
Originally Posted by kinkytoes View Post
Aw, I wouldn't be so hard on the girl. Finding tall, black, wealthy athletic guys is probably tough. Seriously, if she really has a "type" then it could conceivably be difficult for her to feel attracted to other guys. I think people are just reacting because they feel those guys are "superior" to them.

What if her type were something else? I dated a guy for a long time when I was younger, and after we broke up, I definitely looked for another guy who had the same physical characteristics. I still go crazy for dark, curly hair and dark eyes. It can be more than smexual, the "comfort" of something familiar and positive may be compelling, as well.

Honestly, since I had dated that guy so long...even seeing different things was VERY strange and disconcerting. At times the attraction was not there as a result. Maybe it's more common for women than men? I think you can get hung up on a type. She doesn't have to be a "gold-digger" because she prefers a guy she feels attracted to and comfortable with.
May not apply in the case of the OP but I can see this happening with regular woman more so than men.
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Old 07-13-2011, 07:32 AM
 
18,270 posts, read 14,422,191 times
Reputation: 12985
When a person has the best of the best, it is hard to go back to normalcy once the best is gone, used up, exhausted. For example, Jeniffer Aniston dated Brad Pitt for some time and then was his wife for several more years. In her case, Brad was the best looker in Hollywood, raking in the dough, getting special treatment everywhere they went, getting into movies nobody else in Hollywood could get. They had power and were living the life an ordinary person could not even imagine. She was beautiful too and was making money as well, but with him, they were Hollywood's most powerful couple. Restaurants would probably even give them a table if that meant they had to kick Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton out. Angelina was nothing compared to Brad Pitt + Jeniffer Aniston. Only they had the power.

And then, Brad left her. She was no longer as powerful as before. She was just another Hollywood actress among thousands. Brad went on to be equally as powerful as before by marrying Angelina Jolie. He didn't lose anything. He ditched one beautiful actress and married another equally beautiful actress. His status remained the same. And now Angelina is enjoying the power and privilege that Jeniffer once knew.

Many years have gone by and Jeniffer has found men to be by her side. Some have been musicians (John Mayer), or actors. But none has ever been as notable as Brad Pitt. Her romances have only lasted short periods of time, and she has gone on record as saying that she will always love Brad. To this day, there are rumors that Jeniffer still talks to Brad behind Angelina's back. It seems that Jeniffer has never really lost hope that Brad will return to her.

Psychologically, she must have a hard time moving on from " what used to be", since it was the most wonderful time of her life. She was never so privileged as when she was with him. In her mind, she equates good fortune and a charmed life, with him. This will always be. However, she must take a look at her current circumstances, if she hasn't already, and decide to put the past behind. What was, will never be again. The sooner she realizes that time has passed, she is getting old, and history will never be the present or the future, the sooner she can accept that the future is waiting for her to be happy, in a more genuine fashion, with someone who can give her something besides power. She doesn't have to "settle" for less. She just has to see with her heart. The right person will present himself when she can "see with her heart". She has many more things to learn. One of which might even include real love. She obviously never has known real love, since Brad never gave her real love. If Brad had loved her, he never would have betrayed her. If she can ever see that what he did was betray her, she will move on. She will want to seek what's real, and leave that illusion in the past. But she must first see, that what she had with Brad, was nothing more than a beautiful, but deceptive illusion. When she finally realizes it was all an illusion, she will be ready for something real.

As a friend, you might want to tell your friend that glamour and power, are not the only things life has to offer. There are other things, and even better things out there. She cannot settle, if what she gets is better than what she had. Tell her.
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Old 07-13-2011, 07:48 AM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,940 posts, read 21,615,910 times
Reputation: 8681
Quote:
Originally Posted by kinkytoes View Post
Aw, I wouldn't be so hard on the girl. Finding tall, black, wealthy athletic guys is probably tough. Seriously, if she really has a "type" then it could conceivably be difficult for her to feel attracted to other guys. I think people are just reacting because they feel those guys are "superior" to them.
I don't quite recall where the OP mentioned the athlete in question being black ...
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Old 07-13-2011, 07:54 AM
 
Location: Land of Free Johnson-Weld-2016
6,470 posts, read 16,390,574 times
Reputation: 6520
Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
I don't quite recall where the OP mentioned the athlete in question being black ...
I have an active imagination.
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Old 07-13-2011, 07:55 AM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,940 posts, read 21,615,910 times
Reputation: 8681
Quote:
Originally Posted by kinkytoes View Post
i have an active imagination.
:d ok.
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Old 07-13-2011, 08:03 AM
 
550 posts, read 604,148 times
Reputation: 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee View Post
Are her standards too high? Or is she somewhat justified in feeling the way that she does?
Not too high. Just unrealistic. She feels she deserves a privileged life. Lot of women seem to these days. But the reality of it is no one deserves anything. He was right for dumping her. Seems she was with him for the wrong reasons.
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Old 07-13-2011, 08:07 AM
 
550 posts, read 604,148 times
Reputation: 199
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow View Post
One of the astronauts who went to the moon once made the remark, what do you do after you walk on the moon? Makes perfect sense. Everyone wants to get bigger and better. Life is supposed to improve. What does one do when one started out with the best?

Your friend may just have to accept that she already had her walk on the moon and her 15 minutes of fame. The rest of her life will be much more ordinary.
HA! Walked on the moon.........
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