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Old 01-05-2012, 03:10 PM
 
Location: OKC
551 posts, read 1,919,466 times
Reputation: 416

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I'm not backpedaling. I could careless what you think lol I can already tell by reading your posts that we see things differently. I could argue with you for hours.

Like the forgetting the wallet--in the glovebox. Yeah, in my car is where I found it after dinner. I was thankful. And I'm a forgetful person through no fault of my own.

If I ever forgot my wallet on a first date, I'd laugh...and more than make it up to the lucky woman!
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Old 01-05-2012, 03:21 PM
 
538 posts, read 1,516,047 times
Reputation: 722
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenvillebuckeye View Post
Just ended a "relationship" with a girl who ended it by texting me saying she needs a guy who pays for things the majority of the time.
Haha, I am laughing so hard that I can't even finish the original post, let alone read any responses.
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Old 01-05-2012, 03:46 PM
 
Location: Northside Of Jacksonville
3,337 posts, read 7,088,647 times
Reputation: 3464
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anna777 View Post
hmmm...guys want good looks and expect women to not have standards as well? As soon as women have criteria that seems unreasonable to the opposite sex, it is a disgrace? very interesting. last time i checked, real men pay for dates. If you cant afford a steak house, go to mD's, but atleast pay for her dollar meal. cheapo's. Im sure you men have "criteria" that women dont like. I shouldnt even have to make this point to grown men of any standard on an internet board , jesus.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
By the same token, I make less money than a lot of men, yet they expect to date a woman who looks like she has a personal trainer, and works out every day for five hours, shops at Victoria Secret, wears designer clothing, has her nails, hair, and make up professionally done.

And now, the guy wants me to buy my own coffee at Starbuck's? Sure. Just don't expect to come home with me too.
These women are perfect examples of who NOT to date. Good job ladies
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Old 01-05-2012, 05:31 PM
 
8,679 posts, read 15,216,427 times
Reputation: 15341
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
By the same token, I make less money than a lot of men, yet they expect to date a woman who looks like she has a personal trainer, and works out every day for five hours, shops at Victoria Secret, wears designer clothing, has her nails, hair, and make up professionally done.

And now, the guy wants me to buy my own coffee at Starbuck's? Sure. Just don't expect to come home with me too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Northside904 View Post
These women are perfect examples of who NOT to date. Good job ladies

Actually, that happened to my sister. She met the guy at a diner. He decides he wants a cup of coffee. She orders an [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egg_cream"]egg cream[/URL]. The check comes, it's five bucks, and he says, "WOW! Your egg cream cost three bucks and change!" And he puts $2.00 on the table.

She pays for her egg cream, he walks her to her car, and then he proceeds to try to kiss her.

Whiskey tango foxtrot?

Not that it would have been appropriate if he did pay for her beverage, or even if he bought her lunch. But it does take extra special sparkly balls to be that cheap and then expect a little somethin' somethin'.

Best part is, this guy was in his 40s.
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Old 01-05-2012, 07:47 PM
 
3,670 posts, read 7,131,490 times
Reputation: 4269
Two different issues are at hand here. I think we can all agree that in theory, it is quite fair to expect a woman to pay for her own stuff when she's working and able to provide for herself (as most women are these days). However in practice, because men paying has been the tradition for so long and because most men will readily do so as a result, women just expect it and might get offended if the man doesn't pay. Personally I don't care about the $15-20 my meal would cost, but if a dude asked the waiter to split the check on the first date I would think he wasn't interested in me and I would get kinda upset if I thought things had been going well up to that point. Why? Because they always offer to pay so it would seem weird. It isn't fair- I agree. You can't change gender roles and expectations overnight, though.
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Old 01-06-2012, 05:41 AM
 
19,045 posts, read 25,102,933 times
Reputation: 13484
Mod cut: Orphaned. (Referenced post has been deleted.)

This thread has me wondering if if not all situations are appropriate for trying to put ourselves in the shoes of another. That's what I try to do as often as I can remember. I don't know if that's something people generally do. But, when I put myself in his or other guys shoes and imagine people expecting me to pay for them I find it annoying as all hell. Do you, or any of the other women in this thread, bother to do that? If so, how do you reconcile the expectation? If you're not doing that, why not? Or, as initially stated, is this just a subject where someone wouldn't bother trying to grasp a different perspective? Lots of questions.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 01-06-2012 at 02:10 PM..
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Old 01-06-2012, 06:01 AM
 
Location: Harrisonburg, VA
994 posts, read 1,676,238 times
Reputation: 1208
LOL... So what have we learned kids Always send the girl a bill for all expenses on the date..remember to add in quarter you had to hand the homeless man because she made googoo eyes at you. Always have a glovebox...even if you ride a motorcycle...so you can *forget your wallet* in there It is better to frequent McDonalds dollar menu then a steak house! And if you really don't feel like paying, excuse yourself to the bathroom and jump out the window...which brings me to my next point..always dine in establishments located on the FIRST FLOOR.
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Old 01-06-2012, 06:10 AM
 
Location: Texas
44,257 posts, read 64,019,615 times
Reputation: 73913
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
Mod cut: Orphaned.

This thread has me wondering if if not all situations are appropriate for trying to put ourselves in the shoes of another. That's what I try to do as often as I can remember. I don't know if that's something people generally do. But, when I put myself in his or other guys shoes and imagine people expecting me to pay for them I find it annoying as all hell. Do you, or any of the other women in this thread, bother to do that? If so, how do you reconcile the expectation? If you're not doing that, why not? Or, as initially stated, is this just a subject where someone wouldn't bother trying to grasp a different perspective? Lots of questions.
I have an irritating habit of always picking up the tab when we go out to dinner (with friends, family, etc). I have picked up the tab for 14+ people before. I can't help myself...I am a tab picker upper. This is a well-known thing.

We had two friends who never reciprocated (or even offered to). They are no longer our friends. Yes. The expectation is EXTREMELY annoying. But it is a pure joy to do it for those we love (and who always either fight us for the check or do other things to show their appreciation).

My in-laws say we are the only one of their kids who insists on picking up the tab. They are rich as hell (millions), so all their kids just expect them to buy whenever they go out. I would find that so disrespectful and inconsiderate...I could never do that to them.

I agree with Yzette...people who keep score or go through all these crazy machinations to come up with some stupid formula of who should pay when...that is not how I operate. When I am surrounded by those I love (and vice versa), it's all about how much I can give.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 01-06-2012 at 02:11 PM..
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Old 01-06-2012, 06:17 AM
 
Location: Harrisonburg, VA
994 posts, read 1,676,238 times
Reputation: 1208
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
I have an irritating habit of always picking up the tab when we go out to dinner (with friends, family, etc). I have picked up the tab for 14+ people before. I can't help myself...I am a tab picker upper. This is a well-known thing.

We had two friends who never reciprocated (or even offered to). They are no longer our friends. Yes. The expectation is EXTREMELY annoying. But it is a pure joy to do it for those we love (and who always either fight us for the check or do other things to show their appreciation).

My in-laws say we are the only one of their kids who insists on picking up the tab. They are rich as hell (millions), so all their kids just expect them to buy whenever they go out. I would find that so disrespectful and inconsiderate...I could never do that to them.

I agree with Yzette...people who keep score or go through all these crazy machinations to come up with some stupid formula of who should pay when...that is not how I operate. When I am surrounded by those I love (and vice versa), it's all about how much I can give.
Stan4, I am kinda hungry...wanna go for dinner lol
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Old 01-06-2012, 06:26 AM
 
19,045 posts, read 25,102,933 times
Reputation: 13484
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freedom123 View Post
I don't see the problem if I'm pushing for equality and not at all interested in seeing women treated the way they were in the past. I simply have disagreements with the radicals and some of NOW's policies on child custody.

Ah well, c'est la vie.
Yea, I've seen you mention that in the past and I largely think your arguments are a load of hooey in that arena.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
I have an irritating habit of always picking up the tab when we go out to dinner (with friends, family, etc). I have picked up the tab for 14+ people before. I can't help myself...I am a tab picker upper. This is a well-known thing.

We had two friends who never reciprocated (or even offered to). They are no longer our friends. Yes. The expectation is EXTREMELY annoying. But it is a pure joy to do it for those we love (and who always either fight us for the check or do other things to show their appreciation).

My in-laws say we are the only one of their kids who insists on picking up the tab. They are rich as hell (millions), so all their kids just expect them to buy whenever they go out. I would find that so disrespectful and inconsiderate...I could never do that to them.

I agree with Yzette...people who keep score or go through all these crazy machinations to come up with some stupid formula of who should pay when...that is not how I operate. When I am surrounded by those I love (and vice versa), it's all about how much I can give.
I don't think it's about keeping score. At least not from where I sit. I think the score keeping argument is a bit of a ruse. And I don't think it's about the actual paying. We all love to treat our loved ones. I thoroughly enjoy my dinner parties, for example. I'll spend two days prepping and cooking. And it's never on the cheap. It's not about that. It's not about doing nice things for others.

Rather, tradition tells that men pay and that position is socially loaded and complicated with boons and consequences. That's fine. But, isn't it really about social conditioning? There is no good reason in 2012 for men to pay. They are expected to pay because we're conditioned to believe it's right. It's the way of things. That's fine as well. What's not fine, in my eyes, is the apparent lack of awareness. I may be wrong, but I'm seeing a bit of mindlessness in this thread.

One member brought up a super model and said shouldn't he pay for her? As if it's because of her beauty. Another member mentioned her vagina. They have to pay for her vagina. Or be it cheapness, generosity, etc. It's so much more than all of that and frankly, I find the prostitution assertions, which is what they are, to be clear crazy.

Again, I wonder how many of the women have paused, put themselves in the shoes of those that are expected to give, pay, owe, etc A or B, and then form an opinion. There's a whole lot of entitlement here and I'm not understanding how it sits with people in an honest way.
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