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Old 01-22-2012, 12:56 AM
 
6,143 posts, read 7,528,245 times
Reputation: 6617

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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommabear2 View Post
That's a great philosophy if it works for you and if you're making close to the same amount of money (and I can see how you'd be embarrassed by someone paying all the time if he made the same amount as you). But what I find interesting is when people try to maintain that philosophy regardless of the income discrepancy.

My husband and I have a really good relationship and he's unconventional in that he pays for everything and always has because he's in the top 2% income earners in the U.S. and I'm not ashamed to say I never came close. It would be hilarious to say the least if I tried to take turns with him or pay for half of our bills. Am I embarrassed by it? Nope. I dealt with my pride issues already. Now, if I made his money, sure, take turns - split the bills that would be different.

Not to you in particular - but just in general. Do I think women should expect a man to pay for everything? Absolutely not. Women should be as self sufficient as possible and not look for or expect a man to come save the day and pay your bills or dates. Some guys like to provide fully for their women/dates while others don't - it's not a good vs. bad issue to me. Just go by what's practical.
If the income disparity is that great, then expecting an even split is probably not realistic. Still, how hard is it to throw down $20 or $30 every now and then for a meal out? I guess some women don't mind always taking from a man. That's just not my style.
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Old 01-22-2012, 01:21 AM
 
Location: Columbus, Ohio
1,781 posts, read 2,670,155 times
Reputation: 7071
Lightbulb Just When You Think The Swamp Has Been Dredged...

Quote:
Originally Posted by misiu007 View Post
I am kind of blown away by how many women hold on to these antiquated belief that a man should pay their way.

And I am blown away by the seemingly endless parade of cats (guys) who come rolling through here talking out of their hind-ends like they are the final authority on how women are 'antiquated' and what real men should do...perhaps if you spent more time observing and actually learning something, and going out on a real date and acting like you have a pair and a spinal column, instead of practicing lame pick-up lines on your teddy bear with the picture of Sofia Vergara taped to it's face, maybe you MIGHT learn what a woman actually DOES expect from a man

Feels like I just got in my time machine and travelled to 1912.

How about if somebody borrowed your time machine, and went back to just a couple of days before you decided to post this post-adolescent manifesto of yours, and backhanded you when you tried to reach for your computer, so we wouldn't have to hear you whine like a used Mazda rotary engine? Darn...lucky for you time machines don't exist


No man wants to come accross as a cheapskate by being petty or pushy about the girl paying her share, but I can tell you that many guys appreciate the offer. So lets sum it up. Man should always pay, because:

I will now take this apart piece-by-piece

-its the manly thing to do (actualy no it isnt. A real man doesnt need to pay for your time, or sex)


Nope...a real man finds a woman who appreciates him paying, and also doesn't blow a gasket when SHE wants to pay either...also, a real man doesn't cry like somebody snatched his ducky-wucky about it either


-women make .70 on every 1.00 a man makes (that is true, although it doesnt stop you from offering to pitch in every now and then)

Dude, please, what have you been doing---dating Alice the Goon and Olive Oyl while Popeye and Bluto are out to sea? Must be, because I know a LOT of women who are proud, confident and independent as hell, and don't mind cracking their purses open to pay once in a while ( I know, 'cause I married one!)

-we bare children (this is also true, however I cant find any correlation between baring children and paying for dates)

Hello...somebody bore YOUR a** into the world ( and by the way, spell check is your friend...the way you worded that, sounds like women run around taking off kids clothes for fun and excitement ['we "bare" children'])

-we have to get dressed nice and look our best for the date (ummm..so does your guy, or you wouldnt be dating him)

Ummm...seems by now we have a kinda over-inflated opinion of ourselves, eh?

-he wants to take me out to get anywhere later that night (true, he is paying for sex, Its called prostitution- making you a hooker)

I would pay money to see the a**-whippin' you'd get if you actually had the grapefruits to say something like that to a woman's face in public...heck, not only would I pay money, I'd sell tickets and call an ambulance for you afterward! You REALLY need to find the person who filled your head with this junk and smack them in the mouth for lying



- he is taking up my valuable time (as if your time was any more valuable than his?)

Yeah, right...apparently, YOU took up someone's time, and she left after you started complaining about having to pay for an extra toy in your Happy Meal

- i dont want a 50/50 proposition, i have that with my guy friends (you dont want the 50/50 proposition when it comes to giving, but want to be considered equal when it comes to taking?)

Your local library called...they want you to know that your copy of 'How To Be A Whiny, Misogynistic, Pain In The Keister' is about 10 years overdue...be a good sport and give them their book back, and stop acting like you're imparting some timeless wisdom on us...you ain't got it like that, son

So far that all i have. Ladies, please keep them coming. Im having a great laugh so far.
Well, by all means, knock yourself out laughing, because we all know you'd never say any of the above to a real woman face to face---you'd be too busy running a 9.2 100-meter dash trying to avoid the beatdowns you'd be asking for

My responses, good people, are in boldface
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Old 01-22-2012, 01:42 AM
 
11,865 posts, read 16,940,928 times
Reputation: 20083
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
Well, I think we're around the same age... you may be a few yrs younger... but IDK, I think that it would just be odd if the guy didn't pay the first couple times at least... IDK.

That's how I roll at least......
I think I'm several years behind you.

And, hey, if he wants to pay for a while I'm fine with that. I just don't want someone who expects me to pay on the first date. I offer because it's polite.
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Old 01-22-2012, 01:47 AM
 
Location: So Cal
51,844 posts, read 52,235,316 times
Reputation: 52305
Quote:
Originally Posted by spinx View Post
I think I'm several years behind you.

And, hey, if he wants to pay for a while I'm fine with that. I just don't want someone who expects me to pay on the first date. I offer because it's polite.

Just blink....


You'lll be right there... trust me.....
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Old 01-22-2012, 01:53 AM
 
11,865 posts, read 16,940,928 times
Reputation: 20083
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
Just blink....


You'lll be right there... trust me.....
I'll still be behind you!
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Old 01-22-2012, 02:44 AM
 
Location: Austin, TX
527 posts, read 1,228,970 times
Reputation: 448
Quote:
Originally Posted by spinx View Post
As a female, I always offer to help pay on the first date. I expect my date to pay, but I think offering is polite. If he accepts my money on the first date, then I'm probably not going to see him again because I don't want to be with one of those "women want to be equal, they should be treated like men" buffoons.

After the first time out, I'm game for paying whatever.
Right on. I will never actually let the girl pay for the few few dates, but I'd the see her offer. It's the gesture that counts.

I remember one first date, we had dinner and I paid, and then afterwards we went to get coffee. When we got up to leave, I go up to the counter to pay. She tries to pay for the coffee (since I paid for dinner, she says). Of course I wouldn't let her, so she literally bumped me aside with her hip (playfully of course), and took the bill. That made me laugh and I thought that was super cool
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Old 01-22-2012, 06:05 AM
 
11,865 posts, read 16,940,928 times
Reputation: 20083
Quote:
Originally Posted by phoenix_down View Post
Right on. I will never actually let the girl pay for the few few dates, but I'd the see her offer. It's the gesture that counts.

I remember one first date, we had dinner and I paid, and then afterwards we went to get coffee. When we got up to leave, I go up to the counter to pay. She tries to pay for the coffee (since I paid for dinner, she says). Of course I wouldn't let her, so she literally bumped me aside with her hip (playfully of course), and took the bill. That made me laugh and I thought that was super cool
That's how I see it as well. I can't imagine not offering.

I don't particularly feel entitled to having everything paid for me, so it's quite uncomfortable. Even when I go out with one of my parents and they insist on paying, I will at least tip.
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Old 01-22-2012, 09:54 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,058,312 times
Reputation: 22274
I've been thinking about this for the last few days... Now that we have a son - what will we teach him? And I know I'm going to get flack for this - but we are going to teach him to be a gentleman. "A gentleman? What's that? It's time for the women to be the gentleman!" Yes, I know that is how many of you feel. But - I'm going to teach him to go for what he wants. If he likes a certain young lady - he should take the initiative and ask her out. And he should pay for the date, like a gentleman. He should also hold doors open for her and compliment her, like a gentleman. And how can he tell if the young lady is a keeper? She should offer to pay at the end of the date. She should thank him for opening the door. She should compliment him in return. And if I was raising a daughter - I would also tell her to go after what she wants. There is nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out. And if she does, she should pay. A gentleman will offer to pay - but if she asked him out, she should insist on paying.

Maybe I'm old school - but I still think men should act like gentlemen and women should act like ladies. And I don't mean that women should cross their legs at the ankles or that men should earn all the money - I'm talking about manners, courtesy, and respect. There are so many people on here that just don't seem to have any respect for the other gender. I'm raising my son to be respectful - hopefully!
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Old 01-22-2012, 10:22 AM
 
5,472 posts, read 7,577,981 times
Reputation: 5793
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikantari View Post
1. My parents did not raise me to expect anything from a man, ever. My father did, however, teach me what a real man is.
2. Not sure where you are as your profile does not give much information. I grew up outside of Washington DC until the age of about 15, when we moved to the southern portion of Virginia. The is where my first date occurred and where I came across my first real boyfriend. I would guess it was he who set the stage of what I thought men were supposed to do. He was 17 and I was 15 and at that age, he already had his own business and would not have ever had me pay for anything, and I imagine that is what his father taught him. That was in 1989. I am 38 now.
3. Once again, I do not expect anything from a man. One should not assume anything out of someone else, or a group of people as a whole. My boyfriends time is just as valuable as mine. He owes me nothing. I sold him nothing.

You can take your prostitution comment and shove it right where the sun doesn't shine.

Did I expect him to bring me flowers and my favorite coffee on our first date? No, but he did. He has taken me places and has and spent more time and money on me than every man combined has in my life, and this is to include my ex husband who I was with for 16 years!

I don't ask him to, he just does it. I even tell him he doesn't have to do it, even still, he does. Do I do things for him? Of course I do...

The thing with all of this, understand, is some of the things he does for me or says to me which do not cost a dime are what makes me love him so much.

I do not care about money or things. I am not that way. I am certainly not prostituting my time.

I have a feeling you think you are far superior to women and think that maybe they owe you something......
wow, little defensive arent we? Must have spoken some truth somewhere, or else you wouldnt feel so offended. My comment was about ladies who EXPECT men to always pickup the tab, and by your own admission you arent one of them, so it doesnt apply. Lgithen up Francis.
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Old 01-22-2012, 10:27 AM
 
5,472 posts, read 7,577,981 times
Reputation: 5793
Quote:
Originally Posted by captaincatfish View Post
Well, by all means, knock yourself out laughing, because we all know you'd never say any of the above to a real woman face to face---you'd be too busy running a 9.2 100-meter dash trying to avoid the beatdowns you'd be asking for

My responses, good people, are in boldface
Your responses are pretty fruity in every sense. Lots of blah nonsense and underhanded cheap shots. My opinion is just that, and has much to do with todays reality than the nonsensical responses from you. Live and learn, sunny.
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