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Old 12-24-2012, 12:28 PM
 
3,452 posts, read 4,594,069 times
Reputation: 4985

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Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
I always offer to pay even on the first date. I've never ever had a guy let me contribute on the first date. I think most guys appreciate the offer even though they want to pay. I can't help it - it just strikes me as rude for me to sit there when the check comes like I just assume he's picking up the tab. I always get out my wallet and offer to split the check. And by the 3rd or 4th date I usually insist on contributing...at least paying half or getting the drinks, something. I know someone who actually said she enjoyed online dating because she got so many free meals and drinks out of it. That didn't sit well with me and I don't want guys to think I'm using them for their wallets. Funnily enough that chick is now in a LTR and I'm still single, so maybe I'm doing things wrong.
Guys definitely appreciate the offer to pay. Don't fall into the trap of having the attitude that your friend does. Women that do what she does USUALLY end up used and abused. I have met many. Her situation is a rare one. She is either REALLY good looking or she is finding guys that have no pride in themselves and don't mind being with a seriel dater.

Continue to be generous and avoid being selfish like many are and you will be fine. Just a matter of meeting the right guy.
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Old 12-24-2012, 12:37 PM
 
Location: Mammoth Lakes, CA
3,360 posts, read 8,355,056 times
Reputation: 8595
Before we married, I always split dates 50/50 with my then-boyfriend. That was true from the very first date we ever had. I never felt comfortable having a man pay for me. I always wanted to pay my own way in everything and always did. I've never understood women who think it's their due to have a guy shell out for movies, meals or entertainment. And if I was a man I would never remotely be attracted to any woman who expected this.
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Old 12-24-2012, 05:00 PM
 
50,100 posts, read 35,741,641 times
Reputation: 76072
I didn't pay anything until we were in an exclusive relationship BUT I would suggest things that were low cost or free for dates. To me it is a turn off to be asked for or even allowed to pay on the first few dates, I like to feel courted and taken care of in the early stages of dating. I offer to pay now, but my guy is a man's man in terms of that kind of thing, and even though I make more than him, he feels emasculated if I pay. I do usually pay the tip when we go out to eat.
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Old 12-24-2012, 06:52 PM
 
664 posts, read 771,446 times
Reputation: 922
hmmm, guess if I want to ever date I need to start saving my money up now. I love being thought of as a walking atm.
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Old 12-24-2012, 07:08 PM
 
3,452 posts, read 4,594,069 times
Reputation: 4985
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
I didn't pay anything until we were in an exclusive relationship BUT I would suggest things that were low cost or free for dates. To me it is a turn off to be asked for or even allowed to pay on the first few dates, I like to feel courted and taken care of in the early stages of dating. I offer to pay now, but my guy is a man's man in terms of that kind of thing, and even though I make more than him, he feels emasculated if I pay. I do usually pay the tip when we go out to eat.

Man's man????? What does that have to do with a woman offering to pay for a date?????
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Old 12-24-2012, 07:09 PM
 
Location: Tha 6th Bourough
3,633 posts, read 5,767,047 times
Reputation: 1765
Quote:
Originally Posted by YellowT View Post

I need an honest opinion from guys. Do you find it rude if girls don't pay or don't offer to pay and no matter how much you like her you would stop seeing her? Or you don't mind paying all the time so long you spend time with a girl you really like?

I would call this a woman having her cake and eating it too. I mean this is just how it is and we can't change the way society thinks, but women have equal rights and yet we still have this mentallity around. I think if you have equal rights then you should pay half of the time and the man should pay the other half of the time, but for some reason that feminist push for equal rights only wanted to get rid of the things they didn't want as they try to keep what they did like such as chivalry aka expecting a man to pay for dates.
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Old 12-24-2012, 07:11 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,530,848 times
Reputation: 16394
Quote:
Originally Posted by RazorRob305 View Post
I would call this a woman having her cake and eating it too. I mean this is just how it is and we can't change the way society thinks, but women have equal rights and yet we still have this mentallity around. I think if you have equal rights then you should pay half of the time and the man should pay the other half of the time, but for some reason that feminist push for equal rights only wanted to get rid of the things they didn't want as they try to keep what they did like such as chivalry aka expecting a man to pay for dates.
I simply don't see how women wanting to vote or wanting equal pay for equal work has anything to do with who pays on a date.

Why don't you organize a group of men to protest outside of restaurants and demand that women equally pay for meals? Or, you can start dating women who offer to pay. Ask them upfront before the date. Simple.
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Old 12-24-2012, 07:20 PM
 
Location: Tha 6th Bourough
3,633 posts, read 5,767,047 times
Reputation: 1765
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
I simply don't see how women wanting to vote or wanting equal pay for equal work has anything to do with who pays on a date.

Why don't you organize a group of men to protest outside of restaurants and demand that women equally pay for meals? Or, you can start dating women who offer to pay. Ask them upfront before the date. Simple.
I pay on dates because I'm old fashioned, but my issue is when society makes women feel entitled to still hold onto the benefits of the dating world and expect guys to do all these things they used to do as they now have equal rights. I say if you are going to expect equal rights for one area of being a woman then expect it in all areas equally. As for me, I try to meet like minded people, you know old school women who are in relationships for the 'man' and not for the 'status' the man brings them such as most of the younger women are in it for these days. Note I said most, not each or all.
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Old 12-24-2012, 07:27 PM
 
3,452 posts, read 4,594,069 times
Reputation: 4985
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
I simply don't see how women wanting to vote or wanting equal pay for equal work has anything to do with who pays on a date.

Why don't you organize a group of men to protest outside of restaurants and demand that women equally pay for meals? Or, you can start dating women who offer to pay. Ask them upfront before the date. Simple.
At the end of the day if a woman is truly selfish it will eventually show. In the case where a guy realizes he is dealing with a selfish woman one of three things will happen:

(1) The guy with low self esteem continues to wine and dine the woman in hopes that she will like him and want to continue spending time with him. He doesn't believe he can find anything better.

(2) The nice guy will simply pay for the meal and most likely never call the woman back for a second date.

(3) The not so nice guy will probably take her out on one or more dates until she lets her guard down and gives him sex. Then he puts her in the booty call category and either deletes her number or calls her when his other two or three women are occupied.

Bottom line. Being put in the selfish category by a guy you are truly interested in is not something that a woman wants to happen.
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Old 12-24-2012, 07:28 PM
 
1,344 posts, read 4,746,789 times
Reputation: 1490
I'll pay first date, but if she doesnt offer, thats a big red flag. If she doesn't offer on the second date, c-ya.

If I'm looking for something casual/shortterm, and I'm very upfront about that, I'll pay every time.
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