City-Data Forum How long before she starts paying for dates? (emotional, support, realize)
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12-24-2012, 07:29 PM
 Location: Aventura FL 868 posts, read 1,118,401 times Reputation: 1175

I pretty much always pay. I question myself for doing so, but it's simply too ingrained in my psyche and many have taken advantage.

12-24-2012, 07:32 PM
 3,452 posts, read 4,594,069 times Reputation: 4985
Quote:
 Originally Posted by smarterguy I'll pay first date, but if she doesnt offer, thats a big red flag. If she doesn't offer on the second date, c-ya. If I'm looking for something casual/shortterm, and I'm very upfront about that, I'll pay every time.

12-24-2012, 08:03 PM
 Location: Southern California 15,083 posts, read 20,392,732 times Reputation: 10343
Quote:
 Originally Posted by YellowT When do girls start paying for dates?
I determine *when* based on this equation:

WHEN = [((0.8A x 05B x 0.4P + \$M/12 - \$H/12) / (T x L x S))^(F + S) x U] x (warp factor) - 1

Where:

A = appearance (on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being whateve sets me off)

I = intelligence (on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being Einstein)

P = personality (on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being great)

T = time we've been in the relationship (in days)

\$M = my income

\$H = her income

L = love level (on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being magical)

S = number of times we have sex per week

F = how many times we go out

U = what we want out of this relationship (on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being marriage, kids, death do us part)

warp factor = self-explanatory

[as you can see, it's complicated]

12-24-2012, 08:05 PM
 Location: Albuquerque, NM 13,290 posts, read 15,226,169 times Reputation: 6657
Quote:
 Originally Posted by YellowT I need an honest opinion from guys. Do you find it rude if girls don't pay or don't offer to pay and no matter how much you like her you would stop seeing her? Or you don't mind paying all the time so long you spend time with a girl you really like?
Yes, I find it rude. I've been seeing a woman for a few weeks now. We've gone out (also stayed in) maybe 10 times. She paid once.

But she's damn good in bed, so what am I gonna do?

12-24-2012, 08:10 PM
 Location: Albuquerque, NM 13,290 posts, read 15,226,169 times Reputation: 6657
Quote:
 Originally Posted by JetJockey I simply don't see how women wanting to vote or wanting equal pay for equal work has anything to do with who pays on a date.
Why do you think the tradition of men paying for dates began?

12-24-2012, 08:27 PM
 1,135 posts, read 2,375,765 times Reputation: 1514
I never paid for a date unless it was my boyfriend's birthday. I never paid when dating my husband either.

I like men who like to spend money on me and can afford to do so. I don't think I would have been into a guy who wanted to split the check unless he had lost his job or was going through some other temporary rough spot.

There's nothing wrong with it of course and it makes sense given that most women work these days. It's just not something I'd offer to do if I ever got divorced and re-entered the dating scene.

It could be part of the Italian culture in which I was raised. Gender roles are very defined with men expected to support a woman financially and women expected to be attractive, know how to cook a great meal, and keep a clean house.

Last edited by LisaMc46; 12-24-2012 at 08:33 PM.. Reason: added last paragraph

12-24-2012, 11:56 PM
 Location: Tall Building down by the river 39,605 posts, read 58,779,527 times Reputation: 9451
Quote:
 Originally Posted by YellowT My friends and I were discussing about this. Apparently, one of my friends never paid for any dates even she's already in a committed relationship with a guy. I on the other hand doesn't pay till I'm in a committed relationship. I think whoever does the asking out will have to pay and I don't ask a guy out till were officially bf/gf (I almost once but had to think it twice and it didn't happen). Another friend pays even if it was the guy who ask her to hang out. She pays for the whole bill or pays half. I went out with a guy for seven months and he paid for all our dates. I currently seeing a dude and the last five dates he paid. All the other guys I've been out with, they paid for our dates. I don't mind paying but only if I'm in a committed relationship with that person I'm dating and if I'm the one asking the person out. So I wonder, after how many dates does a girl start paying half or paying for the whole date? I need an honest opinion from guys. Do you find it rude if girls don't pay or don't offer to pay and no matter how much you like her you would stop seeing her? Or you don't mind paying all the time so long you spend time with a girl you really like?

Usually the 3rd date

12-25-2012, 12:05 AM
 2,886 posts, read 5,788,876 times Reputation: 1885
I am a guy and I guess I am old school because I feel that the man should always pay for the date. The woman can give him gifts as a sign of appreciation once in a while just like he does to her but thats it.

12-25-2012, 12:29 AM
 708 posts, read 875,862 times Reputation: 509
Quote:
 Originally Posted by RazorRob305 I pay on dates because I'm old fashioned, but my issue is when society makes women feel entitled to still hold onto the benefits of the dating world and expect guys to do all these things they used to do as they now have equal rights. I say if you are going to expect equal rights for one area of being a woman then expect it in all areas equally. As for me, I try to meet like minded people, you know old school women who are in relationships for the 'man' and not for the 'status' the man brings them such as most of the younger women are in it for these days. Note I said most, not each or all.
Eh, if you believe most younger women are like that, it would seem you are attracted to a narrow spectrum of women.

12-25-2012, 12:51 AM
 1,342 posts, read 2,155,709 times Reputation: 1037
This is dumb. Young childless women in large metropolitan areas make on average 8% more than men now. In a few cities they make as much as 20% more! Women absolutely should be paying for their fair share! They wanted equality and this means giving up the female privilege of men paying for dates.
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