Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 12-25-2012, 11:53 AM
 
12,997 posts, read 13,641,967 times
Reputation: 11192

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by filihok View Post
Isn't this the thing that is missing if men are expected to always pick up the tab?
I don't want to share financial responsibility with a date. I want her to look pretty, act nice and feel treated. If a woman came to a date looking like a mess and in a pissed off mood and acted bored and distracted, I'd think ... hmmm... she's amiss in her dating duties. If she came without her wallet though, I'd like ... so what? She doesn't need that anyways. I've got her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-25-2012, 11:54 AM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
13,285 posts, read 15,300,979 times
Reputation: 6658
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Of course there aren't only two extreme positions, I'm just trying to make it easy.

What if you're sitting at dinner, the bill comes and she does nothing? Do you ask her to pay? Do you send her a bill for her half? Do you pay, but be passive aggressive about it?

I'm honestly curious.
I pay.

Then we go out again.

If after a couple of dates she's made no effort to pay then I bring it up.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2012, 11:54 AM
 
1,454 posts, read 2,166,312 times
Reputation: 1072
Quote:
Originally Posted by filihok View Post
Why is dating an exception?
Your date isn't your friend but someone you can develop a romantic interest at some point.
Why would any of us be expected to pay for an invitation? That's a sure way not to get another date again. If ''No wait I want you to pay for my invitation'' is said right away, that would give me time to take a taxi and leave.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2012, 11:55 AM
 
12,997 posts, read 13,641,967 times
Reputation: 11192
Quote:
Originally Posted by filihok View Post
How about those socialized to think that women shouldn't work, shouldn't get educated, any number of things? It seems quite odd to some that a woman would want those things.

Aren't some traditions just bad?
Of course some traditions are bad. I happen to think the dating tradition where the man pays is nice. I personally wouldn't date a woman who wasn't interested in working or getting educated, but perhaps some man out there would.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2012, 11:55 AM
 
3,452 posts, read 4,617,882 times
Reputation: 4985
Most not all....but most of the women that have responded negatively to this thread have COMPLETELY MISSED THE POINT.

It is the GESTURE of offering to pay that is MOST IMPORTANT. 98% of men will NEVER ALLOW you to pay.

If you happen to be a woman that has is dating a guy you really WANT TO IMPRESS ......pay for the first date.

If everything is going great in your dating life than ignore this advice completely.

No respectable man wants to waste his time with a selfish unthoughtful woman.

NOT OFFERING to pay within the first three dates usually puts you in the selfish category.

Men please correct me if I am wrong.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2012, 11:56 AM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
13,285 posts, read 15,300,979 times
Reputation: 6658
Quote:
Originally Posted by Laychick View Post
Your date isn't your friend but someone you can develop a romantic interest at some point.
Why should a man pay for someone that he could develop a romantic interest in?
Why should a woman not pay for someone that she could develop a romantic interest in?

Quote:
Why would any of us be expected to pay for an invitation?
"Hey, we're going to a concert on Friday, you should come". Who is expected to buy the ticket?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2012, 11:57 AM
 
12,997 posts, read 13,641,967 times
Reputation: 11192
Quote:
Originally Posted by ATG5 View Post
Once we start dating and I know it's a legit thing, I'll pay for dates and stuff.

I'm talking about the first few ones.
Yeah, I've heard this. I guess some men feel burned by women just looking for a free meal? I'd like to think I could spot that and avoid it, but maybe not. I also think it's cool if a woman goes out on a date or two, the guy pays, she's just not that interested and that's that... it's also cool for a man to decide that. As a man who had this happen to me, I wouldn't think .. damn, I'm out $50 (or whatever the date costs). That thought wouldn't even occur to me. I guess I'm just not cheap.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2012, 11:57 AM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
13,285 posts, read 15,300,979 times
Reputation: 6658
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestCobb View Post
I happen to think the dating tradition where the man pays is nice.
Why?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2012, 11:59 AM
 
12,997 posts, read 13,641,967 times
Reputation: 11192
Quote:
Originally Posted by usamathman View Post
Most not all....but most of the women that have responded negatively to this thread have COMPLETELY MISSED THE POINT.

It is the GESTURE of offering to pay that is MOST IMPORTANT. 98% of men will NEVER ALLOW you to pay.

If you happen to be a woman that has a guy that you really want to impress......pay for the first date.

If everything is going great in your dating life than ignore this advice completely.

No respectable man wants to waste his time with a selfish unthoughtful woman.
Not OFFERING to pay for the first two or three dates usually puts you in the selfish category.

Men please correct me if I am wrong.
This wouldn't work for me at all. If I really liked the woman I would overlook her offer to pay for the first date, but I would interpret this as a lack of confidence and insecurity and be somewhat put off. I prefer women who confidently expect to be treated like women.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2012, 12:00 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
13,285 posts, read 15,300,979 times
Reputation: 6658
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestCobb View Post
This wouldn't work for me at all. If I really liked the woman I would overlook her offer to pay for the first date, but I would interpret this as a lack of confidence and insecurity
Why?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:43 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top