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My friends and I always joke that men who can't be bothered to open a door, or pay for dates, have no interest in getting laid.
the minute a woman starts paying for herself, she is allowing herself to be kept score on and to be taken advantage of and disrespected. I don't care how old fashioned and stupid that sounds. I'm living it right now after always dating guys who paid 100% of the time. Women are conditioned that men pay, we do things like cook for him and treat him in other non monetary ways. men are NOT conditioned that way if they are paid for. so the woman winds up paying for him and he does nothing! (not saying that's true for everyone..but in most cases it is). no way. I'll stick to my traditional ways of always being paid for.
My point is, regardless of income, the man always pays. If he can't afford to take the woman out, he gets creative and thoughtful if he wants to take her out. simple. as. that. I would honestly find the broke yet creative and thoughtful guy a lot more romantic than the guy who took me to fancy restaurants and dropped a ton of cash on me. blech. I've never liked arrogant rich guys anyways. reminds me of old sugar daddies.
Then wouldn't the solution to stop trying to condition folks this way? I mean the reason that tradition exist in the first place is because back then the man was sole provider and had higher income regardless so it wasn't a point to be argued about. So even now that a women could possibly earn more than a man she is dating he still has to pay for a date?
Then wouldn't the solution to stop trying to condition folks this way? I mean the reason that tradition exist in the first place is because back then the man was sole provider and had higher income regardless so it wasn't a point to be argued about. So even now that a women could possibly earn more than a man she is dating he still has to pay for a date?
How many times do I have to say this. Women only want "equality" or "traditional" roles, which ever one benefits them at the time.
How many times do I have to say this. Women only want "equality" or "traditional" roles, which ever one benefits them at the time.
What do you say to the men who insist that they would never allow a woman to pay for a date, then? It's not always the woman who expects the man to pay.
How many times do I have to say this. Women only want "equality" or "traditional" roles, which ever one benefits them at the time.
I would agree with you...but in most cases I've seen the woman takes on the traditional roles as well as the 'equal' roles. In my last relationship, I cooked, cleaned, shopped, planned menus AND paid my way (and most of his).
How is that fair?
If a man wants to pay, I'd be more than happy to take over the more traditional roles...unfortunately, I've come to the conclusion that most men expect women to be 'equal' AND 'traditional' at the same time.
I'm not even sure I posted in this or not and really don't feel like reading through all 79 pages to find out:
I had to literally buy everything for my ex: wine, vodka, cigarettes, meals, pretty much you name it, I had to buy it. If that wasn't enough, I had to cover a couple months of rent for her, and had to drive her everywhere because neither her nor her roomate had a car and I lived like 25 minutes away. Last straw with her was when she stole my credit card to go buy a bottle of vodka when I refused too.
I know that's on the far end of the spectrum, and there's thousands of women that split, but after her I'm not ready to jump back in a committment anytime soon which is why I started my xo thread: //www.city-data.com/forum/relat...ter-every.html
I'm not even sure I posted in this or not and really don't feel like reading through all 79 pages to find out:
I had to literally buy everything for my ex: wine, vodka, cigarettes, meals, pretty much you name it, I had to buy it. If that wasn't enough, I had to cover a couple months of rent for her, and had to drive her everywhere because neither her nor her roomate had a car and I lived like 25 minutes away. Last straw with her was when she stole my credit card to go buy a bottle of vodka when I refused too.
I know that's on the far end of the spectrum, and there's thousands of women that split, but after her I'm not ready to jump back in a committment anytime soon which is why I started my xo thread: //www.city-data.com/forum/relat...ter-every.html
Why didn't you dump her? That's your own fault for giving into it.
Just ended a "relationship" with a girl who ended it by texting me saying she needs a guy who pays for things the majority of the time. Keep in mind I paid for the first 4 dates, a weekend trip to the beach for two and this past weekend she paid for waffle house and then we split a meal at panera bread. a few hours later after panera she texts me saying she needs a guy who pays for the majority of the dates. i didn't realize that her paying for waffle house was too much for her haha. i'm a teacher and make a king's ransom obviously ;-). i also drove us everywhere and would buy her random things like cigarettes, wine, even cooked meals at her place i bought everything from the grocery store.
so ladies how long into a dating do you start paying?
I usually give the girl 3-4 dates, if she isn't willing to pay or work something out go on to the next one!
What do you say to the men who insist that they would never allow a woman to pay for a date, then? It's not always the woman who expects the man to pay.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey
I would agree with you...but in most cases I've seen the woman takes on the traditional roles as well as the 'equal' roles. In my last relationship, I cooked, cleaned, shopped, planned menus AND paid my way (and most of his).
How is that fair?
If a man wants to pay, I'd be more than happy to take over the more traditional roles...unfortunately, I've come to the conclusion that most men expect women to be 'equal' AND 'traditional' at the same time.
The solution for both scenarios is for the people who feel they are getting the bad end of the deal to stand up and not allow this to happen. Women should not be forced to play both equal and traditional roles, and men who insist on paying should be told with a smile that she prefers to pay her own way.
If both the man and the woman agree that him paying is the best arrangement for THEIR relationship, good for them. But people shouldn't bash those who prefer a more equal arrangement, or the "whoever invites, pays" arrangement.
I'm not even sure I posted in this or not and really don't feel like reading through all 79 pages to find out:
I had to literally buy everything for my ex: wine, vodka, cigarettes, meals, pretty much you name it, I had to buy it. If that wasn't enough, I had to cover a couple months of rent for her, and had to drive her everywhere because neither her nor her roomate had a car and I lived like 25 minutes away. Last straw with her was when she stole my credit card to go buy a bottle of vodka when I refused too.
I know that's on the far end of the spectrum, and there's thousands of women that split, but after her I'm not ready to jump back in a committment anytime soon which is why I started my xo thread: //www.city-data.com/forum/relat...ter-every.html
I notice a lot of "had to" statements in your post. You didn't have to, you chose to. Please understand the difference. If you don't like this, tell your future dates and girlfriends that you prefer an equal arrangement. Stand up for yourself if paying for everything isn't your preference.
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