Ladies, do you know why this is? (dating, women, young)
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I basically gave my e-mail to this girl, and she completely blew me off when I asked for hers.
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So basically this girl and I (both in early 20's) were dating for a few months, and according to her friends, she was really really into me... (I didn't understand why, since all I did was just stand there and act dull!) Unfortunately towards the end, though, there were some misunderstandings between us. I must've put her under stress somehow, but unfortunately we didn't really talk about it (that's something I'm willing to improve upon in the future.)
We both grew up and have separate friend circles in Germany, but spent college years in America. When school finished we each (separately) had plans to go on vacation in Berlin for the summer break.
After about a month of not contacting each other, she private messaged me through her myspace saying that we should hang out (she had recently arrived in Berlin). Apparently, she didn't know that I was only staying in Berlin for a short while (which was basically right when she got to Berlin herself). So I called her up (her number was on myspace) and told her that I was going bye-bye from Germany....
Over the phone was when she asked for my e-mail, and sounded really eager to keep in touch. She made it seem as if were were going to keep communicating that way, and even told me when she was going to come visit our university and friends in California again. I was more than happy to have the opportunity to keep in touch with her as friends, but wasn't sure at that point what her intentions were.....
I know this seems trivial, but it's really been driving me up a wall...... I gave her my e-mail through myspace, and when I asked for hers, she never responded. It's as if she made all these "plans" to keep in touch, and then decided to blow me off. I don't understand it! I've moved on for a while now, but I really would like to know why someone would do that?
Last edited by aspiring_natural; 07-19-2011 at 01:36 PM..
That does seem odd. There's no way to know for sure. Maybe she was going through a lonely phase and started emailing old friends? Then once she got settled in Berlin, maybe she met new friends and didn't need the online connection so much any more because real life was full. I don't know. I can see why it hurt your feelings. I'm sorry for that. I would write her off and assume she isn't interested. Long-distance email things have a low chance of working out as it is.
Well, it was really strange because this happened the very day after our phone call.......
And even so, after all that, why would you blow someone off? Could it be that she was fed up with trying to "make things work"? (the last month and half of us was kind of confusing to be honest). But to completely blow someone off just doesn't seem to make sense (there is no doubt that she is a very good person.... she is in our social group and we know all about her)
That's like saying "we're not even friends"
Last edited by aspiring_natural; 07-20-2011 at 09:00 AM..
I basically gave my e-mail to this girl, and she completely blew me off when I asked for hers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So basically this girl and I (both in early 20's) were dating for a few months, and according to her friends, she was really really into me... (I didn't understand why, since all I did was just stand there and act dull!) Unfortunately towards the end, though, there were some misunderstandings between us. I must've put her under stress somehow, but unfortunately we didn't really talk about it (that's something I'm willing to improve upon in the future.)
We both grew up and have separate friend circles in Germany, but spent college years in America. When school finished we each (separately) had plans to go on vacation in Berlin for the summer break.
After about a month of not contacting each other, she private messaged me through her myspace saying that we should hang out (she had recently arrived in Berlin). Apparently, she didn't know that I was only staying in Berlin for a short while (which was basically right when she got to Berlin herself). So I called her up (her number was on myspace) and told her that I was going bye-bye from Germany....
Over the phone was when she asked for my e-mail, and sounded really eager to keep in touch. She made it seem as if were were going to keep communicating that way, and even told me when she was going to come visit our university and friends in California again. I was more than happy to have the opportunity to keep in touch with her as friends, but wasn't sure at that point what her intentions were.....
I know this seems trivial, but it's really been driving me up a wall...... I gave her my e-mail through myspace, and when I asked for hers, she never responded. It's as if she made all these "plans" to keep in touch, and then decided to blow me off. I don't understand it! I've moved on for a while now, but I really would like to know why someone would do that?
Dude, a lot of women are always waiting for something better to come along. If you weren't her first option then you should push on and forget about her. She may have wanted to hang at that moment but women are emotional beings. Her feelings for you could have changed as soon as you two hung up the phones. That may be because she didn't have any strong feelings towards you anyway. If she was really interested she would have kept in contact.
Well, it was really strange because this happened the very day after our phone call.......
And even so, after all that, why would you blow someone off? Could it be that she was fed up with trying to "make things work"? (the last month and half of us was kind of confusing to be honest). But to completely blow someone off just doesn't seem to make sense (there is no doubt that she is a very good person.... she is in our social group and we know all about her)
You seem like a young man. Here's some advice. If God wanted you to understand women you would have been born one. As you mature you will realize the only sure thing about women is that you will never understand them so why even try. You can't rationalize emotions. Since women are emotional beings, you will never understand their reasoning. Women are either hot or cold, young lad. You will know if she's hot for you. If she seems unsure, don't stick around. You will be asking the questions you're asking now if you get the cold shoulder. It's not you, it's her.
Dude, a lot of women are always waiting for something better to come along. If you weren't her first option then you should push on and forget about her. She may have wanted to hang at that moment but women are emotional beings. Her feelings for you could have changed as soon as you two hung up the phones. That may be because she didn't have any strong feelings towards you anyway. If she was really interested she would have kept in contact.
Hmm that's strange... as she was the one who initiated things pretty much most of the time (including first, second, and third date).
And even at the beginning when my interest was kind of iffy towards her, she would always suggest doing "such and such" activities together. Her friends (who are also my friends) even used to tell me how much she "wanted me"
But I guess I see it like this... her blowing me off makes it seem like she doesn't even consider me as a friend (even though we're in the same social circle). Or as if she's saying "you can't be my friend", right?
Do you think there's a good chance that the impact of hearing on the phone that I would be going bye-bye from Germany without seeing her made her overreact (and if was an overreaction, it was super-overreaction, as she seemed really really eager by voice/tonality/words that she wanted to start keeping in touch)?
And then the blow-off, of course.......
Last edited by aspiring_natural; 07-20-2011 at 09:42 AM..
Do you think there's a good chance that the impact of hearing on the phone that I would be going bye-bye from Germany without seeing her made her overreact (and if was an overreaction, it was super-overreaction, as she seemed really really eager by voice/tonality/words that she wanted to start keeping in touch)?
There's no way to know for sure. I will say that the interpretation you're suggesting here doesn't seem particularly likely to me.
My guess is that she liked you back when you were dating, but that it turned out the relationship between you two was kind of a dud. You said yourself that you guys just sat around and you were "dull" and "iffy towards her." So, that wouldn't do much to get a girl's hopes up, which I'm sure you know.
So maybe when she was moving to Berlin, she was a little nervous about not knowing people in the city, maybe still a little interested in a possibility with you, so she asked for the email address. Then she found out you were moving, so then what was the point? Why would she want to invest the time to maintain an email friendship with someone who was "dull" and "iffy towards her" before when there were real live people around? My guess is that once she started meeting people, she decided not to pursue it. Emailing you to tell you that would have been awkward, so she just let her actions speak for themselves.
So, I wouldn't take it personally. Probably you two just didn't have what it takes to make it work, and you're in different cities anyway to boot. There are plenty of real live girls in your city that you could go out and meet, rather than worrying about the one that got away.
Hmm that's strange... as she was the one who initiated things pretty much most of the time (including first, second, and third date).
And even at the beginning when my interest was kind of iffy towards her, she would always suggest doing "such and such" activities together. Her friends (who are also my friends) even told me how much she "wanted me"
But I guess I see it like this... her blowing me off makes it seem like she doesn't even consider me as a friend (even though we're in the same social circle). Or as if she's saying "you can't be my friend", right?
Do you think there's a good chance that the impact of hearing on the phone that I would be going bye-bye from Germany without seeing her made her overreact (and if was an overreaction, it was super-overreaction, as she seemed really really eager by voice/tonality/words that she wanted to start keeping in touch)?
And then the blow-off, of course.......
You probably spent too much time being "iffy" then. Kinda like you snubbed her. Either way, don't obsess over it. You two may hook back up, you may not.
My guess is that she liked you back when you were dating, but that it turned out the relationship between you two was kind of a dud. You said yourself that you guys just sat around and you were "dull" and "iffy towards her." So, that wouldn't do much to get a girl's hopes up, which I'm sure you know.
Lol I'm sorry, I was actually being sarcastic about the "just sitting around and being dull" part when I said that. And when I stopped being iffy toward her, we began to have a really good time. So I think you kind of have the wrong picture here (by my mistake).
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So maybe when she was moving to Berlin, she was a little nervous about not knowing people in the city, maybe still a little interested in a possibility with you, so she asked for the email address. Then she found out you were moving, so then what was the point? Why would she want to invest the time to maintain an email friendship with someone who was "dull" and "iffy towards her" before when there were real live people around? My guess is that once she started meeting people, she decided not to pursue it. Emailing you to tell you that would have been awkward, so she just let her actions speak for themselves.
Nah, she already had a good circle of friends, family, brothers&sisters, cousins, etc there in Berlin to begin with. So I really really don't think she had a problem with loneliness, or lack of social support. And she asked me for e-mail, and made it sound like she was making all these "plans" for communicating with each other, after I had told her I was leaving. This is why I suspect she was having a super-overreaction, but only for the moment (I understand it that women are really emotional beings...?). And I do know that she keeps in touch this way with other male&female friends she left here.
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So, I wouldn't take it personally. Probably you two just didn't have what it takes to make it work, and you're in different cities anyway to boot. There are plenty of real live girls in your city that you could go out and meet, rather than worrying about the one that got away.
Yeah, you're probably right about this though.....
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