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Old 07-18-2011, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
4,739 posts, read 8,349,515 times
Reputation: 2979

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In no way can dating or living together or getting married again match doing it in your teens or early twenties. The baggage changes everything. I'm not saying it can't be good, great, better than it ever has been or at worst a good learning experience.
I celebrated my first year with my girlfriend yesterday, I still think shes a great lady and always will. I'm not driving down a second chance, everyone that wants one deserves one.
My point with this post is that with baggage and knowledge we didn't have before our first serious relationship comes compromise in our second or third or who's counting relationship.
It will never be new again and the truth is as happy as I am with her I have visions of building a cabin in the woods and vanishing.
I'm not really going anywhere, I'm a lifer, I know that. but I wished I could have gotten it right the first time.
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Old 07-18-2011, 03:51 PM
 
1,446 posts, read 3,541,206 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rcm58 View Post
In no way can dating or living together or getting married again match doing it in your teens or early twenties. The baggage changes everything. I'm not saying it can't be good, great, better than it ever has been or at worst a good learning experience.
I celebrated my first year with my girlfriend yesterday, I still think shes a great lady and always will. I'm not driving down a second chance, everyone that wants one deserves one.
My point with this post is that with baggage and knowledge we didn't have before our first serious relationship comes compromise in our second or third or who's counting relationship.
It will never be new again and the truth is as happy as I am with her I have visions of building a cabin in the woods and vanishing.
I'm not really going anywhere, I'm a lifer, I know that. but I wished I could have gotten it right the first time.

It can if you were never married or dating your teens or early twenties.
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Old 07-18-2011, 03:53 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
4,739 posts, read 8,349,515 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Java378 View Post
It can if you were never married or dating your teens or early twenties.
Ok but who doesn't, i've only known one women that didn't until her late 30's, and wow she was weird
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Old 07-18-2011, 04:07 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
4,739 posts, read 8,349,515 times
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What would be a reason for someone not to date or get serious in their teens or twenties.
College
Military
If i'm digging I could say sick parents
It can't be picky because picky people date they just don't stay long
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Old 07-18-2011, 04:12 PM
 
1,446 posts, read 3,541,206 times
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Originally Posted by Rcm58 View Post
Ok but who doesn't, i've only known one women that didn't until her late 30's, and wow she was weird

Plenty of people don't.

How about College and sick parents?

I guess job hunting never counts. Don't need a job to date, huh?
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Old 07-18-2011, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 2,673,781 times
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I think I know what you're trying to say but because my early experiences weren't all that great, I don't look back on them wistfully.

We can only move forward and bring with us the lessons we've learned. I remarried the year I turned 50 and I have to tell you, it's the most genuine, loving relationship I've ever had. I don't miss anything.

If you are feeling that something is missing, maybe she isn't the right person for you? Why do you describe yourself as "lifer" if your heart is not in it? It sounds like you are just going through the motions which makes me feel sorry for your girlfriend.
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Old 07-18-2011, 04:17 PM
 
2,112 posts, read 2,686,771 times
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The baggage may change everything, but the wisdom gained at that stage is priceless. IMO.
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Old 07-18-2011, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
4,739 posts, read 8,349,515 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Java378 View Post
Plenty of people don't.

How about College and sick parents?

I guess job hunting never counts. Don't need a job to date, huh?
I'm really not trying to pick a fight, i dont understand. if I had no job I washed cars, mowed lawns, fixed something
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Old 07-18-2011, 04:27 PM
 
1,446 posts, read 3,541,206 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rcm58 View Post
I'm really not trying to pick a fight, i dont understand. if I had no job I washed cars, mowed lawns, fixed something

Fine, fine.

All I'm saying is some people just date later and are as fresh as daisies as when you dated earlier in life.

Think of it as riding a bike for the first time, but later in life.
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Old 07-18-2011, 04:31 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 87,908,270 times
Reputation: 22814
I get your drift and I agree. Unfortunately, you can't turn the clock back.
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