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Old 08-10-2007, 02:33 PM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
8,882 posts, read 20,254,083 times
Reputation: 5619

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Ladies, would you get involved with or marry a: cop, doctor, fireman, traveling businessman, OTR truck driver, lawyer or even a guy that is in the military?
Police Officer and Fireman: can be a very "high-risk" and dangerous job.
Traveling Businessman: gone a lot
Doctor (some): on call 24 hours a day
OTR Truck Driver: gone a lot
Lawyer: gone a lot (perhaps)
Military Person: gone a lot (depending)
Just what am I getting at? These are all good paying jobs, but why is the divorce rate so high in them? Do ladies who marry men in these careers know that these jobs are NOT necessarily the 8AM-5PM Monday-Friday type of jobs????
I was in the Navy at one time and I NEVER got married and didn't even have a girlfriend until just before I got out. I actually seen one sailor "jump ship" (into the water) by the pier because his wife was in tears on the pier saying "goodbye" to her husband who was going on a 6 month cruise overseas. He wound up in the Brig, so they ended up apart anyway.
If there are any women (or even men) in the Forum that are married (or involved) with a person that is listed above, please tell us how you keep your marriage going. If you "were" married to one of the above, tell us why you are no longer married to that person.......because of the type of job they had???
I work days only with weekend off.....love it that way. My wife works days only, but does work some overtime hours in the beginning of each month (Close) as an Accountant. She also has all weekends off. Except for her overtime hours, we love the work hours we have.
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Old 08-10-2007, 02:38 PM
 
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I would marry any of those that you mentioned. They are noble professions and I would be proud to call them my husband.
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Old 08-10-2007, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, CA
21 posts, read 73,403 times
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My hubby is a businessman and is gone at least once a week per month, I'm fine with it. A bit of time apart can be good. And sometimes I go on trips with him fully paid, first class . I don't know how I'd feel if I had kids though!
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Old 08-10-2007, 03:43 PM
 
4,271 posts, read 15,215,069 times
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My husband works in the nuclear industry, which is pretty stressful and long hours. For us, it is easy right now b'c I'm not working and we don't have kids but I'm going back to school this fall and I'm definitely concerned about spending enough time together. We were in a 2 yr long distance relationship before marriage so we started on "hard times". We know that things can't be worse than when we were doing the long distance thing.

You just gotta find a way to make it work I guess. I especially admire families that can keep it together when one of the spouse is in a "high risk" job like you mentioned. It can't be easy. Some relationships are strong enough to survive while others just can't hack it. I don't mean to sound harsh but every marriage is going to have obstacles. Even if you were in a "low risk" job, you could be hit by a car or any number of other things can kill or injure you. We take a risk everyday when we wake up, get out of bed and leave the house so couples, IMO, who couldn't make it work just didn't try hard enough. Having a "high risk" job shouldn't be an excuse for divorce; it should bring you closer together, IMO.
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Old 08-10-2007, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
8,882 posts, read 20,254,083 times
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Yes, once you get older (late 30's up) and have kids, you may very well change your mind about hubby being gone like that. However, there are a lot of women out there that don't really care about hubby being gone a lot or even some. Being apart can be good.....if it really doesn't bother you. For us, we love being together, except of course during the week when we are both at work. But, then again, we are most likely much older than you and your hubby.....we are 58/59 yrs old.


Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyM View Post
My hubby is a businessman and is gone at least once a week per month, I'm fine with it. A bit of time apart can be good. And sometimes I go on trips with him fully paid, first class . I don't know how I'd feel if I had kids though!
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Old 08-10-2007, 04:03 PM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
8,882 posts, read 20,254,083 times
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From this part of your reply, I will say this: While married to my first wife years ago, I was working as an ambulance driver/EMT. I had to work 24 hr shifts and she knew that when we first got together. Unfortunately, she just couldn't "hack" sleeping along on those nights that I worked and the marriage ended. She simply said to me, "enough, I just don't want this anymore". Divorce and that was the end.
As far as "not trying hard enough to work it out" (your below statement), some jobs, like being a Police Officer or Fireman and having to kill someone (Officer) or bring a dead body out of a burning building (Fireman) can affect your marriage. As with any job, if something bad happens on the job, it "can" affect the homelife sometimes. It takes a lot of understanding, etc. to be able to marry a person in a "high-risk"/dangerous job.


Quote:
Originally Posted by foma View Post
You just gotta find a way to make it work I guess. I especially admire families that can keep it together when one of the spouse is in a "high risk" job like you mentioned. It can't be easy. Some relationships are strong enough to survive while others just can't hack it. I don't mean to sound harsh but every marriage is going to have obstacles. Even if you were in a "low risk" job, you could be hit by a car or any number of other things can kill or injure you. We take a risk everyday when we wake up, get out of bed and leave the house so couples, IMO, who couldn't make it work just didn't try hard enough. Having a "high risk" job shouldn't be an excuse for divorce; it should bring you closer together, IMO.
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Old 08-10-2007, 04:16 PM
 
4,271 posts, read 15,215,069 times
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Loveboating - You are absolutely right. What I said probably wasn't worded very well. Your job can definitely affect your homelife, especially being a fireman, cop, EMT etc. I can't imagine what it must be like to be married to someone in that kind of career - it really does take a lot of patience and understanding. Some couples can thrive while others will falter. I have the utmost respect for these types of families b'c nobody has the right to judge or comment on what their family life must be like unless you have personal experience. I constantly worry about my husband being in the nuclear industry even if the concern is mainly just from the word "nuclear". The industry is actually pretty safe nowadays. *knock on wood*

Anyway, I hope you didn't misconstrue anthing I said. I probably did sound insensitive but I was having trouble conveying what I meant!!
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Old 08-10-2007, 04:21 PM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
8,882 posts, read 20,254,083 times
Reputation: 5619
Another thought: would you marry (or be involved with) a Bartender? What about a musician in a band that plays at a nightclub on weekend nights? What if you worked an 8-5 type job, would you marry a man that worked the night shift (4PM to midnight or midnight to 7AM)? I know that when my wife spent a week in the hospital for a major surgery, I had a very hard time sleeping at night (because she was with me) and she felt the same way when I was in the hospital for 3 days for a surgery. And, when she has to work the overtime in Accounting (Month-End-Close) and doesn't get home until 11PM or so, I just don't sleep very well at all and am awake when she does get home. We absolutely love being together and it sure makes our marriage work!!
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Old 08-10-2007, 05:02 PM
 
194 posts, read 1,026,457 times
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I'm married to a military man. He is gone a lot and right now he's on his second 15 month deployment. It's very hard, especially in the beginning but you get used to it after a while. We make sure that we can talk every day.....one way or another. Trust is very improtantant. You hear everywhere that this and this person cheated with this and that person. Good thing is that we have God in our lives.
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Old 08-10-2007, 06:48 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
14,229 posts, read 29,906,896 times
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Interesting you addressed this to women married to men who do this type of work. I'm female and I am the one with the strange job. I work odd hours and sometimes I'm out of town for 5 or 6 weeks at a time.

Honestly, I love it. No yard work, housework, cooking, or groceries to worry about. I can do what I want and come and go as I please. For me, it's almost like being on vacation. And let's not forget Happy Hour at the hotel. If it fits in H's schedule, sometimes he joins me or flys out for the weekend but most of the time, I am on my own. I have my own remote control!

It can work out OK or be death to a marriage. It forces both parties to clean the toilets and cook. We both have to be responsible at work and at home. H would probably love it if I was at home all the time and worked regular hours. But we also both realize we would have to get by with a lot less money. And so far, we like the money. Now when I'm home, I always do my share or more. But when I'm gone, it's H's problem!
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