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We're opposites because you fear about your future of being alone, and I fear that I'll look back on my past and realize I didn't live life to the fullest in my early 20s. So I deal with it by living life to the fullest.
I do a lot of living for what little means I have, but there comes a time when so much time has gone by since you've had a relationship, that the loneliness starts to linger around, no matter what you do. Its hard to explain, but I really do a lot with my life and I guess its not enough anymore.
I don't have a lot of your experience Mir...unfortunately I didn't spend a lot of time being single in my life and notice, I have said unfortunately. Although I have no regrets and absolutely love my family, I will always be lacking that "alone and me only selfish time" of my life...the time when you can just go off by yourself, don't ask anyone, don't confirm with anyone, just do your own thing. This is the time for you to enjoy your life, why rush into a relationship, why push it? I understand your fears and uncertainty and I understand your desire to be loved and have a partner in life. I am not going to lie, it is wonderful...however, I also think that being single could be wonderful too and I say it as outsider.
You are attractive and intelligent with lots of things going for you, take advantage of that freedom.
the thing is, you can always find time for yourself, especially when there are no kids yet which is why that is never a concern for me. I like having time to myself sometimes, but not all the freakin time. I'm not trying to push meeting someone special, I'm just upset that after all this time, its not even close to happening, all while everyone I know meets someone special super easily. The only good thing about being single I find, is not having to worry about someone else when I just want to be left alone but that's not that great of a perk to me anyways. Thanks for the compliment though. This "freedom" has stopped being advantageous for a long time unfortunately. I would love your life, actually I would kill for your life.
Just use prostitutes and if you are a woman and single. Loose weight or lower your standards. That is all you have to do.
haha seriously?? I had no idea that just cause a woman is attractive, she suddenly becomes "taken". I get told all the time that I'm attractive (I don't think I am, but I take care of myself, know how to dress and am thin, with great boobs ) and the biggest problem I have is men throwing themselves at me..it really creeps me out. I just want someone who can control his urges while I'm trying to get to know him. Men throwing themselves at me has only gotten worse over the years, which I find ironic..I thought I was supposed to be getting "less attractive" at 25 years old. I guess I am living proof that "attractive" doesn't always equate to "taken". My old roommate is in the same boat as me and she's 10 times hotter than I am, but at least she lives in LA where everyone is single and she can actually enjoy her solitude. No, I don't want to live there, I already did and hated it.
the thing is, you can always find time for yourself, especially when there are no kids yet which is why that is never a concern for me. I like having time to myself sometimes, but not all the freakin time. I'm not trying to push meeting someone special, I'm just upset that after all this time, its not even close to happening, all while everyone I know meets someone special super easily. The only good thing about being single I find, is not having to worry about someone else when I just want to be left alone but that's not that great of a perk to me anyways. Thanks for the compliment though. This "freedom" has stopped being advantageous for a long time unfortunately. I would love your life, actually I would kill for your life.
Thank you Mir...I do love my life, but trust me, it's not always sunshine and roses. There were a lot of hardships in between the good times and raising a kid, as joyous as it is could also be draining. It's not just about not finding time for yourself, that I don't have a problem with that, but it's about not having complete freedom over your own decisions and over your own life, you have to consult with your partner and consider his feelings as well as what is best for your child. At the end of the day, my family makes it worth it, but how many "seemingly successful" couples could say the same? YOU have that opportunity now.
The thing is, you really don't know what is going on behind closed doors in your friend's relationships. There could be ecstasy or there could be tears and you don't even know it. Just because they have already found someone doesn't automatically mean that they are happier or better off than you.
I also agree with Sierra that this culture and this country's ideas of meeting new people don't make it easy to meet someone special or establish relationships. Striking up a conversation in random place with a stranger is considered "creepy" and inappropriate, meantime, in other countries is just a natural thing.
Anyway, clearly I'm rambling...and I'm not even sure if any of it makes sense to you...or makes any difference...
This "freedom" has stopped being advantageous for a long time unfortunately. I would love your life, actually I would kill for your life.
Don't be so sure... You've never been on the other side of the barricade.
Somebody I know just left a very controlling husband. She's talking about being happy to do such simple things as buy, eat, and cook what she wants!!! It sounds like she's getting out of prison! And that's because it WAS! He literally never even let her shop for groceries alone and they only bought what he decided to!
Don't be so sure... You've never been on the other side of the barricade.
Somebody I know just left a very controlling husband. She's talking about being happy to do such simple things as buy, eat, and cook what she wants!!! It sounds like she's getting out of prison! And that's because it WAS! He literally never even let her shop for groceries alone and they only bought what he decided to!
Ugh...now ask yourself Mir if you would rather be someone like that or would you rather be alone?
Ugh...now ask yourself Mir if you would rather be someone like that or would you rather be alone?
well of course I'd rather be alone than be in that situation, but I"m not talking about meeting a controlling husband. I'm talking about meeting someone that treats me with respect and cares. That's why I'm single..I can have one of those control freaks right now if I wanted, the good man I described, that I'm attracted to in some way, that's hard to find, hence why I'm in this boat.
well of course I'd rather be alone than be in that situation, but I"m not talking about meeting a controlling husband. I'm talking about meeting someone that treats me with respect and cares. That's why I'm single..I can have one of those control freaks right now if I wanted, the good man I described, that I'm attracted to in some way, that's hard to find, hence why I'm in this boat.
Well...if it makes any sense, no matter how wonderful a man is, when you are in a relationship, there will be always be some kind of control, even if it's very mild, from both sides. It's nearly impossible to have a relationship when your partner gives you an absolute, complete and utter freedom to do absolutely anything you want. Your freedom is in your own hands now, until you find someone special, you should enjoy it. I guess that's what I'm trying to get across, perhaps unsuccessfully.
Well...if it makes any sense, no matter how wonderful a man is, when you are in a relationship, there will be always be some kind of control, even if it's very mild, from both sides. It's nearly impossible to have a relationship when your partner gives you an absolute, complete and utter freedom to do absolutely anything you want. Your freedom is in your own hands now, until you find someone special, you should enjoy it. I guess that's what I'm trying to get across, perhaps unsuccessfully.
Well...if it makes any sense, no matter how wonderful a man is, when you are in a relationship, there will be always be some kind of control, even if it's very mild, from both sides. It's nearly impossible to have a relationship when your partner gives you an absolute, complete and utter freedom to do absolutely anything you want. Your freedom is in your own hands now, until you find someone special, you should enjoy it. I guess that's what I'm trying to get across, perhaps unsuccessfully.
oh I understand the control thing..I've been in relationships before . I'm just not enjoying this "freedom". I've had it most of my life and its nothing that special anymore. Its great right after a relationship and you "hate" men, but not this long, lol. that little bit of "control" in a healthy relationship would not bother me and it never did.
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) and the biggest problem I have is men throwing themselves at me..it really creeps me out. I just want someone who can control his urges while I'm trying to get to know him. Men throwing themselves at me has only gotten worse over the years, which I find ironic..I thought I was supposed to be getting "less attractive" at 25 years old. I guess I am living proof that "attractive" doesn't always equate to "taken". My old roommate is in the same boat as me and she's 10 times hotter than I am, but at least she lives in LA where everyone is single and she can actually enjoy her solitude. No, I don't want to live there, I already did and hated it.
