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We may request it once or twice in a life time and let it alone..A woman demands it "and everything else" every other day for life...there is the difference.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sophiasmommy
A man marries a woman, supposedly professing his love for her. Immediately right after the nuptials however, he tells her that she needs to change, mentioning his displeasure with her weight, hair color, hair style, fashion sense, or lack thereof, etc. He tells all of his friends that he loves his wife, but never fails to mention all of the changes that he wants her to make in order for her to be a better wife. Does this man love his wife?
This seems more like he bought a car than married a woman he loves. I remember when I bought my first car I wanted to make a lot of changes to it, and I told my boys what a great value I got.
I know when getting married I better be sure I can live with the girl "as-is."
He may well be in love with her according to what he knows about love which doesn't necessarily correlate with everyone else's experiences and definition. He also has a horribly controlling personality. It's odd that he wouldn't have demonstrated any of this before the two of them were married but maybe she's a bit dense and didn't pick up on the signals. If she's putting up with it then that's her problem.
Mother is who supposed to improve her kids. How can you improve an adult? Hell, it's impossible! waste of time. If you love a person, you accept him/her the way he/she is. No exceptions.
A man marries a woman, supposedly professing his love for her. Immediately right after the nuptials however, he tells her that she needs to change, mentioning his displeasure with her weight, hair color, hair style, fashion sense, or lack thereof, etc. He tells all of his friends that he loves his wife,
but never fails to mention all of the changes that he wants her to make in order for her to be a better wife. Does this man love his wife?
The changes mentioned are superficial, are the choice of words "better wife" his or hers?
I agree with Driller1,
My wife insisted that i get a better job, always pushing me up the ladder, always insisting i could do better at my profession. Turns out she was/is right. I am now 2nd from the top in my field after starting from the bottom and working my way up for 23 years. IN just 2 short years i will make it to the top of my profession at the rate I am going. she did the right thing, pushing me to make more money. when we retire, we won't have to worry.
I agree with Driller1,
My wife insisted that i get a better job, always pushing me up the ladder, always insisting i could do better at my profession. Turns out she was/is right. I am now 2nd from the top in my field after starting from the bottom and working my way up for 23 years. IN just 2 short years i will make it to the top of my profession at the rate I am going. she did the right thing, pushing me to make more money. when we retire, we won't have to worry.
Good for you also. However, there is a difference in pushing someone to be better and another one to nag about who you are as a person so you become what the spouse wants. In many cases when a couple were dating both tend to overlook things on the other person. Once they get married, mostly the women, start to change the man on those things.
A case I believe may be somewhat extreme was with friend of mine but still addresses the point. When he was dating he used to be in the local baseball league. His future wife used to go with him to all the games. She was there with him in anything related to baseball. Never complained about his baseball interests. Then they got married. Still during the honeymoon she told him baseball was over for him. She wanted him to quit the league. He basically told her he was married to baseball before he married her and he was not going to leave the league.
On another example another friend he right away told his girlfriend he was already married to someone else and that was to the U.S. Army. He told her that when the Army told him he had to go places he had to go and she had no say so. At times he had to go places and she would not know where and for how long (he was a Special Forces Soldier). She agreed and he stayed in the Army 28 years and retired and they are still married. She has admitted there were rough times while he was still in the Army. He had committed himself to the Army and she knew and married him knowing what to expect.
Other ladies I have seen dating Soldiers and once they get married demand they leave the Army whereas other wives do support their careers and even, like your wife, pushed them to do all the things they needed to do to get promoted which meant a better income. Many wives came to me asking questions what they needed to do to push and help their husband get promoted sooner and go up rank structure.
People have their own views of how to live life and it is unfair to demand they change them. Example: If a couple is dating and the guy is a slob and the girl knows and keeps dating then suddenly demands he stop being a slob. To me it is not fair if she demands once they are married, she knew how he was! Nothing wrong with encouraging but to later treat him badly because of that is not fair because she know how he was.
Another one I see often. Many women see a guy who is very successful. May have business or doing going in a company. She know he is working hard and long hours. Later they get married and know she cries because he does not pay attention to her! Well, did she not see how he was?!
Those are the things that later lead to separations. Many dream he will change, work less hours for her, stop playing ball, etc. That is what I mean by women, most of the time, being the ones having the delusion that they will change the guy.
Actually, I believe many women today have lost that skill of influence on man that many women used to have in the past. Many women in the past were like my wife says can be. She says that the man may be the head of the house but the woman is the neck the moves the head around. It is an art and a skill many women still do use and are very effective at it. They CAN change a man but with skill. Those that nag and demand tend to mess it up even worst, take care.
A man marries a woman, supposedly professing his love for her. Immediately right after the nuptials however, he tells her that she needs to change, mentioning his displeasure with her weight, hair color, hair style, fashion sense, or lack thereof, etc. He tells all of his friends that he loves his wife, but never fails to mention all of the changes that he wants her to make in order for her to be a better wife. Does this man love his wife?
Better question, mom.
Does this wife love her husband?
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