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I am asking this as a serious question. In my experence I have had to tell women I am not interested in them. I am not gay, I'm unavailable. I have been for a long time because I'm married. I have a successful career and a good amount of money. Even though I wear a wedding ring and have outright told some women i am not interested, I have still been pursued. I had women from work come to my house when they knew my wife was not there. In fact the woman across the street came over right after my wife left for work. Am I doing something wrong? are there that many desprate women in the world? I am a nice guy, (at least I think I am), and I am true to my wife. 38 years true. I wonder why this kind of stuff happens. Do they think I'll break and leave my wife and life behind for them. Not likely....
There must be more to it than that. I'm "pre-selected" too, but don't get those kinds of advances. The OP must be richer or more handsome than me! Or maybe it's because I mostly work with other guys.
JustJulia;
Thank you for being honest. I don't understand it at all. when I was young...women acted like I didn't exist. Now it's frequently that I have to come right out and tell them I'm not intrested. I usually will twist my wedding band so they can see it or tap it on the table, etc. Some just don't get it, they actually thinK I'd go for them, give up eveything I worked so hard for and run off with them.
Don't get me wrong either....these are good looking women. It is a tempting situation.
I never understood that. How could anybody be afraid to succeed? How does that work?
Success in a relationship sense means that they might have to be open and vulnerable, step up, be responsible or accountable to another person, maybe not always get to do whatever they want whatever they want. Failure ensures that nothing changes, so it's easier.
IF the female's childhood is greatly hampered by an EMOTIONALLY remote & unavailable dad, that can later reappear in her life...ie (continually) trying to gain the male/father's attention and love. When it does not work, like with your case, then that is "confirmation" of her past attempts with real dad....and she then keeps trying with other men....
And by any means possible, based on how severe the family history is...**not all young/old women who might approach you understand exactly why they do so. In fact, likely very few.
The reason I know this: went through it myself, many many years ago.
I never understood that. How could anybody be afraid to succeed? How does that work?
My answer was overly simplistic, sorry. But some people don't feel that they deserve to be happy, so they only pursue people who make them miserable. It's not a conscious choice, like, "Oooh, I bet that one will treat me like dirt and break my heart," but they are nonetheless drawn to that kind of person, often due to childhood abuse or how their parents treated one another. They may pursue married or unattainable people because they grew up in a broken family and don't know what long-term fidelity feels like or even that it's a respectable goal. They only know failure, so they seek failure.
Some people are only drawn to that which they cannot have, including unavailable mates. I think if a woman who pursues married men manages to pry one away from his wife, she will generally lose all respect for him and no longer want her prize.
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