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What is so bad about being a person who likes to keep things to themselves? Alot of people don't fully trust me because of it and all ways think I'm shady and up to something even when I'm not. What is so wrong with someone who wants to keep their life private and doesn't want to be vulnerable to others?
What is so bad about being a person who likes to keep things to themselves? Alot of people don't fully trust me because of it and all ways think I'm shady and up to something even when I'm not. What is so wrong with someone who wants to keep their life private and doesn't want to be vulnerable to others?
I have a friend who behaves the same way as you. He has very few friends (he says I'm the only long-term, consistent friend he has), because he won't let anyone inside his defenses. It took him a very long time to open up much to me, and there is still a great deal I don't know.
Especially when it comes to relationships, you have to let yourself be vulnerable and have trust, or you probably won't have any relationships.
Anyway, secretive people come across as paranoid and untrusting, and as such don't seem trustworthy to most people. They can't gauge what kind of person you are and will avoid you because of that.
I agree. NO one should feel that they need to tell there entire life to anyone.
Its not being secrative its about being private. Like I dont put a lot of photos on FB and people are asking why because I am a private person and do not like to share to much of my self on line.
It's okay to be private and there's a time where you will reveal a part of yourself to people. There's nothing wrong with it. It just stunt your personal growth IMO.
What is so bad about being a person who likes to keep things to themselves? Alot of people don't fully trust me because of it and all ways think I'm shady and up to something even when I'm not. What is so wrong with someone who wants to keep their life private and doesn't want to be vulnerable to others?
There's nothing wrong with it, as long as you're okay with other people's natural response to that sort of behavior. Like it or not, in order to develop emotional intimacy with people (romantic or friendship wise), you have to be willing to let them in. If you're not willing to do that, people will likely just ignore you, leave you alone, not want to form friendships. And that's fine if it works for you, but if you feel you don't have enough friends or a romantic partner, you may need to change your tactics.
What is so bad about being a person who likes to keep things to themselves? Alot of people don't fully trust me because of it and all ways think I'm shady and up to something even when I'm not. What is so wrong with someone who wants to keep their life private and doesn't want to be vulnerable to others?
People with nothing to hide, hide nothing
Sure, it's fine to be more reserved and private, but it you are unable to share your life and thoughts with the people who actually mean a lot to you, then you will come off seeming too guarded and therefore not trustworthy.
People feel less connected to you when you don't allow a certain amount of intimacy to develop by sharing confidences with one another.
I suggest you try to do a better job of letting people into your life - keeping your own company only will eventually run those that care off and you'll end up a lonely person.
What is so bad about being a person who likes to keep things to themselves? Alot of people don't fully trust me because of it and all ways think I'm shady and up to something even when I'm not. What is so wrong with someone who wants to keep their life private and doesn't want to be vulnerable to others?
totally agree! Whats wrong with being private person - it just seems people these days cannot mind their own business.
For example - I put a password on my PC - and relatives who were in my house were insistent on they wanted my password - but I gave them a guest account.
Not that I have anything to hide, or I was looking porn! - but I dont like people picking through all my internet history, forum posts, perhaps emails, private files etc - I don't want them to know everything about me!
Now they think I am dodgy, and have something to hide!
It's okay to be private and there's a time where you will reveal a part of yourself to people. There's nothing wrong with it. It just stunt your personal growth IMO.
If one is in a relationship, They will have to open up somewhat to be successful. This does not mean everything. however. We many have a traumatic event in our lives that we keep buried, And either cannot or will not share. Time does heal all wounds, though their may be a scar. Choosing to keep that scar hidden is an individual right that would take 100% unconditional trust to reveal.
Not everyone is right to be in your life, so it's important to screen EVERYONE. If they can't handle doses of you, they are not worthy of the whole essence that is YOU. You're not supposed to be vulnerable to every Tom, Dick and Harry because some people will use that against you. A lot of people will disappoint you so why be vulnerable to those that aren't in it for the long haul? That's stupid and is a large reason why most people get hurt because they don't understand the concept of selective revelation; which is revealing about yourself what YOU want people to know about you. That which you don't reveal, they don't have the right to question you about it. If people can't get to know you on YOUR terms, they aren't the right people you want in your life. I'm very much like this.
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secretive people come across as paranoid and untrusting, and as such don't seem trustworthy to most people. They can't gauge what kind of person you are and will avoid you because of that.
It's none of THEIR (most people) business what kind of person you are. These are the kind of people I would tell to stick it where the sun don't shine Secretive people aren't necessarily secretive per se, they're smart enough not to broadcast their business to everyone.
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People with nothing to hide, hide nothing
People who broadcast their business to everyone are more apt to being conned in some way. That's why identity theft is so big because most people don't know how to keep their business to themselves.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with protecting yourself. If you constantly expose yourself to more hurt and more pain then it would drive you crazy.
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