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Conflict seems to be the norm in human relationships, for many different reasons. Why is it so hard for people to just get along? How many of you (be honest) generally get along with friends, family.etc without major fighting breaking out? I don't mean shying away from dealing with the situation, but just creating more needless friction which I see/hear about all the time.
I stopped fighting with people a long time ago. If I get annoyed, I say I'm annoyed and why. If a relationship proves to be more aggravation and negativity than it's worth, I end it. That goes for family and friends as well as for romantic partners.
Conflict seems to be the norm in human relationships, for many different reasons. Why is it so hard for people to just get along? How many of you (be honest) generally get along with friends, family.etc without major fighting breaking out? I don't mean shying away from dealing with the situation, but just creating more needless friction which I see/hear about all the time.
What is your definition of major fighting? Jerry Springer type of stuff? I think most of us don't have that in our lives. Sure, there are times when you don't get along with your family, etc. but you make-up and move on.
It's not the "norm". It's the norm with certain people.
Forums like this are brimming with relationship conflicts, and usually a handful of "frequent flyers" who are always on the brink of disaster with every person that they meet. Or at least that's how it's portrayed here.
Well...what exactly do you mean by "conflict?" I'm including arguments over the remote in this one. If you're wondering whether "I opened the car door and pushed him out onto the freeway with my foot while I was driving" is a normal type of conflict, then no, it isn't.
Conflict is normal. Trying to dismiss it as unnatural and something negative makes it a very difficult emotion/process/hurdle to deal with. People associate conflict with drama and it shouldn't. Conflict happens when you are in the grocery store, in the workplace, at family reunions, or around the dinner table. The real problem is that most people don't know how to deal constructively with conflict so they either implode or explode depending on their own coping mechanism.
Here's an example of what *I* was thinking in the term "conflict." This morning, my husband wanted an orgasm. I didn't. That was a conflict. We resolved it.
Again...if what's meant by conflict in this thread is big huge drama stuff...then no...I don't believe it's normal.
I DO believe tiny conflicts crop up here, there and everywhere in relationships where people are together for significant periods of time. It's how we resolve them, and whether we're willing to, that makes or breaks a relationship.
One partner wants something that involves the other partner's cooperation.
The other partner doesn't want to do that specific thing.
An alternative is suggested and is happily accepted. ANYthing that has one partner wanting one thing and the other partner wanting another is, technically, conflict. No, it's not drama-filled, gut-wrenching, sobbing on the bathroom floor conflict. But conflict nonetheless. Conflict is a very basic, very continuous thing where social species are concerned. We resolve tiny conflicts all day long (if we don't like drama) and hardly even notice that there was a potential conflict there.
For example, rather than offering my alternative, I could have said, "What am I, a piece of meat? Romance me and give me flowers and dinner and THEN we'll do it!" or "I'm the one who always gets messy, so is this fair?" or whine whine whinge.
Nope, didn't say that. Conflict doesn't mean drama in their literal meanings. They only routinely mean the same thing to people who require that drama. Both partners wanting the last piece of toast is, in its literal definition, a conflict. Both partners wanting to drive the new car to a get-together is a conflict. Football daring to come in the way of a "Hoarders" episode is conflict. So yeah. Keeping aside lobotomized partners, most partnerships involve a lot of conflict, and yep, it's normal!
I can't see how his orgasm has to necessarily involve your cooperation...
How so... please explain.... use explicit language if necessary....
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