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not all of these men are "women-haters". Some i've read are, but some are just harsh critics, and some women aren't accustomed to the criticism. That's understandable since our society doesn't usually accept criticism of women for female-specific things, except maybe a promiscuous woman.
I've followed the writings of the types of guys you are discussing (and know many personally) and the answers are pretty simple.
-some have genuinely wanted a woman for years but have been constantly rejected in favor of men they deem "unworthy". Eventually they do a 180 and start criticizing the women's choices in men. Try to imagine if you were constantly rejected by men for years nearly 100% of the time in favor of loose women. Would you not criticize these decisions?
-some were told as young boys that they were "nice guys" and "any girl would be lucky to have them" by well-meaning mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, and female friends. However, that didn't translate in the real world. That built up a sense of expectation (or entitlement) that is very hard to reconcile when they see the women they desire going with men who are the opposite of what they are.
-some were even friends with women who proclaimed they wanted this "nice guy" but their actions proved otherwise. Many nice guys think being nice is good enough since women don't say "i want a nice guy and i want him to be attractive and i want him to be a,b,c,d. Many men don't hear the rest of the story, only the "nice guy" request. That's very confusing to a young mind who was sold the "nice guy dream".
i'm neither criticizing nor supporting the end result, i'm simply giving you an inside explanation of how it happens.
additionally, a lot of women here don't realize what type of criticisms arise when women aren't around. I've been in many male only conversations, from affluent down to lower class. You'd be surprised how even men who have good luck with women share some of these opinions. Of course they aren't going to tell you that, so you believe it doesn't exist! If your boyfriend or husband is not typically raw with his opinions in areas where you would get mad, of course he's not going to tell you he agrees with some of these raw opinions you read online. In a nutshell, most men are wimps and won't tell women what they really think because they don't want them to get mad. So instead, they say it to other men or in this case, come online and say it.
This happens with both genders. How many of you can really say you've never been involved in a women-only conversation where men are harshly criticized? Too many women from different backgrounds have told me this for me to believe it's rare.
Most gay men do not hate women. I would only assume some women continue try to tie homosexuality with female criticism or women hating is an effort to try and attack their manhood. I guess it's a way to rationalize what's going on since harsh criticism from men is so out of left field for them.
Having a sense of worth is perfectly fine; thinking you can get everybody is a bit of an exaggeration, to say the least.
No one said anything about getting everyone. I am ordinary enough but even were I filled with shock and awe there would still be women who were not attracted to me. This is a different thing than a group of women who are perceived as too good for me because I am not in their "league". I dont see this at all and this is not an uncommon thing among men my own age whereas it seems younger men more commonly hold the leagues view. You have to remember sierra, I grew up as a young male in a mans world fully believing that the only thing standing between me and anything whatsoever was hard work. Maybe Phil can explain it better.
I agree, but nothing in society has shown me that you aren't in the minority.
I don't think I'm a minority within my demographic at least. Sure, my gf's would discuss whatever issues they were having with their mate, but it wouldn't go beyond that. I think it comes down to happy people vs the unhappy people. A majority of my female friends are happy women who love their men. Problems arise from time to time, but not to the point where gender bigotry results. To me that only makes sense because if a person is b*tching about a gender then they're b*tching about their mate on a pretty large scale and people in good marriages don't disrespect their mates like that.
For the gender complainers in my life (my parents) they've been changing their tunes because through me they have the opportunity too see what an intelligent marriage is comprised of and how that, in turn, affects a person's pov. And this just goes back to birds of a feather.
Of course you did. It's too late to backpedal now. It's not manly, either.
Backpedaling? You made me laugh, have to say. I'm talking leagues, you are saying everybody. Not the same thing. I don't see any leagues or in other words groups of women that are beyond me, too good for me, unattainable. The only women I write off are those that I see as anchors. Now if you want to talk EVERY woman, yeah, there are going to be those that will have nothing to do with me for whatever reason or reasons. I'm not possessed of fairy dust that is going to beguile any girl no matter what. This doesn't mean that I cant fish any water just that I cant catch every fish. Two separate things.
For the gender complainers in my life (my parents) they've been changing their tunes because through me they have the opportunity too see what an intelligent marriage is comprised of and how that, in turn, affects a person's pov. And this just goes back to birds of a feather.
Intelligent marriage? With all due respect, what the hell is a "intelligent marriage"?
We need to frame this conversation around the right set of facts. Of course people should look within to see what they are doing wrong IF there is clear feedback. Let's reverse the genders and use two questions to illustrate my point:
1) If you have been told by well meaning friends, family and men who rejected you that nothing's wrong with you or you're "too nice", how can you self examine and come up with a positive improvement? There is a lack of sufficient feedback.
2) If your successful competitors in the dating pool are loose women and bad girls, would the result of your self-examination be: "negative people are receiving the most attention, therefore I need to become a negative person?" Does that really seem like self improvement?
...
Actually, I find that men are more willing to settle for best available. We only really hear about women holding out for Mr. Right. How often do you hear of a guy turning down women in his league and choosing to be alone to hold out for a 10?
1) I'm smart enough to know when people are afraid of appearing rude. NEVER take the "you're too nice" comment as truth. It usually means "you're a doormat and people don't respect you."
2) Again, with the sexual double-standard. I am assuming that by "loose," you mean a woman who had many sexual partners. Sorry, but a woman having many sexual partners does not make her "bad" in my eyes. A bad person is someone who intentionally and maliciously abuses or otherwise harms other people. If a man wants that, then he wasn't the man for me. If anything, I'd take it as a compliment that he went elsewhere.
3) Actually, the women who "hold out" are only doing what those who perpetrate double standards have been preaching. It's the folks who have sexual double-standards who go around telling women to "hold out" and "wait" and "sex is a precious gift to be given only to the worthy" and blah, blah, blah that foster inflated egos among women. Sorry, but you can't have it both ways, calling women who are accessible loose and then finding fault with other women for being picky.
No, the men in the City-Data He-Man Woman-Hater's Club--and they know who they are--are angry because they don't meet the very standards they insist on foisting upon women: They want women to be picky and not "loose," and then get angry when those picky women don't pick them.
It's all about wounded ego. Nothing less, nothing more.
Quote:
Originally Posted by calicali01
Typical Western woman. You clearly have no heart or compassion.
Typical whiner who wants to blame everyone else in the world for his own shortcomings and failures. If you don't like Western women, get out of the West. No one is saying you have to live here. It's a great big world. Some woman somewhere will have you. Maybe. If you don't lash out like a manipulative two-year-old and accuse her of being heartless every time she makes a good point that you disagree with. Maybe you need one of those seemingly subservient women who let you think you are in charge. Would that suit you better?
As for me, sorry to disappoint you, but I have never had a shortage of good men to choose from, and never will. Three reasons why: First, because I am sufficiently self-aware to know what my own shortcomings are and I constantly work to improve them. It's not easy, I don't always succeed, and I make mistakes, but I get an A for effort--just like I give an A for effort. Second, I am sufficiently aware of the world around me, and of the great and vast variation in tastes and preferences in the human male, to know that I'm not going to do it for every man I would like to get to know, and I don't take it personally. Third, I'm strong, capable, and don't need a man to complete my life. If my SO and I split up and I never date again, OH WELL! Good thing I enjoy my own company!
Hmmm, I guess that makes me a Western woman all right--a Western woman who is too smart to have anything to do with churlish, angry kids like you.
As for me, sorry to disappoint you, but I have never had a shortage of good men to choose from, and never will. Three reasons why: First, because I am sufficiently self-aware to know what my own shortcomings are and I constantly work to improve them. It's not easy, I don't always succeed, and I make mistakes, but I get an A for effort--just like I give an A for effort. Second, I am sufficiently aware of the world around me, and of the great and vast variation in tastes and preferences in the human male, to know that I'm not going to do it for every man I would like to get to know, and I don't take it personally. Third, I'm strong, capable, and don't need a man to complete my life. If my SO and I split up and I never date again, OH WELL! Good thing I enjoy my own company!
Actually I believe you Yzette, though, not for the feel good, fluff talk reasons you stated.
See, the REAL reason why you will never have a shortage of good men to chose from is due to GEOGRAPHY no.1, and no.2, it's due to the fact that in the West many men are desperate for sex and female affection (ie, due to illegal prostitution, puritan beliefs, anti social culture, ect) so Western men will marry/date anything that is a female and has a pulse just so they can find sexual relief and not be alone.
Had you been born in Iran, the Philippines, or Thailand, for example, you would not be so prideful and vain because in other countries even poor men have outlets for sex, or they can marry a HOT, THIN, YOUNG wife if they so chose to. However, it's the women in these countries who have the hard time finding a good man which is why many of them try to get into the States so they can be in your position.
This is well known with Western business women who travel overseas, often they give up good paying overseas jobs because they can't deal with the loneliness and not having any guys give them attention that they were so use to in the West.
I would also submit that in many states in the Untied States there are more men then women so that also works to your favor.
Regards.. ...
Last edited by calicali01; 08-30-2011 at 05:49 PM..
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