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I'll meet you half way on it. I don't think sex is a sin. But those who are married and made a vow, cheating I don't think is right.
I wasnt referring to sex as a sin. I was referring to adultery and casual sex...regardless of what our culture preaches. Our Creator made sex but with certain restraints so people dont harm themselves --- the national STD Epidemic which have claimed the lives of many thousands, as an example.
I wasnt referring to sex as a sin. I was referring to adultery and casual sex...regardless of what our culture preaches. Our Creator made sex but with certain restraints so people dont harm themselves --- the national STD Epidemic which have claimed the lives of many thousands, as an example.
Like I said, I'll meet you half way because I don't consider "casual" sex as a sin. What matters more is how revealing or deceiving you are or not with that said person.
What is more honest or deceiving? A couple that follows moral tradition and marry but because of mutual gain not true love, or a couple that enjoy each other out of true attraction but confess to each other they don't quite love each other or want to marry?
There are a few reasons. Mainly, during the initial stages of it, it is exciting. That combined with not seeing the person everyday (after all, you can't because she or he is having an affair with you) is great because it keeps things new, exciting and outside of the parameters of yours and their everyday life. It's like a world apart from the one you live in that everyone knows about. Text messages, having to maintain a scedule that is based on the secrecy, feeling that you both have something so special that it requires the effort and time necessary in maintaining the alternate universe known as the affair. (while ignoring the fact that she or he is married or with someone else.)
And as a guy that has been single during intimate "relationships" with married women, I can say that it is a great thing to be the one that she is seeking out sex with when she is not getting what she needs from the guy she is with-ever. And thats not to say anything is wrong with a husband or boyfriend that can't get the job done in that department. They probably would try harder if they knew what was up but some women like to compartimentalize their lives/relationships, etc and have something going on the side. Both times that I was involved in situations like that were unique in the sense that it wasn't just women that I randomly met that happened to be married. In both cases, it was previous girlfriends from over a decade prior that I had not saw or talked to in that entire time that had gotten married and had separate lives in the time we were apart. Then through mutual friends, they tracked me down, and it was totally on again right where we left off originally.
Its great too to be the guy that is single in an affair with a married woman because when we were not together or having sex, I could do whatever I wanted to, whenever I wanted to and with other women and it wasn't cheating. If I got called on where I was or if I was seeing another woman, I always pulled the Ace of Spades out of the deck and said "I'll tell you what I'm doing and will be honest, when you start being honest with your husband."
Also, it's great not having to deal with all the nonsense the unsuspecting husband does like making a mortgage payment, taking care of the kids, buying her a new car, putting money in her IRA every year, etc etc etc. Especially knowing firsthand what women that are in lust are capable of, I would never go down that road for a single minute.
On a few occasions throughout the years, I have been "friends with benefits" with women in my friend circle without the other friends knowing. It can be very fun to have a secret, but you know how it is with secrets: If there is more than one person that knows (as there will be in every sexual relationship, seeing as there are two people in it), eventually it always gets out. I have never cheated on a woman I was dating though.
Like I said, I'll meet you half way because I don't consider "casual" sex as a sin. What matters more is how revealing or deceiving you are or not with that said person.
What is more honest or deceiving? A couple that follows moral tradition and marry but because of mutual gain not true love, or a couple that enjoy each other out of true attraction but confess to each other they don't quite love each other or want to marry?
It doesnt matter what you or I say is sin and right/wrong -- thats already been decided by far greater Authority than you , I, or society. To expect virtuous and noble character to come out of a situation that is immoral and destructive at its core, is a dychotomy because they are at odds foundationally. At the very core of a casual sex (live in or not) relationship, is the expectation that the door is always left ajar for a quick getaway in case Ones nose gets out of joint , the sex isnt up to par as it used to be, or a plethera of other quasi-justifiable excuses for bailing .
True attraction with another doesnt justify embarking on an illicit lifestyle ; some things are definitely wrong and always will be so...regardless of how badly WE want it , at any given time . And it matters not what the current Culture is promoting nor what the consensus of Others are dictating.
I'll meet you half way on it. I don't think sex is a sin. But those who are married and made a vow, cheating I don't think is right.
I never said 'sex was a sin'...in fact it isnt. Its only a sin when people want to make up their own standards concerning it so they can get what they want vis a vis our current cultures philosophy with no holes barred. The obvious quantative consequences to this is seen on a large destructive scale.
Sigh, it's so tiresome your constant preaching and dire warnings about STDs. A person could legitimately wonder about your dark urges that you are so reactive about this.
Plenty of affairs end well. There are examples all over the world of people with two families. There are families in which one or more children clearly has a different dad (or maybe not so clearly, maybe it's found out later through DNA or blood type testing for whatever reason). There are former lovers who become friends. There are lovers for a while, and that time passes. There are ways that people can love each other and no one knows, for a variety of reasons.
Nobody's saying you should put yourself in that situation, but does it do you any good at all to be so judgmental about the rest of deeply-flawed humanity?
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