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I said earlier income differential doesn't matter much, but financial responsibility does. I'll qualify that somewhat. I'm older, and have a relationship with someone I trust, and we're as sure as anyone can be that this is going to last. If I were much younger, I probably WOULD want someone who was more my equal in terms of career prospects and income. I would - and should! - be concerned that a marriage would eventually end, and if there is a large income disparity, it would most likely be me paying her for a long time to come. I'd want a scenario where the only income transfer would be for child support. That avoids much of the emotional turmoil and bitterness over perceived unfairness as a result of divorce.
Being older, though, my concerns and goals are very different than when I was young, and marrying someone who is also older probably means they have some income and assets themselves. At the least, a prenup and separate accounts might be in order, so the risks are less in many ways, and children probably aren't an issue anymore.
My wife's salary is literally two-thirds of our combined income. Although I'm happy to see her move up in the company my lack of income has been recently leveraged against me. Was never a problem until then.
Damn, that sucks. People can say what they want, but more money DOES change people. I hope you can keep a handle on the relationship, cuz if she's already using her income as a weapon against you, it's only a matter of time before she files.
My wife's salary is literally two-thirds of our combined income. Although I'm happy to see her move up in the company my lack of income has been recently leveraged against me. Was never a problem until then.
Well, want to get your take on this. I know many men in their 20s or perhaps even early 30s will not think twice about marrying someone who is financially much lower than themselves...at least that is what I think. I guess younger men tend to choose based on hormones rather than logistical analysis
However, does this change as one becomes older, acquires more assets and has more to lose if things so south? Is a 45 year old man more likely to want someone who is his own financial equal than a 25 year old?
Or does "love conquer all" regardless of age...for the men over 35, how comfortable are you marrying someone who does not have much in terms of assets and income? How likely are you to even be attracted to and fall for such a person?
You are missing a new trend: more women finish college, hence younger professional women are out-earning younger men in general, hence the real deal is: either: "Why does it bother some men to date women who make more?" or: "Why do young men who make less think it's ok to date women who make more?"
I'm a 26 year old male who makes a decent living, and I won't have a relationship with a woman who doesn't have an equal job as I do. For example, a woman of the same age as me working at Nordstrom's sure doesn't appear to have a lot going on in her life. It gives me the impression that she's waiting around for a guy with money to come along and take care of her so she doesn't have to work at all. On the flip side, women who are successful like lawyers and doctors wouldn't even be interested in knowing my name if they knew I was just a bartender.
What about somebody who's in a career track generally perceived as a professional vocation, as opposed to service industry or retail sales, but who none the less is not in a richly compensated field (something that occurs with those I know employed in fields such as journalism, teaching, social work, agriculture, graphic design, etc.) ? Not sure what your criteria for "decent living" is, but what is your definition of an "equal" job? There's a lot of work that fits in neither the "waitress/bartender/salesperson" category, nor the "doctor/lawyer/corporate executive" category.
Gee, wouldn't it be totally ODD to hear:
A doctor say that his or her SO works at Denny's.
A lawyer say that his/her SO works at Target.
An FBI Agent say that his/her SO works at Wal Mart.
A CEO say that his/her SO works at Penny's.
Talking about complete opposite earnings and lifestyles......WOW!!
Gee, wouldn't it be totally ODD to hear:
A doctor say that his or her SO works at Denny's.
A lawyer say that his/her SO works at Target.
An FBI Agent say that his/her SO works at Wal Mart.
A CEO say that his/her SO works at Penny's.
Talking about complete opposite earnings and lifestyles......WOW!!
Im not a guy, but since there not exactly jumping to respond, Ill give you my opinion. My first marriage we were both very young. I quickly out earned my dh. I believe he was resentful of this. It didnt bother me as we didnt have much, just starting out and I was not up on divorce law.
My second marriage. We were both in our 30's. Both educated and had similar salaries. Didnt bother either of us. I actually contributed more to the assests during our marriage. I could very well have had to pay some alimony as he was unemployed when we divorced. I got exactly 1/2 equity of a home I paid 95% of. And that is all.
Now in my late 40's I greatly out earn my bf. I would never marry him as I would lose greatly in a divorce. I dont plan on ever re marrying and definately not to anyone who wasnt on equal financial standing.
My ex has an unemployed gf. I dont know if they have plans to marry.
My attitude on marriage has definately changed over the years.
How do you know your current bf is not the one that would stay with you till death? It sounds like you don't love him.
I thought I fixed your similar post once already? If not, my apologies, I will fix it right now:
Quote:
Originally Posted by k374
Well, want to get your take on this. I know many women in their 20s or perhaps even early 30s will not think twice about marrying someone who is financially much lower than themselves...at least that is what I think. I guess younger women tend to choose based on hormones rather than logistical analysis
However, does this change as one becomes older, acquires more assets and has more to lose if things so south? Is a 45 year old woman more likely to want someone who is his own financial equal than a 25 year old?
Or does "love conquer all" regardless of age...for the women over 35, how comfortable are you marrying someone who does not have much in terms of assets and income? How likely are you to even be attracted to and fall for such a person?
My girlfriend and I both make decent salaries for our age and she makes just a smidge more then me. Our big inequality comes from our assets. I'm saddled up with mid-high 5-digit student debt and a car loan while she is sitting on about that same amount saved in the bank. She's always had everything provided to her and her parents had contributed to her bank account regularly. She could spend like crazy (she generally doesn't) and still save a bit while I'm lucky if I break even every month.
We've discussed this at length and she always says money doesn't matter. My response is always "it's easy to say that when you've never had to worry about it."
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