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My experiences in as a woman, as a mother, and "in the field" don't jive with your experiences. Like I said, men and women can look at the same situation differently. You're not going to convince me that you know more about the female mind than I do. I'm not trying to tell you that your experiences are invalid or that your perspective as a man is wrong. I am simply pointing out that we women see this scenario differently than men do.
Somebody (I think it was BajanYankee) said that no matter how unattractive a woman is, there is always a man desperate enough to have sex with her. Remember that we're talking about Plain Jane, a young woman whom men ignore except for sex, not cute girls in clubs. Women do not brag that some guy was "desperate enough" to shag them.
i'm not claiming that your experiences are invalid either, and i think we can agree that at the end of the day, much boils down to the differences between points of view.
i think you probably know more about how you yourself think, while most guys will know better how women, in the *aggregate*, tend to behave. if you picked out any one woman and asked me what's goin on in her mind or what her taste in men is like, of course i wouldn't be able to nail it down. however, i don't think you can reasonably argue with us when we claim that most women are aiming for the top 10% of guys and will, in fact, have a much easier time getting laid in their 20s and possibly 30s than guys of the same age will.
also, i dont think he claimed that plain jane should be flattered that some loser shagged her; the point is that she can get sex any time she wants, and moreover, a fair bit of the time she'll actually be able to score with a guy that she actually *wants* to score with. this is much more than can be said for the average young male, who will almost always have to just settle. in summary: plain jane can score up easily, plain joe has to play the numbers game and hope that plain jane someday finds him good enough to hook up with.
But you're a mother; not some 20 something in college or just out of college. I've seen the bragging that the previous poster is talking about. Some women in their 20s and even some in their early 30s do not look down upon their close girlfriend if she happens to hook up with some totally hot guy who is cool. It happens more than a lot of women on this board would like to think. This isn't 1962; it's 2011 and young women feel more liberated in the sense that they can behave like a man and shouldn't be judged more harshly for their sexual relationships.
Yep, I'm a mom, but I don't know what 1962 was like ... that was 11 years before I was born. My oldest child is 15, and guys her age seem to act the same as they did when I was 15. I dated the man I eventually married when I was 15. High school is not that different, except that instead of girls' reputations getting smeared on bathroom walls, now it's on Facebook and Formspring.
Once again, you're not going to convince me that you understand women better than I do.
Yep, I'm a mom, but I don't know what 1962 was like ... that was 11 years before I was born. My oldest child is 15, and guys her age seem to act the same as they did when I was 15. I dated the man I eventually married when I was 15. High school is not that different, except that instead of girls' reputations getting smeared on bathroom walls, now it's on Facebook and Formspring.
Once again, you're not going to convince me that you understand women better than I do.
you're right about high school, but the 20s-30s crowd is different. by that age, most women go for what they want.
Yep, I'm a mom, but I don't know what 1962 was like ... that was 11 years before I was born. My oldest child is 15, and guys her age seem to act the same as they did when I was 15. I dated the man I eventually married when I was 15. High school is not that different, except that instead of girls' reputations getting smeared on bathroom walls, now it's on Facebook and Formspring.
Once again, you're not going to convince me that you understand women better than I do.
Not trying to convince you of anything. I'm just saying that in 2011 the shame of a woman in her 20s or 30s hooking up with a random is not as big as you want to believe. But you want to believe that based on how you view hooking up.
you're right about high school, but the 20s-30s crowd is different. by that age, most women go for what they want.
Quote:
Originally Posted by he's so hott
Not trying to convince you of anything. I'm just saying that in 2011 the shame of a woman in her 20s or 30s hooking up with a random is not as big as you want to believe. But you want to believe that based on how you view hooking up.
Not too many varsity football players and head cheerleaders in their 20s and 30s. That's what the OP is about. I said earlier that a grown woman with healthy self-esteem can be fine being an FWB or F-buddy. I have no problem with casual sex, but I am honest about how it can affect people. A plain girl whom the boys only like for sex is not going to grow into a woman with healthy self-esteem. She's either going to believe she's good for only one thing, or that guys only want one thing--or both.
so she ended up letting a guy she was attracted to come over to her place and sleep with her. WOE IS ME
If they had sex, the experience must have been worth it, right? I mean, the guy got his rocks off. What's so wrong with that? So he behaved like a predator. So he got a girl intoxicated and had sex with her while she was in an inebriated state and unable to give legitimate consent. So he took advantage of her and treated her like dirt. So his actions would be considered RAPE in most, if not all states. Big whoop! They had SEX! Sex is everything! PENILE SATISFACTION is everything! And that makes it all okay!
Sickening. I can't even say that your response is typical of a male presuming to speak from a female's point of view, because I don't think anyone with an ounce of ethics, male or female, could possibly find anything positive in the situation I described.
So he got a girl intoxicated and had sex with her while she was in an inebriated state and unable to give legitimate consent. So he took advantage of her and treated her like dirt. Big whoop! They had SEX! Sex is everything! PENILE SATISFACTION is everything! And that makes it all okay!
What??? Did I misread the OP's original post. I didn't see anything about him getting her drunk and the female not being able to legitimately consent.
If they had sex, the experience must have been worth it, right? I mean, the guy got his rocks off. What's so wrong with that? So he behaved like a predator. So he got a girl intoxicated and had sex with her while she was in an inebriated state and unable to give legitimate consent. So he took advantage of her and treated her like dirt. So his actions would be considered RAPE in most, if not all states. Big whoop! They had SEX! Sex is everything! PENILE SATISFACTION is everything! And that makes it all okay!
Sickening. I can't even say that your response is typical of a male presuming to speak from a female's point of view, because I don't think anyone with an ounce of ethics, male or female, could possibly find anything positive in the situation I described.
This is a prime example of blaming the guy for anything and not holding the female accountable for her actions. Nothing in the OP suggests she was intoxicated. Stop labeling men as having the worst of intentions and women as having the best of intentions. It's incredibly offensive and misandric. She had sex because she was horny. She wasn't used. She is accountable for her actions.
If they had sex, the experience must have been worth it, right? I mean, the guy got his rocks off. What's so wrong with that? So he behaved like a predator. So he got a girl intoxicated and had sex with her while she was in an inebriated state and unable to give legitimate consent. So he took advantage of her and treated her like dirt. So his actions would be considered RAPE in most, if not all states. Big whoop! They had SEX! Sex is everything! PENILE SATISFACTION is everything! And that makes it all okay!
Sickening. I can't even say that your response is typical of a male presuming to speak from a female's point of view, because I don't think anyone with an ounce of ethics, male or female, could possibly find anything positive in the situation I described.
It's possible that he was referring to the original post and differentiating between it and the scenario you described. People are getting confused by your post--I was until I went back and reread Elysian's post and what he was responding to.
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