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Yes I hold grudges. I don't do it for silly things though and will only hold a grudge after getting burned many times first. I tend to be a sucker like that. People make mistakes, no one is perfect. I give people lots of chances but if they are toxic then a grudge keeps them away. Sometimes things can't be forgiven. I usually find that when people are annoyed with others that hold grudges are usually toxic and have zero responsibility for their actions.
I don't hold grudges. I forgive, then forget the person ever existed.
Ha-ha, if that's the definition of not holding grudges, then I don't, either.
Joke aside, I do hold grudges, but it surprises me that many times years later I don't even remember what the issue was. On the forums, for instance, sometimes I know I have an unpleasant association with some moniker, but again, I don't always remember why.
Ha-ha, if that's the definition of not holding grudges, then I don't, either.
Joke aside, I do hold grudges, but it surprises me that many times years later I don't even remember what the issue was. On the forums, for instance, sometimes I know I have an unpleasant association with some moniker, but again, I don't always remember why.
LOL...I am actually the opposite. I always remember who I had confrontations with on this forum and why. However, after a certain time passes, I no longer care or upset and end up chatting or giving advice to that poster anyway.
Yep, I bear more grudges, than lonely high court judges.
You can't expect people to just forget certain things if they have never been set right. But then again, I don't go around venting about the same thing over and over again -- that is just plain unhealthy. Though you can be sure that if I was ever asked about a situation, I would definitely have much to say. If somebody is holding a grudge against you, ask yourself if you have ever tried to truly set things right. If somebody can't stop venting about a certain situation, they need mental help or a chance to confront the person that did them wrong.
Unfortunately I am one of those people who holds grudges. I have been told by people who know me that I have an uncanny memory for detail from things that happened long ago. I have always suspected that this is why I hold grudges.
I don't forgive and I don't forget, but I still don't hold a grudge. I had a best friend that crossed me several years ago. We simply don't hang out or talk anymore. I'm not mad at what he did, but know to keep my distance from people like that. I'll still be cordial if we bump into each other though.
I am like this too. I will be polite, but I will not forget the betrayal, or think of the person in the same way.
Holding grudges is toxic for the person holding the grudge. Most times the person you are holding a grudge against doesn't even know it or aren't even thinking about it. They are paying nothing to rent all that space in your head.
People who are bent and hold it in for just the right place to vent. Swinging the sword of hurtful words and bringing up deep-seated hatred that goes far beyond the situation at hand.
Yeah... you have to feel sorry for people like that. They probably sit around single with a bunch of dogs or cats complaining about everyone and anything from neighbors to people in general.
Do you know of someone like this and how do you cope?
How do I deal? I try to see it one way. This person who holds something against me and makes it obvious, is a person who probably has had her mistakes held against her.
While I may have compassion for her, she is mistaken if she thinks her behavior will have a negative impact on mine. She is allowed to think the worst in what I do, and if she crosses boundaries she is told directly. But that pretty much goes for anybody I know or meet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama
Holding grudges will eat you from the inside and destroy any potential to grow as a person. I have been hurt by people, but I consider myself lucky, because I'm the type of person who forgives and forgets everything.
I, too, am lucky to let go because for me personally, if I don't, I am not communicating my expectations and allowing my boundaries to be crossed.
I do keep a family member at a distance and there was a point where I couldn't tell if I was doing it out of pride or just holding a grudge. I didn't want either to be the reason she was kept at a distance because she really is not a bad person. Instead I learned to ask better questions and to not be afraid to turn her down.
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