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Unbelievable.
I can't believe many women these days say they wouldn't call a man if he gave his number.
What makes some of you either too stuck-up or intimidated that you won't take the initiative to make a simple phone call?
I can see not calling a guy if he smelled bad, looked like a bum, or had a boring personality but lots of nice attractive men are being shunned because too many women are still living in the past and won't make the 1st move.
It's 2020, not 1950. Wake up out there.
For the most part, it's guys saying women won't do it. Most women are saying it fine, and even polite.
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I have still yet to meet this woman that doesn't want an egalitarian relationship. Where are you hanging out?
All you have to do is look at the dating world and some of the posts on this very thread. It's still the attitude that man makes the move, calls the woman, picks up the woman in his car and pays for the outing.
Mind you, I'm a married woman and have no real interest in the dating scene but all I can do is speak from experience.
Many years ago I asked out a wonderful man, enjoyed his company, went out on many more dates and we always shared the expensed equally.
That man has been my husband nearly 20 years and we couldn't be happier as a couple.
I had a guy tell me that if I didn’t give him my number he was going to throw himself in front of a bus. I told him to give me his instead. He asked if I’d really call him if he did. I said, nope but I will call your next of kin to let them know what happened to you...it’s the least I can do for someone who would jump in front of a bus for me.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mags61
All you have to do is look at the dating world and some of the posts on this very thread. It's still the attitude that man makes the move, calls the woman, picks up the woman in his car and pays for the outing.
Mind you, I'm a married woman and have no real interest in the dating scene but all I can do is speak from experience.
Many years ago I asked out a wonderful man, enjoyed his company, went out on many more dates and we always shared the expensed equally.
That man has been my husband nearly 20 years and we couldn't be happier as a couple.
Well I am in the dating world and have been for decades.
I know better to take CDR as "real" situations though, its full of "stories", adult virgins and misogynists. In the real world, I find it uncommon that a woman will accept me picking up the entire tab, and if they are, they insist on getting next. In established relationships we split or switch off, unless there is a very large salary differential, and I have been on both sides of that.
Wow, hyperbolic much? With the way this is phrased, sounds like you have a flare for the dramatic. And you get on to me on my choice of verbiage. lol How do you go from "Demanding" a phone #, to just ASKING for a phone number?
*eyeroll* Talk about a drama queen. You make it sound like some guy asked you to donate a third limb or vital organ.
You know, reading to the way you describe it makes it look like a plot for a SNL satire or spoof of a woman scared for her life, in a dark ally, with the terrible bad man asking for her number. Could be a plot for even a B movie horror flick. lol
Actually, when my daughter was in college, she experienced more than being accosted by young men right on the street who did demand her phone number with the same implied threat of violence as though demanding, "Give me your wallet!"
And when given a number, they immediately checked it on their cell phones to make sure the woman had given them the correct number, again with an implied threat of violence.
I then saw it actually happen to a young woman one day when I was meeting my daughter on campus.
I told her to give them my number. I had response that would have been very close to that of Liam Neeson's in "Taken."
feminism in general is basically the belief that women should have the same opportunities as men.
That was the First (voting equality) and Second Waves (economic and social equality).
Quote:
one is either a feminist; x-or, a sexist.
Depending on who you read, that is either Third Wave or Forth Wave. In the writings of the 80s, the Third Wave was the expansion of the First and Second Waves beyond industrialized nations.
The Fourth Wave is characterized by the saying, "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."
Somewhere later than that is the current radical wave which essentially moves to occupy the "territory"of men, replace men, and ultimately eliminate men...according to their own writings. This group sees society as a zero-sum game, not a pie from which all can take a slice.
You can see some elements of that in the media today.
All you have to do is look at the dating world and some of the posts on this very thread. It's still the attitude that man makes the move, calls the woman, picks up the woman in his car and pays for the outing.
Mind you, I'm a married woman and have no real interest in the dating scene but all I can do is speak from experience.
Many years ago I asked out a wonderful man, enjoyed his company, went out on many more dates and we always shared the expensed equally.
That man has been my husband nearly 20 years and we couldn't be happier as a couple.
Congrats on your long and happy marriage!
I've only ever heard 1 or 2 women on this board say that they EXPECTED a man to pay in full for dates. I actually combed through a very long thread a long while back and counted the various answers. Most women said something like "it depends." Like, "whoever asks, pays." Or "I come to a date prepared to pay for my part and if he strongly insists on paying (which some men do) then I won't make a scene about it, I'll back down and let him do it if it matters to him so much." That is my default position, though if I invite a date to a more expensive place, like anything that is going to run more than $20/plate, then I'm going to offer right up front to pay for both of us. Because I'm not going to put a guy (or anyone) in a position of feeling pressure to spend more than they might be comfortable with, to make a good impression on a date. I actually respect frugality in a man. And I'm not wild about needless extravagance.
Men who replied on that thread though? A LOT of men said that they always paid. Not in a complaining way, they just said, "I was raised to pay for a lady's dinner on a date" and such sentiments as that. So a lot of the time, it's men thinking that men have to pay. They don't. Not most of the time, not from where we're concerned. And I go further to say, it doesn't even give me a more positive impression of a man, if he pays for my meal. I would much rather he did not.
As for the phone number thing, I am allowed to have my own preferences about that, and I do. I don't give out my phone number unless I am very, very sure that I want to see that person again. Usually after we've spent at least a couple of hours talking. I consider it to be a piece of PII (personally identifying information) and I'm not in the habit of tossing that to strangers. I don't have it visible to people I'm Facebook friends with, either. If a man gives me his number, and I don't know him, I cannot guarantee I'm going to call that number. But I've never had a period of time where I was single and available and looking, and having a hard time finding men to date. I have no need to phone an audacious stranger that I know nothing about, other than a quick impression of his looks. I was more inclined to do online dating, because at least then I could read a profile and get an idea if we had anything in common.
At which point, my pattern was to talk to the guy a little while on the app's message system, refuse to go off-app to giving him my number or doing face chat or "kik" whatever that is...because no, I'm not interested in exchanging naked pictures and too many guys seemed to want to go that direction. Then set up a first date. If that went well, he got my number. If not, he never would.
But I tell you, there was a delightful older gentleman on a plane next to me once, and we talked the entire flight. I think he was married, so I don't think he was trying to hit on me, just he was a chatty extrovert like I am is how it seemed. But he had such interesting things to say, and I really wish that HE had given me his number. But see, it's that...conversation...not a glance, that tells me if I want to connect or not.
That was the First (voting equality) and Second Waves (economic and social equality).
Depending on who you read, that is either Third Wave or Forth Wave. In the writings of the 80s, the Third Wave was the expansion of the First and Second Waves beyond industrialized nations.
The Fourth Wave is characterized by the saying, "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."
Somewhere later than that is the current radical wave which essentially moves to occupy the "territory"of men, replace men, and ultimately eliminate men...according to their own writings. This group sees society as a zero-sum game, not a pie from which all can take a slice.
You can see some elements of that in the media today.
No, that was 2nd Wave. Gloria Steinem popularized the phrase, which was originally made by another writer/activist.
It was Steinem's phrase, but by then she'd moved beyond the Second Wave. She was the radical fringe.
In what way was she the radical fringe (of the period you're discussing)?
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