Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 02-04-2020, 07:07 AM
 
3,926 posts, read 2,023,826 times
Reputation: 2768

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
One would only say this if they want to blame women for making a decision that is in their personal interest.







And that is their right and a choice they have made for a reason. Of course, you have no idea why they are like that at all. You're not in their heads.







Stop stop stop. Jesus H Christ with this youtube video crap on how to be human.
Get away from bleep like this.









No, it really isn't any of this. It's about having a freaking clue and being human.




I don't see any of these. Never heard of them until this site. Because, why would I.
Are you not going to address what I said about my female friend that said what she said about her own gender and what that says about her as a fellow sister?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-04-2020, 07:08 AM
 
3,926 posts, read 2,023,826 times
Reputation: 2768
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
She could be not feeling well, or just not in a chatty mood. It doesnt have to be personal. Nobody owes anyone a conversation.
Right, but some women get outright offended by the attempt.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-04-2020, 07:08 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123 View Post
Are you not going to address what I said about my female friend that said what she said about her own gender and what that says about her as a fellow sister?


When she comes to speak for herself, I will discuss her views with her.


You have lots of "female friends" that supposedly say lots of things. I have never, personally, me a woman that has complained that having equal rights and equal opportunities in society has "ruined" anything.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-04-2020, 07:11 AM
 
3,926 posts, read 2,023,826 times
Reputation: 2768
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
When she comes to speak for herself, I will discuss her views with her.

.
Oh well then if you're not open to discussing that aspect of the post, then you're quite narrow-minded since you're "stick you fingers in your ears" about it. This is where my responses to you end as you're not willing to be open to discussion on it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-04-2020, 07:16 AM
 
4,382 posts, read 2,269,684 times
Reputation: 4633
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123 View Post
Right, but some women get outright offended by the attempt.
You just dont know enough to judge why she might be acting this way. Its jumping to conclusions to assume shes just paranoid. And if she is just being cautious, she might have a good reason for it.

I admit I literally jumped in my car and ran away from a guy trying to mack me in public once, which was probably rude and I felt bad, but we were in a deserted parking lot in a VERY bad part of town with nobody around. He could have easily grabbed me and threw me in his car and if I screamed nobody was around to help.

Maybe he meant no harm, but it wasnt worth the risk to me. Its just being street smart.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-04-2020, 07:17 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123 View Post
Oh well then if you're not open to discussing that aspect of the post, then you're quite narrow-minded since you're "stick you fingers in your ears" about it. This is where my responses to you end as you're not willing to be open to discussion on it.




Why don't you speak for yourself instead of relaying these creative claims by supposed "female friends"?


I'm willing to discuss YOUR views with YOU. So if YOU think "feminism" has ruined dating. SAY SO. And don't couch it in this nonsense. OWN YOUR VIEWS.


I can't have a discussion with "her" about "her" views since she isn't here. I'd be happy to have a discussion about almost anything, but since "she" isn't here, I can't have one. Duh. Unless of course, she gave you her mind proxy to speak for her

Last edited by timberline742; 02-04-2020 at 07:50 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-04-2020, 08:51 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123 View Post


She sometimes doesn't get women either in the same way that I do. In fact, she claims feminism as ruined dating. That may be contrary to what you think , but you have to think that feminism plays a role...and this is something being touted by a fellow sister. But it's a never ending threads being pulled to other sub-topics that you could go on forever about.

So if a sister blames women...well, what does that say about her? A woman that blames women? Has hell frozen over?
IDK. It says she's an airhead? Before whichever wave of feminism we're reportedly in now, that's "ruined dating", people blamed Anita Hill accusing Clarence Thomas for sexual harassment as the "cause" of men being too reticent to approach women. But there have always been shy guys. They don't need an excuse, a scapegoat, because the problem is in their mind. And in some cases, as we see on this forum, it goes beyond mere shyness; there are guys out there with social anxiety. But the good news is, social anxiety is treatable, if they would seek treatment for it.

We had a very good poster among the women here, a few years ago, who said she never got dates because she was really shy in her teens and 20's. She was an attractive blonde, but because she was so much of a wallflower, she never got approached. So she finally decided to take the bull by the horns, and pushed herself to be more outgoing. She pushed herself past her comfort zone routinely, and eventually she left her shy self behind. This took time, of course. Then, when she went on OLD, she said guys would ask her when they met her in person, what's wrong with her, why is she still single, being so good-looking. They thought she must have some big character flaw.

I've never heard the shy guys say that they're trying to push themselves out of their shyness, trying to remedy it. Except Dissenter, who had a real psychological hurdle to overcome when he first joined. But he's out there now. He hasn't got the results he wants yet, but he's out there testing the waters, occasionally dating. I don't see him blaming "feminism" for his lack of success, unless I missed something.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-04-2020, 09:43 AM
 
4,382 posts, read 2,269,684 times
Reputation: 4633
On this forum, other women posters have blamed me for things I have been through. Men have actually been more sympathetic overall, and I think this is true offline as well, which is why we (women) dont tend to discuss our bad experiences amongst ourselves.

Who wants to be told "You asked for it! You probably secretly wanted it! Its your fault for being stupid and easy!" during the aftermath of trauma? Or "You're lying! You just want attention!" Those are horrid accusations.

The bad effect of that is that victims stay silent and perps get away with it more often, as opposed to if, in general, women were more supportive and compassionate to each other.

And the other effect of that is we are kind of forced to be ultra cautious because a lot of predators are running free and arent held accountable for their crimes.

There are lots of wonderful men too but its impossible to tell who is who after just a brief interaction.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-04-2020, 09:48 AM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,323,898 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123 View Post
Okay, you could say that other men had made it bad for a good, decent man to approach her, so she paints a broad brush on any guy that approaches her.

There's also women that simply want to be left alone, they are like "Crap, not again, I cannot even go to a bookstore in piece" or something like that. Some women just have their walls up, and it's not even due to a history of men coming up to them.

I tried searching for a video on this guy giving a seminar to women on men approaching women. So it's a balance between approaching by the numbers, just approaching in hopes one shows interest, and then men who don't bother approaching at all. But there's that smidgen in the middle that struggle on WHEN to approach. The proper timing of it..and so on.

This is why you see thousands of videos online on "How to approach a woman", Corey Wayne comes to mind, Doctor Nerd Love (corny name yeah, but he makes sense), etc. They seem to be relatively balanced in their ideas....so they aren't really pick-up artists.

There are some that DO address the whole how women having been burned by jerks approaching them, but some don't address that facet that you mention at all.

They aren't like "Oh, by the way, when you approach a woman, you may want to be mindful if that they could've had real creeps approaching them". I've read a topic on "Approach anxiety" on some thread somewhere, if there is even such a thing that there's also an anxiety of a decent guy wondering if his approach may or may not be creeping her out (or not).

But you also have to put into the character or fortitude of the woman.

I do have a female friend that gets along with men really well, so she isn't creeped out or on the defensive hardly at all...as she's the type that talks to anyone. Me and her can talk about this subject and she sympathizes with men's situations in modern day dating.

She sometimes doesn't get women either in the same way that I do. In fact, she claims feminism as ruined dating. That may be contrary to what you think , but you have to think that feminism plays a role...and this is something being touted by a fellow sister. But it's a never ending threads being pulled to other sub-topics that you could go on forever about.

So if a sister blames women...well, what does that say about her? A woman that blames women? Has hell frozen over?
Here's the thing about these dating coaches and the like. A growing number of men from what I've seen have lost respect for those people saying that they are out of touch and the like.

And yeah, if you are thinking about approaching anyone, you have to mind the context. There are places where you definitely approach and meet people. There are places where you could meet people but it is not the primary purpose.

Definitely keep in mind that there are all types of people with all kinds of mindsets ranging from an eagerness to meet people and just a desire to be left alone. And people that have gone through something or have had enough of people. I think every dating coach or people that give advice on dating should at least address that.

The character definitely matters.


As for the "sister", I do agree that feminism has changed dating. But I don't think it is right to "blame" women. Men have done a lot. That said, I'm noticing more women including some posters here on the forum that are pointing out that the harassment is not as common as it sounds. As someone who has been through various types of harassment, myself, I still think it is far too common.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-04-2020, 09:51 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
Here's the thing about these dating coaches and the like. A growing number of men from what I've seen have lost respect for those people saying that they are out of touch and the like.

And yeah, if you are thinking about approaching anyone, you have to mind the context. There are places where you definitely approach and meet people. There are places where you could meet people but it is not the primary purpose.

Definitely keep in mind that there are all types of people with all kinds of mindsets ranging from an eagerness to meet people and just a desire to be left alone. And people that have gone through something or have had enough of people. I think every dating coach or people that give advice on dating should at least address that.

The character definitely matters.


As for the "sister", I do agree that feminism has changed dating. But I don't think it is right to "blame" women. Men have done a lot. That said, I'm noticing more women including some posters here on the forum that are pointing out that the harassment is not as common as it sounds. As someone who has been through various types of harassment, myself, I still think it is far too common.
Common sense strikes again!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:21 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top