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I agree with the life coach. If you do hire one, ask them to assess how you dress as well. I love that show on TLC called "What Not to Wear" with Clinton Kelly and Stacy London. It's amazing how once the women wear appropriate clothing and makup for their age and style, how beautiful they look!
This is not to say about how you dress now, as obviously nobody knows what you look like or what you wear.
I'm sorry you're going through this stuff, and the depression is understandable. I'll put my two cents in and say make recovery from your depression your number one priority, and please don't put it off. Take a step towards it. Life coaches are great for specific problems like social skills, but professional counseling may be needed to get you through a health issue.. Depression robs a person of their energy, not just their optimism. It takes energy to work out, diet, shop for clothes, salon services, speed dating & regular dating. Sometimes travel is involved. Whatever energy and drive you have at this time, spend it on YOU, so you can keep taking care of yourself so you can function in your daily life. I'm a tiny bit older than you and I have found myself pretty much in the same place with the dating. At 47, I was focused on my second career: motherhood. Dating wasn't a priority. I'm real glad I put my kids first, and I will continue to make my life responsibilities a priority. In the long run, a desirable man will respond better to a woman who is healthy, functioning, reasonably happy and pretty good at managing her life. This woman can be YOU with the right support and services. Best of luck to you. Come back and tell us how things are going.
I need suggestions for attracting a potential man. I am still looking to get married and have children.
About me
I am 47 from Louisiana and have never been in a relationship. I have tried everything from moving to a several new cities, losing weight, countless dating sites, singles clubs/activities, dressing in designer clothes. I am educated and have an okay paying job. Nothing seems to be working for me. I just do not understand why men are not interested?
Moving to Cities
-I have livd in 6 different cities in my lifetime. These cities include New Orleans, Los Angeles, Atlanta, New York, Denver, and San Francisco. I wanted to move to cities where the dating scenes ar larger and had more variety in men. However, I was never asked out on a date and was always turned down.
Losing Weight
In my teens and up until I was around 38, I have always been fit and at a healthy weight and I have worked hard to keep the wight off of m. When I was younger, I was very obsessed about my weight, that isn't th case with me now. Despite being very fit and healthy no men seemed to be interested.
In the dating sites, I have never had much luck, if any. I am currently frequenting chatrooms and men there are never interested. Once I send my picture they either ignore me and/or block me. Going to clubs and other activites were very weird I consider myself to be very outgoing, friendly, and very talkative. I have multiple interests and hate just sitting in the house all day. But lately that is all I have been doing for the past 5 years. This has made me very very depressed. I have given out my number to several men yet I can count on one hand how many have called back and this time frame has been for years and years. I just cannot figure out what men want.
Can anyone offer advice or at least suggestions and answers on why men just don't click with me? Men, what do you find attractive in a woman? And woman what did you change about yourself that men found attractive? I just can't seem to get it? Seriously, I am on the verge of giving up on love altogether and have contemplated suicide. I go to counseling every week and that helps somewhat but I still feel depressed especially since all of my friends are married with multiple kids. I always thought that would be me, I would have been much happier if I was in there shoes.
Just one thing I wanted to mention: perhaps you are only looking amongst a certain type/class of men. You might need to lower your standards and expectations for who you could settle with. Usually, there is always someone interested in us, but we are not interested in them, and so we think: that NO ONE is interested in us. But what we actually mean is: no one that we like is interested in us.
It's possible to lower one's standards after working on one's self for a while.
Also, meeting someone is a matter of time and chance. You have to be at the right place at the right time. So if no one was interested while you were not overweight, it could be simply that you didn't run into the right person at that time. And perhaps the right person is waiting at this time, but needs someone who is not overweight. So you would have more chances if you get to be normal weight. At least that's what I think. But there are always people who like that size as well...
Sorry guys, I'm not man bashing! I believe in love and relationships which are great!
However -----I want you to see a therapist if your lack of having a relationship makes you depressed and suicidal. It is healthy to want love/relationship/get married/have a family....but when you are not 100% you without that then there is a problem. A man is not your salvation and don't you think that's a tall order for someone else to fill - your only source of happiness/fulfillment?
*Stop chasing. You are probably giving out that desperate vibe. A real man wants a healthy and complete person within herself (not just good on paper) but in love with herself so he can love her as well. It's not easy for time to pass and not have what you desired BUT in the meantime -how are you doing with the list of things you want to accomplish besides a relationship. Did you always want to see the Grand Canyon, celebrate New Years in Paris, or Run with the Bulls in Spain? When you get comfortable with yourself and stop chasing someone then men will come but even if they don't -your friends, interests, charity/volunteer time, travel, and hobbies will help you to feel better/complete.
I want you to watch "Under the Tuscan Sun" (Diane Lane). I think you will learn a lot from that movie. Also watch "Must Love Dogs"(Diane Lane) again.
It could be your expectations/standards are unrealistic. Maybe your priorities are on the wrong things. It could be something like you're giving the cold shoulder to some men, who might not be all that attractive but are actually nice people/potential mates. It sounds like to don't have any friends at all. That's a red flag to some.
I'll save the deeper issues for the pseudo-psychologists here and focus on looks.
Genetically, you weren't dealt a bad hand. You just don't appear to be maximizing your potential. Here are some steps you can take that will enhance your outward appearance by a large margin. Ideally, this will begin a snowball effect that infuses you with confidence, a more positive demeanor, and the ability to project that newfound attitude upon potential mates.
My advice to you is very similar to the advice I gave another poster a few months back in the "Fashion and Beauty" sub-forum, because your situation is very similar to hers.
Listen to Missy Elliot.If you a fly gal, get your nails done, get a pedicure, get your hair did. Mainly focus on your hair. You have a nice mane, but the way you wear it is extremely drab and makes it look dull and lifeless. Spend a few dollars at a nice salon and tell the chicks there you want a head-turning 'do. A nice manicure and pedicure won't drastically change your appearance, but they will make you feel more polished.
Gym, Tan, Laundry. It isn't just for New Jersey guidos/guidettes. Learn it, live it, love it.
First, the gym. I can tell by your pic that you are well above your ideal weight. You seem to be financially stable, so spend some money on a good trainer and start working on your body today. You should be at the gym a MINIMUM of four days per week doing both weight training and cardio. I am at the gym FIVE days per week even though I was lucky enough to be dealt a mesomorphic body type, so don't think I am picking on you by telling you that you need to log some gym time. Also, don't be one of those stupid girls who worries they will "beef up" if they lift weights. That is total bulls***. What WILL happen is that you will gain lean muscle that will use up more of your caloric intake and allow you to shed the fat you are carrying.
Also work with your trainer on a sensible eating plan. No fad diets like the HCG diet, unless you want to gain all the weight back plus 20 pounds when you come off.
Once you start making some positive changes with your body, not only will you look better but you will FEEL better and your entire self-image will change.
Tanning: I am certainly not a fan of the orange-tinted "fake bake" look, but your skin looks like it hasn't seen the sun in years. Hit the beach or the tanning bed in moderation and get some color. You will look healthier and more full of life.
Laundry: You don't have to get on Gucci's VIP list, but make sure you are wearing nice, fashionable clothes that are clean and pressed. Having a fit body covered in form-fitting upscale clothing, surmounted by a head of dazzling hair will round out your new, dynamite image.
Hit the Lanscomb Counter. Don't cake yourself in makeup like a two-dollar wh*re, but find a "beauty expert" who can use products in moderation to highlight your facial features that you want to stand out while obscuring what needs to be obscured. If you've ever seen one of those "Celebrities Without Makeup" issues of US Weekly (no homo, the checkout lines are just long sometimes!) you should already understand what a difference that can make.
Please don't take anything I said personally. You seem like a great person that a guy would be lucky to land. I just think there are a few things you can do, as outlined above, to make it easier for you to find that guy. You certainly have the potential.
With that said, I can't believe I just spent 15 minutes giving a woman fashion and beauty advice. I need to go do something heterosexual FAST.
I need suggestions for attracting a potential man. I am still looking to get married and have children.
About me
I am 47 from Louisiana and have never been in a relationship. I have tried everything from moving to a several new cities, losing weight, countless dating sites, singles clubs/activities, dressing in designer clothes. I am educated and have an okay paying job. Nothing seems to be working for me. I just do not understand why men are not interested?
Moving to Cities
-I have livd in 6 different cities in my lifetime. These cities include New Orleans, Los Angeles, Atlanta, New York, Denver, and San Francisco. I wanted to move to cities where the dating scenes ar larger and had more variety in men. However, I was never asked out on a date and was always turned down.
Losing Weight
In my teens and up until I was around 38, I have always been fit and at a healthy weight and I have worked hard to keep the wight off of m. When I was younger, I was very obsessed about my weight, that isn't th case with me now. Despite being very fit and healthy no men seemed to be interested.
In the dating sites, I have never had much luck, if any. I am currently frequenting chatrooms and men there are never interested. Once I send my picture they either ignore me and/or block me. Going to clubs and other activites were very weird I consider myself to be very outgoing, friendly, and very talkative. I have multiple interests and hate just sitting in the house all day. But lately that is all I have been doing for the past 5 years. This has made me very very depressed. I have given out my number to several men yet I can count on one hand how many have called back and this time frame has been for years and years. I just cannot figure out what men want.
Can anyone offer advice or at least suggestions and answers on why men just don't click with me? Men, what do you find attractive in a woman? And woman what did you change about yourself that men found attractive? I just can't seem to get it? Seriously, I am on the verge of giving up on love altogether and have contemplated suicide. I go to counseling every week and that helps somewhat but I still feel depressed especially since all of my friends are married with multiple kids. I always thought that would be me, I would have been much happier if I was in there shoes.
You're living in hillbilly country, ma'am. You either need to move to the North East or the mid-West, a place like Menver where men abound (go read the Menver boards on C/D)
You need a life coach.
If you can't afford to hire one, then turn to your most honest, emotionally healthy friend or relative and ask them to be BRUTALLY HONEST with you about what they see that you are either doing wrong or need to change.
Then take their input WITHOUT getting offended, and run with it.
Is this another way of saying "therapist"
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Um, yeah right. Just because I might want a man to carry my child and give birth to it, doesn't mean it's going to happen, either. 
Oh well. 
Yeah, that was a quite knowledgeable post coming from an allegedly heterosexual man...
