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Old 09-22-2011, 03:18 PM
 
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what do you think of that?

me personally, they would be because that person must really love me that much enough to trust me with something like that.
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Old 09-22-2011, 03:25 PM
 
Location: Chicago
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Well, I don't think that would disqualify someone from being marriage material, but I don't think sharing secrets alone makes someone marriage material, either. I mean, some people share their deeper secrets a lot more easily than others.
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Old 09-22-2011, 03:29 PM
 
Location: Washington, DC area
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I agree, I don't think that sharing secrets alone makes someone marriage material. Not just because some people share secrets easier than others, but also becasue there are lots of other considerations when determining whether someone is marriage material. If someone shared their deep secrets with me, I'd think that they were comfortable with me and trusted me...which is a good start!
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Old 09-22-2011, 04:09 PM
 
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If these deep dark secrets reveal the person to be something like a child molester or a serial killer than no, I would NOT view that person as marriage material.

Best if one would concentrate more on the five areas the "experts" say to focus on-personality, attraction, brains, goals and values.
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Old 09-22-2011, 04:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by the nation is still angry View Post
what do you think of that?

me personally, they would be because that person must really love me that much enough to trust me with something like that.
I'm not sure...I'd have to say, maybe no, if it's right away. If you've known each other for a while and you're beginning to open up to one another with more sensitive info, then that's a different matter.

I'd be a little scared of a guy who burst into tears over his Waldorf salad on our first date about how his mom used to slap him every morning, frankly. I'd expect any guy in front of whom I'd wept over my Starbuck's at our second get-together to drop me like a hot potato, too.

But over time I'd expect us to open up to one another.
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Old 09-22-2011, 04:56 PM
 
5,503 posts, read 5,566,526 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Funny how? View Post
If these deep dark secrets reveal the person to be something like a child molester or a serial killer than no, I would NOT view that person as marriage material.

Best if one would concentrate more on the five areas the "experts" say to focus on-personality, attraction, brains, goals and values.

Yes to last line.
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Old 09-22-2011, 05:21 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
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I guess that would be one of about 50 criteria.
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Old 09-22-2011, 05:23 PM
 
Location: southern california
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secrets get shared alot just like double beds.
dont bet on intimacy faked or real as the true measure of character.
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Old 09-23-2011, 09:51 AM
 
Location: NY
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I would say inability to share deepest secrets could be a deal breaker to marriage. You have to be able to communicate in a close and intimate way with your spouse on any issue.

However, being able to talk about highly personal things is certainly not the only criteria either.
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Old 09-23-2011, 10:39 AM
 
538 posts, read 1,521,332 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nikitakolata View Post
Well, I don't think that would disqualify someone from being marriage material, but I don't think sharing secrets alone makes someone marriage material, either. I mean, some people share their deeper secrets a lot more easily than others.
Exactly; heck, I have a habit of sharing my deepest secrets with total strangers, but I wouldn't marry total strangers.
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