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Im feeling down but started to get picked back up now.
Im 27. Never had a steady girlfriend. I grew up in a not so loving family except my sisters, my parents are alcoholics and my dad died 2 years ago. So its not been easy for me.
So I have had problems with feelings and self worth..
Anyways I finally met a girl through mutual friends 2 months ago
She had come out of a emotinally abusive relationship 3 months prior to we started hanging out.
We met at a party and ended up having sex that night and following morning. She had insanely high interest in me. Kept texting/pursuing all the time. We always kept convos light and funny.
Made plans and we hung out once/twice a week for about 2 months. We had great chemistry and great sex. I thought we connected and could see a future with her. She kept talking so warm about our future, that she was so happy to found me cause Im such a good person, looking forward for me to meet her parents etc.
I never pressed the boyfriend topic but in retrospect I may have portrayed too much interest when I hung out with her.
Still I never demanded anything from her or try to control her in any way. She came and went as she pleased.
She suddenly got extremely to busy to hang out. Stopped writing to me as much. I kept the cool and told her to get back to me when she wanted to do something. We then made new plans but she kept blowing me off last minute. Like many times for weeks. She acted distant not eager to meet me.
She then went to some birthdayparty a few weeks ago and was posting so much off herself clinging to other guys and flirting etc. I did not say anything to her about this. (Partly cause we were drifting apart and not exlusive) But my friends called and was like what the hell. They thought we were almost together.
She called me following morning asked if I was mad at her.
She went on about that she has lots of problems with herself since her breakup, needs time, not ready for relationship. She do have problems with anxiety and depression. And told me these pictures are not as it looks and shes not ****ing around with everyone.
I said no, Im not mad at you. I do however get mad when people flake. Disrespect by not valuing my time, and I feel shes slipping away and acting different. I said wont press her for anything as far as relationship and I applaud that shes working on herself, and she does however she pleases. But I wont allow people to treat me badly. I have cut out people in my life who dont care about me.
She then made new plans for a hangout but whatyaknow. She flaked last minute with BS excuse.
Its been very quiet between us for a week and she reached out on my birthday last week with a long message wishing me happy birthday and that shes stuck in some family thing far away(this was actually true) if not she would come over with cake, blabla and she hope Im well and hope she will see me soon. I really just seen this as some facesaving BS to try to keep me on the hook or as a backup.
Still Ive seen shes out drinking with guys this weekend on my snapchat and a friend of mine was 95% sure she went home with another guy last night.
Of course now and for the last week Ive really started to realise that this **** aint going anywhere and I dont see any point in keeping her in my life.
but Im really down about the way everything ended. I kinda feel like she used me as a rebound and threw me away.
She toyed with me and just wanted to keep me on the fence. Funny. Because she said she hated people who have done this to her and shes a giving person.
I actually just deleted her from facebook and snapchat cause I dont want to see all the **** shes posting. I do feel however that she will see this as me being bitter/overreactive. Still I did tell her this is what I do to people who treat me like trash.
Im almost just waiting for hell to break lose from my friends because Ive done this. Funny what the world has come to with social media.
I really do believe Im a good person, and I would never use another person like she did. My life philosofy is that I just want other people to feel good and happy.
People always ask me why I dont have a GF but I just cannot seem to keep them hooked..
Idunno not asking for advice. Just felt like venting.
*Only thing Im not so sure about is that IF she ask me why I deleted her from social media. Im not sure if I should answer at all or tell her why or give her some BS excuse.
Im feeling down but started to get picked back up now.
Im 27. Never had a steady girlfriend. I grew up in a not so loving family except my sisters, my parents are alcoholics and my dad died 2 years ago. So its not been easy for me.
So I have had problems with feelings and self worth..
Anyways I finally met a girl through mutual friends 2 months ago
She had come out of a emotinally abusive relationship 3 months prior to we started hanging out.
We met at a party and ended up having sex that night and following morning. She had insanely high interest in me. Kept texting/pursuing all the time. We always kept convos light and funny.
Made plans and we hung out once/twice a week for about 2 months. We had great chemistry and great sex. I thought we connected and could see a future with her. She kept talking so warm about our future, that she was so happy to found me cause Im such a good person, looking forward for me to meet her parents etc.
I never pressed the boyfriend topic but in retrospect I may have portrayed too much interest when I hung out with her.
Still I never demanded anything from her or try to control her in any way. She came and went as she pleased.
She suddenly got extremely to busy to hang out. Stopped writing to me as much. I kept the cool and told her to get back to me when she wanted to do something. We then made new plans but she kept blowing me off last minute. Like many times for weeks. She acted distant not eager to meet me.
She then went to some birthdayparty a few weeks ago and was posting so much off herself clinging to other guys and flirting etc. I did not say anything to her about this. (Partly cause we were drifting apart and not exlusive) But my friends called and was like what the hell. They thought we were almost together.
She called me following morning asked if I was mad at her.
She went on about that she has lots of problems with herself since her breakup, needs time, not ready for relationship. She do have problems with anxiety and depression. And told me these pictures are not as it looks and shes not ****ing around with everyone.
I said no, Im not mad at you. I do however get mad when people flake. Disrespect by not valuing my time, and I feel shes slipping away and acting different. I said wont press her for anything as far as relationship and I applaud that shes working on herself, and she does however she pleases. But I wont allow people to treat me badly. I have cut out people in my life who dont care about me.
She then made new plans for a hangout but whatyaknow. She flaked last minute with BS excuse.
Its been very quiet between us for a week and she reached out on my birthday last week with a long message wishing me happy birthday and that shes stuck in some family thing far away(this was actually true) if not she would come over with cake, blabla and she hope Im well and hope she will see me soon. I really just seen this as some facesaving BS to try to keep me on the hook or as a backup.
Still Ive seen shes out drinking with guys this weekend on my snapchat and a friend of mine was 95% sure she went home with another guy last night.
Of course now and for the last week Ive really started to realise that this **** aint going anywhere and I dont see any point in keeping her in my life.
but Im really down about the way everything ended. I kinda feel like she used me as a rebound and threw me away.
She toyed with me and just wanted to keep me on the fence. Funny. Because she said she hated people who have done this to her and shes a giving person.
I actually just deleted her from facebook and snapchat cause I dont want to see all the **** shes posting. I do feel however that she will see this as me being bitter/overreactive. Still I did tell her this is what I do to people who treat me like trash.
Im almost just waiting for hell to break lose from my friends because Ive done this. Funny what the world has come to with social media.
I really do believe Im a good person, and I would never use another person like she did. My life philosofy is that I just want other people to feel good and happy.
People always ask me why I dont have a GF but I just cannot seem to keep them hooked..
Idunno not asking for advice. Just felt like venting.
*Only thing Im not so sure about is that IF she ask me why I deleted her from social media. Im not sure if I should answer at all or tell her why or give her some BS excuse.
It's not bitter or "overreactive" to block people who treat you like crap. It's smart.
Stop worrying what other people think and listen to your instincts. For the most part, they sound pretty good.
You may not have been a rebound, per se, but you were definitely played and used by someone who clearly has very bad emotional problems. Some people get used to chaos in their lives and recreate it whenever they are with someone new.
If she does ask, you don't owe her a response, but you would be well within your rights to tell her that you don't feel the need to interact with people who treat you badly.
Im feeling down but started to get picked back up now.
Im 27. Never had a steady girlfriend. I grew up in a not so loving family except my sisters, my parents are alcoholics and my dad died 2 years ago. So its not been easy for me.
So I have had problems with feelings and self worth..
Anyways I finally met a girl through mutual friends 2 months ago
She had come out of a emotinally abusive relationship 3 months prior to we started hanging out.
We met at a party and ended up having sex that night and following morning. She had insanely high interest in me. Kept texting/pursuing all the time. We always kept convos light and funny.
Made plans and we hung out once/twice a week for about 2 months. We had great chemistry and great sex. I thought we connected and could see a future with her. She kept talking so warm about our future, that she was so happy to found me cause Im such a good person, looking forward for me to meet her parents etc.
I never pressed the boyfriend topic but in retrospect I may have portrayed too much interest when I hung out with her.
Still I never demanded anything from her or try to control her in any way. She came and went as she pleased.
She suddenly got extremely to busy to hang out. Stopped writing to me as much. I kept the cool and told her to get back to me when she wanted to do something. We then made new plans but she kept blowing me off last minute. Like many times for weeks. She acted distant not eager to meet me.
She then went to some birthdayparty a few weeks ago and was posting so much off herself clinging to other guys and flirting etc. I did not say anything to her about this. (Partly cause we were drifting apart and not exlusive) But my friends called and was like what the hell. They thought we were almost together.
She called me following morning asked if I was mad at her.
She went on about that she has lots of problems with herself since her breakup, needs time, not ready for relationship. She do have problems with anxiety and depression. And told me these pictures are not as it looks and shes not ****ing around with everyone.
I said no, Im not mad at you. I do however get mad when people flake. Disrespect by not valuing my time, and I feel shes slipping away and acting different. I said wont press her for anything as far as relationship and I applaud that shes working on herself, and she does however she pleases. But I wont allow people to treat me badly. I have cut out people in my life who dont care about me.
She then made new plans for a hangout but whatyaknow. She flaked last minute with BS excuse.
Its been very quiet between us for a week and she reached out on my birthday last week with a long message wishing me happy birthday and that shes stuck in some family thing far away(this was actually true) if not she would come over with cake, blabla and she hope Im well and hope she will see me soon. I really just seen this as some facesaving BS to try to keep me on the hook or as a backup.
Still Ive seen shes out drinking with guys this weekend on my snapchat and a friend of mine was 95% sure she went home with another guy last night.
Of course now and for the last week Ive really started to realise that this **** aint going anywhere and I dont see any point in keeping her in my life.
but Im really down about the way everything ended. I kinda feel like she used me as a rebound and threw me away.
She toyed with me and just wanted to keep me on the fence. Funny. Because she said she hated people who have done this to her and shes a giving person.
I actually just deleted her from facebook and snapchat cause I dont want to see all the **** shes posting. I do feel however that she will see this as me being bitter/overreactive. Still I did tell her this is what I do to people who treat me like trash.
Im almost just waiting for hell to break lose from my friends because Ive done this. Funny what the world has come to with social media.
I really do believe Im a good person, and I would never use another person like she did. My life philosofy is that I just want other people to feel good and happy.
People always ask me why I dont have a GF but I just cannot seem to keep them hooked..
Idunno not asking for advice. Just felt like venting.
*Only thing Im not so sure about is that IF she ask me why I deleted her from social media. Im not sure if I should answer at all or tell her why or give her some BS excuse.
Wait until you get into your mid-30's. Most of the women you meet will want commitment.
No, you don't give her a BS excuse. If you feel the need to answer at all...………….
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
If she does ask, you don't owe her a response, but you would be well within your rights to tell her that you don't feel the need to interact with people who treat you badly.
It's not bitter or "overreactive" to block people who treat you like crap. It's smart.
Stop worrying what other people think and listen to your instincts. For the most part, they sound pretty good.
You may not have been a rebound, per se, but you were definitely played and used by someone who clearly has very bad emotional problems. Some people get used to chaos in their lives and recreate it whenever they are with someone new.
If she does ask, you don't owe her a response, but you would be well within your rights to tell her that you don't feel the need to interact with people who treat you badly.
Hi!
Funny thing is I remembered when I was telling her this about how bad she was treating me by blowing me off she was all like: wait whaat, no I dont feel like Im doing this, thats not my intentions, when have I done this etc.
Funny thing is I remembered when I was telling her this about how bad she was treating me by blowing me off she was all like: wait whaat, no I dont feel like Im doing this, thats not my intentions, when have I done this etc.
Well of course she can't act as if it's intentional. Otherwise she would be a monster.
It's just who she is. All that matters is that it isn't for you, and hopefully now you have learned some red flags to look out for in the future.
Yeah.. I can see now our values dont add up. But I did not thought she was like this considering her last relationship lasted 3 years.
I dont see why the f we cant just be honest to eachother.
Still this rejection hurt me bad because of so much **** thats happened the last year and I got really invested in her.
Considering ive never had a steady GF and thr few times Ive tried Ive gotten rejected like this it just reinforces the feeling that I will stay single forever. Man, sorry for much self pity from me, but I get frustrated.
Its funny cause in other aspects in my life I have thing fairly lined up. I own a big house (which is rare for single person in my country), Im valued and a key employee at the workshop I work and I maintain my finances well. Also have hobbies I love, like fishing and guitar.
Just feel like a GF now would be the right thing for me.
Is it time to hit the bar with friends next weekend?
I’m not really understanding this. You both seem to have gotten what you wanted, which was sex without commitment.
Her saying she looks forward to introducing you to her parents should have made you pause. You should have asked her at that point if she wanted to be exclusive. You can’t assume something like that just cuz you are having sex and hanging out a lot.
Did you want a commitment with her? Why do you think you weren’t able to tell her that if that’s what you wanted?
You said you aren’t asking for advice but here it is anyways:
I’d advise to hold off on sex with someone you think you might want to be in a realationship wit until at least a couple of dates.
Try not to feel down. Think about the good sex you had and the lessons learned. You’ll meet someone else.
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