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dont isolate get counseling. join a support group asap.
you had a life before him-- you have a life after him.
we get a second chance at love (if we want it) down the road, but breakups are an opportunity for
self improvement.
Maybe you made him into a "hero", "a saint" in your mind. All people have weaknesses. Find his and focus on them, to help you cope.
Special connections are great. But they repeat. You will have a special connection again with someone.
I think the best way to forget is to go on rebound. Join some dating website and try new people. You are hoping that he will return and that's probably what's holding you back. Tell yourself that he died and that you need to move on.
The fact that it did not work out between you two shows that things were not as perfect as you made them out to be in your head. He must not have loved you as much as you did him. You need someone who loves you. So this was not the right person for you.
What helps me is to think that Life is MOMENTS. Tell yourself that life consists of good and bad moments. Good ones are there for us to enjoy. But they will end. Always. And the bad ones are there to survive through, to pass through. And they will come. Always. Everything is temporary. Everything passes.
Life is about a set of different experiences. You had one experience. Now you are having another one. It's all adding up to your experiences. Now go get another experience. Do something crazy (for you). (Sometimes I feel like doing something like that when I feel bad). Maybe that will help to alleviate.
Sign up on interpals website and see if you can talk to people. Don't think of them as your future guy, but just think of them as "good times to have temporarily". And maybe you will even find someone. But the most important thing: focus on moments. And know that bad moments will always follow the good ones and you just have to accept it. And that might help to bear them.
This was our site, and i haven't changed it a bit, but i haven't been on anymore, this was our dream to move to New York. Now, why bother? Today is our would-be anniversary. I am serverely depressed and my life is still upside down, and it's been almost 4 months since he left. I wonder if he will contact me today. I pray he will, and i just hurt so bad i know i am not even making any sense. I can't explain what all has ahppened, or how i feel. just that i need him. And i don't want to go on without him another day. I can't do thisd anymore. Time keeps flying by, and i just watch. I have tried so hard to go on, and i have been doing good. But i can't imagine my life without my other half. He's the reason i breathe, HOW do i go on? Wisdom please. Make this little girl believe i have a reason to go on.
I'm sorry your feeling all this pain, darlin'.
Yes, it will take time, but you will meet a new love.
I know it hurts, and I'm sorry for that. But seldom is the person you meet in high school right for you. You will change a lot over the next decade, and meet men more appropriate for who you become.
You have to make a concerted effort to maintain emotional balance (go work out, throw yourself into studying...) or you'll end up like some posters on this thread!
My patented, Five Part, Never Fails, Get Over A Breakup plan:
1) Watch some movies featuring strong women kicking a**, to remind you a woman can be strong and amazing regardless of whether or not there's a man in her life: Alien, Suckerpunch, Ultraviolet, Tomb Raider, Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, etc.
2) If you've got an iPod or other MP3 player, make a playlist of "good riddance!" songs; listen to it often, sing along, get all the rage and sadness out of your system and look forward to the day you no longer feel like listening to it. Try: You Oughta Know by Alanis Morrisette, Believe by Cher, You're So Vain by Carly Simon, You're No Good by Linda Rhonstadt, Even It Up by Heart, Big Gun by Ice-T, Cell Block Tango from the Chicago soundtrack, Crucify by Tori Amos, Everything Back But You and I Can Do Better by Avril Lavigne, Express Yourself by Madonna, I'm Not OK by My Chemical Romance and Love Me Dead by Ludo.
3) Find another obsession to replace your obsession about HIM, and make it something that will make you feel good about yourself, and maybe even look back on the breakup with gratitude someday since that was what spurred you toward this great, new thing. What have you always wanted to try, but never have? Writing? Art? Music lessons? Take this opportunity, and all the time and energy you used to devote to HIM, and shift the focus back to YOU.
4) Anytime you realize you're stuck in a 'bad thoughts' track or feel a sudden pang of despair, immediately do 5 stomach crunches. If you're in public or someplace else where you can't lie down to do them, just tighten and release your abs 5 times. The physical activity makes your brain yank the needle out of the obsessive thoughts record so it can focus on the coordination needed to do the crunches, and believe it or not, when you're done your mind will NOT immediately jump right back to the bad thoughts. Bonus: by the time the bad thoughts are completely gone you'll have a flatter stomach, the better to appeal to someone new when you're ready.
5) Remember: nobody who's totally happy with their relationship breaks up, and nobody who's in a happy marriage gets a divorce. The fact that you've broken up is proof that the relationship was not a happy one. Change is hard, and growth doesn't often come without some hard lessons. You can't build a new house until the old one has been completely demolished. You're not a loser or a failure, you're clearing your life's decks for whatever's next, for something better. That's a GOOD thing.
Your young, your brain isn't even done forming yet. Fortunately, Most the entire population has no regrets over high school break ups just a few years later. I know that doesn't help now, but you will recover and it won't be forever!
Maybe you made him into a "hero", "a saint" in your mind. All people have weaknesses. Find his and focus on them, to help you cope.
Special connections are great. But they repeat. You will have a special connection again with someone.
I think the best way to forget is to go on rebound. Join some dating website and try new people. You are hoping that he will return and that's probably what's holding you back. Tell yourself that he died and that you need to move on.
The fact that it did not work out between you two shows that things were not as perfect as you made them out to be in your head. He must not have loved you as much as you did him. You need someone who loves you. So this was not the right person for you.
What helps me is to think that Life is MOMENTS. Tell yourself that life consists of good and bad moments. Good ones are there for us to enjoy. But they will end. Always. And the bad ones are there to survive through, to pass through. And they will come. Always. Everything is temporary. Everything passes.
Life is about a set of different experiences. You had one experience. Now you are having another one. It's all adding up to your experiences. Now go get another experience. Do something crazy (for you). (Sometimes I feel like doing something like that when I feel bad). Maybe that will help to alleviate.
Sign up on interpals website and see if you can talk to people. Don't think of them as your future guy, but just think of them as "good times to have temporarily". And maybe you will even find someone. But the most important thing: focus on moments. And know that bad moments will always follow the good ones and you just have to accept it. And that might help to bear them.
Thank you very much, i will try to see life in "moments"
Your young, your brain isn't even done forming yet. Fortunately, Most the entire population has no regrets over high school break ups just a few years later. I know that doesn't help now, but you will recover and it won't be forever!
You know, i really hope you're right and i look back and shake my head like i do some of my other relatiosnhips i thought were "serious", but i didnt know what serious was then. I just wish the time would come sooner
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