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My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. He lives in an apartment close to me and I spend a lot of time at his place. His lease is expiring shortly and he is planning on moving closer to work. We had discussed renting a place together when he first moved into his apartment but now I get the feeling he wants to keep things separate as they have been. He has looked at some places without me an has not really divulged any details about his plans.
I really would like to consider getting a place together so we wouldn’t both be paying rent when we spend 5-6 nights together a week anyway. If he moves, my 5min drive to his place will turn into a 45 min drive and my commute to work will almost double if I stay there overnight.
I'm afraid if he chooses to do this solo it will really put a strain on me and our relationship (lots of commuting back and forth and living like a nomad out of bags etc).
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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If he's not jumping (for joy, that is) at cohabitation, I wouldn't even consider it. I hate the idea of half-hearted commitments or feeling I'm talking them into something. I want unbridled enthusiasm.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. He lives in an apartment close to me and I spend a lot of time at his place. His lease is expiring shortly and he is planning on moving closer to work. We had discussed renting a place together when he first moved into his apartment but now I get the feeling he wants to keep things separate as they have been. He has looked at some places without me an has not really divulged any details about his plans.
I really would like to consider getting a place together so we wouldn’t both be paying rent when we spend 5-6 nights together a week anyway. If he moves, my 5min drive to his place will turn into a 45 min drive and my commute to work will almost double if I stay there overnight.
I'm afraid if he chooses to do this solo it will really put a strain on me and our relationship (lots of commuting back and forth and living like a nomad out of bags etc).
Any advice?
IMO, moving in together to save money is not a good idea. Both people should be eager and willing to live together, not just to save on finances. I think it's a red flag if he's not discussing his plans with you, and I'd encourage you to talk to him so you're not guessing at the status of your relationship and future plans.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,010,901 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
IMO, moving in together to save money is not a good idea. Both people should be eager and willing to live together, not just to save on finances. I think it's a red flag if he's not discussing his plans with you, and I'd encourage you to talk to him so you're not guessing at the status of your relationship and future plans.
I agree with this. Talk if you must but that he's not discussing it with you says it all to me.
You can talk to him about renting a place together, but if he is already looking for a place for himself, you really need to accept the fact that he just may not want what you do! Like already stated, you can talk to him, but just be ready for "no, I'm not ready for that" or whatever he may say to you that you don't want to hear!
It's a big mistake to shack up, cause when you start having problems someone will have to move out. That makes for a big mess. If you love him let him go, if he says he loves you make him come to your house to visit, put the pressure on him I guarantee he runs away.
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