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To the OP. I have to ask why your on a dating site in the first place. You seem intellegent, your more then easy one the eyes. So what's wrong with the guys where you live? It might not be something they are doing it might be you. Something that your not seeing at least.
aw thats a sweet thought.
hm its something i quite openly wonder about as well. but its mostly to do with how i dont have an immediate social outlet these days. so i resorted to try to find a boy via social media.
i just look at the pics then i know if im gonna message someone or not.
i read the profile after looking at the pics to make a message. if the profile is super boring or only has two sentences i usually wont bother though even if the girl is hot
i see you posted what you're looking for. its too long and boring. cut it down to 2-3 sentences.
hey can you guys read this and give me suggestions about how to improve the content? please and thank you!!!
Way too wordy. You write a novel without saying anthing and yet you claim to be straightforward. You include all kinds of vague limitations and end up essentially saying "Do not bother. Whomever you are, you will not meet my standards." You do not need to discuss your looks, you have a photograph and it makes you sound a bit conceited to carry on about how hot exotic or beautiful you are. Why do you raise multiculturalism and interracial issues? Are these hang ups for you?
Correct the grammar and punctuation. Sloppy writing is fine some place like CD, but here you are trying to tel someone who you are and what you are about. Proper grammar and punctuation is not going to chase anyone away, but poor grammar and punctuation very well could, especially if you are looking for an intellectual. You are a college graduate. Assuming that you want to attract other college graduates, show that you learned something.
This information sends the wrong message. It sends a negative message that is probably not even true. As written, your infomration says "I tend to babble a lot and not say much. I like to appear intellectual but I really did not pay attention in school. I am very very picky. In fact no one will be satisfactory, but go ahead and send a message so I can shoot you down. I am very religious (I would assume Muslim from your information - Christians need not apply). I do not do much. I like to sit at home and watch TV. If I find the right rich guy, he can support me and make me happy and I will do nothing. "
I do not think these things are true of you and if not, this is nto the message that you want to send.
Summary.
I am 24. I recently graduated from UVA and I have an optimistic outlook on life. I am straightforward and a good listener. I like people who can maintain a meaningful conversation. My faith (which?) and my family are very important to me.
I enjoy:
Photography, dining, music (what kind?), dancing, socializing (what does this mean? Clubbing? Attending church meetings? You have a lot of parties?), health (meaning what? You like to work out? You eat very selectively? you are in the medical profession?), beauty (you like fashion shows? You like sitting around looking beautiful? You like getting your hair done? You like to read beauty or fashion magazines? Not much appealing to a guy in this statement), and surfing the internet.
(Rather than simply cleaning up the hodge-podge of interests scattered throughout your message, I suggest that you delete this list and start over. Do you like to DO anything? Canoeing, hiking, rock climbing, movies, what could a potential beau anticipate taking you to do? Based on your list, I would think that you want to go to dinner and a fashion show ,or your date could sit around with you and your sister and watch TV all night. Do you like art? Theater? outdoor activities? Hot air ballooning? You like seeing things. What does that mean? You are glad that oyu re not blind? You like to travel? What kinds of things do you like to see? Grand Canyon? Sex shows? Cities? Fruit trees?
Give them some idea of what you might do together. You could sit around all day being beautiful and healthy together, but that does not sound like much fun. You like to go out to eat, that is a good start. You like a certain type of music listening to it or playing it? Photography - Meh. Do you really care if a guy is also interested in photography? Not too many guys will say "Ooh she likes photography, I want to go out with her." Creepers might think that will be able to get a nude photo though. You may want to leave out dancing unless that is really important to you. That may scare lots of guys off. Most guys do not like dancing. Make a new list and include interesting things that a guy could do with you.)
Favorites:
Books:
The great gatsby, the waste land, in our time, the sun also rises, portrait of the artist as a young man, batman: the long halloween, midnight's children
(Narrow the list to two or three. Include books that tell something about you and that people are likely to know. Use the correct titles and punctuation).
movies:
the dark night, batman: mask of the phantasm, shakespeare in love, lost in translation, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, fight club, babel, breakfast at tiffany's, how to steal a million, the prince of egypt
(Narrow the list. See above re: Books. Use correct punctuation)
tv:
mad men! i also regularly keep up with the kardashians lol
(Really? This seems to say "I am pretty shallow" Maybe you should delete this)
food: turkish, south asian, italian, iranian
(This is interesting at least. It tells a guy that they could take you to an exotic restaurant for dinner before going back to watch TV with your sister).
I’m looking for
Straight guys only
Ages 24-30
Near me
Who are single
For:
new friends (makes no sense, you only want single straight guys your age, but just want to be friends? Delete this one), long-term dating, short-term dating (meaning what? A quickie? I am just going to date you until I find someone better? Delete) , activity partners (What the heck is this? Sexual activity? Shuffleboard? Depending on the person, this sounds either kinky or reminiscent of an old folks home), long-distance penpals (Ok this is funny. Only straight single young men who are good conversationalists and live nearby, but I just want to send you a letter once in a while. A dating site is not where you advertise for penpals.)
Here perhaps you can add if you want this concept included:
'Sometimes a date leads to friendship, sometimes to romance. I am open to either."
ADD:
I am not interested in:
Casual Sex.
Friends with benefits
Egomanics (I am not sure why you bother with this. No one thinks of themselves as a person who says "What else do you want to know about me).
Delete all of your restrictions and requirements. This is what chases people away. No one is going to view themselves negatively if they have the listed traits or lack them. This is what pre-dating communication is all about. Figure out whether they are egocentric, or good conversationalists by talking with them before you go on a date.
- know what you want and are up front about your desires and intentions.
(I thought that you wanted a guy between 24 and 30?)
(Do you really think anyone is going to say "Oh I do not know what i want. I will not bother responding." "I am deceptive about my desires and intentions, I guess I will not chase this girl." You have to weed these out yourself. This statement accomplishes nothing and kind of says that you have a low opinion of men in general)
-intelligent and worldly with a thirst for knowledge and exploration
(Geeks only? How many guys think that they are unintelligent? Worldly? You want a guy that is not spiritual? I thought faith was important to you? Do you mean wealthy? ambitious? Say what you mean. Better yet, leave this out. Are you a gold digger? If so, say so. "I am hot and I want a guy with money." This will save you some time.)
(If you want someone intelligent, you need to come off as intelligent. Smart guys usually are not interested in a pretty dingbat (except for casual sex). Eliminate the misspellings bad grammar incorrect titles of movies and books, eliminate the illogical and contradictory statements.)
- good conversaionalist
(First of all this is really silly when misspelled. Second, who is going to view themselves as a bad conversationalist? Figure this out from further communications.)
Last edited by Coldjensens; 10-27-2011 at 09:07 AM..
BTW Why do you not list "The Ambassadors" amongst your books? If you use Maria Gostrey as a moniker on the dating site, and you are looking for intellectual types, they are likely to recognize the name. This will cause them to wonder why you use that name but apparently do nto like the story. Also they will wonder is she trying to be like Maria Gostrey? Is that her fantasy? Everything you write will be analyzed by a potential suitor, at least a thinking suitor. Some of them will nto get beyond the photograph, but I do not think that those are the ones you are looking for according to your description.
If I was a guy, and someone said that they graduated from university, I would expect a lot more in the punctuation and capital letters arena. That to me, would be the biggest reason she is not getting replies. If I was a guy I would think "She has a university degree and can't even be bothered to take the time and care to write up her profile properly? What kind of care would she give to a relationship? Next!" I honestly am not trying to be mean - but think about it please. Here in a forum, pretty much anything goes for spelling and punctuation, but taking time to write a properly constructed sentence in a dating profile shows you are at least slightly interested in impressing someone.
See, now I think you're attractive enough that you shouldn't feel you have to resort to tease pics like this--that make it look like or show that you're naked without actually showing everything. It looks desperate to me, whether men or women do it. Why do people feel they need to do this? I don't get it.
Exactly! And most men run quickly away from women who seem desperate. Only those guys who take advantage of desperate women will answer. It also wouldnt hurt if you look like WHYTE BYRD!
HAHA,,good point there Antlered.Reminds me of a funny story though - a former co-worker was a guy who was new to Match.com, and asked me to help him write a profile for the site. So I helped him write a nice Profile Bio and when he started browsing the site for women to email, he was so amazed by the fantastic pictures that he didn't really bother reading the profiles..He would just send off a short email about where she lived, her pic, etc.. It seemed to work just fine until he went on 1 date where the woman was just what he wanted - except she was divorced and had 5 kids, including 1 child that had Down Syndrome! If he had bothered to read the 3rd paragraph of her profile - he would have realized this and not wasted her time or his..
You're suppose to go back and read the profiles of the 3 our of a 100 that actually reply! :P
Exactly! And most men run quickly away from women who seem desperate. Only those guys who take advantage of desperate women will answer. It also wouldnt hurt if you look like WHYTE BYRD!
Way too wordy. You write a novel without saying anthing and yet you claim to be straightforward. You include all kinds of vague limitations and end up essentially saying "Do not bother. Whomever you are, you will not meet my standards." You do not need to discuss your looks, you have a photograph and it makes you sound a bit conceited to carry on about how hot exotic or beautiful you are. Why do you raise multiculturalism and interracial issues? Are these hang ups for you?
Correct the grammar and punctuation. Sloppy writing is fine some place like CD, but here you are trying to tel someone who you are and what you are about. Proper grammar and punctuation is not going to chase anyone away, but poor grammar and punctuation very well could, especially if you are looking for an intellectual. You are a college graduate. Assuming that you want to attract other college graduates, show that you learned something.
This information sends the wrong message. It sends a negative message that is probably not even true. As written, your infomration says "I tend to babble a lot and not say much. I like to appear intellectual but I really did not pay attention in school. I am very very picky. In fact no one will be satisfactory, but go ahead and send a message so I can shoot you down. I am very religious (I would assume Muslim from your information - Christians need not apply). I do not do much. I like to sit at home and watch TV. If I find the right rich guy, he can support me and make me happy and I will do nothing. "
I do not think these things are true of you and if not, this is nto the message that you want to send.
Summary.
I am 24. I recently graduated from UVA and I have an optimistic outlook on life. I am straightforward and a good listener. I like people who can maintain a meaningful conversation. My faith (which?) and my family are very important to me.
I enjoy:
Photography, dining, music (what kind?), dancing, socializing (what does this mean? Clubbing? Attending church meetings? You have a lot of parties?), health (meaning what? You like to work out? You eat very selectively? you are in the medical profession?), beauty (you like fashion shows? You like sitting around looking beautiful? You like getting your hair done? You like to read beauty or fashion magazines? Not much appealing to a guy in this statement), and surfing the internet.
(Rather than simply cleaning up the hodge-podge of interests scattered throughout your message, I suggest that you delete this list and start over. Do you like to DO anything? Canoeing, hiking, rock climbing, movies, what could a potential beau anticipate taking you to do? Based on your list, I would think that you want to go to dinner and a fashion show ,or your date could sit around with you and your sister and watch TV all night. Do you like art? Theater? outdoor activities? Hot air ballooning? You like seeing things. What does that mean? You are glad that oyu re not blind? You like to travel? What kinds of things do you like to see? Grand Canyon? Sex shows? Cities? Fruit trees?
Give them some idea of what you might do together. You could sit around all day being beautiful and healthy together, but that does not sound like much fun. You like to go out to eat, that is a good start. You like a certain type of music listening to it or playing it? Photography - Meh. Do you really care if a guy is also interested in photography? Not too many guys will say "Ooh she likes photography, I want to go out with her." Creepers might think that will be able to get a nude photo though. You may want to leave out dancing unless that is really important to you. That may scare lots of guys off. Most guys do not like dancing. Make a new list and include interesting things that a guy could do with you.)
Favorites:
Books:
The great gatsby, the waste land, in our time, the sun also rises, portrait of the artist as a young man, batman: the long halloween, midnight's children
(Narrow the list to two or three. Include books that tell something about you and that people are likely to know. Use the correct titles and punctuation).
movies:
the dark night, batman: mask of the phantasm, shakespeare in love, lost in translation, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, fight club, babel, breakfast at tiffany's, how to steal a million, the prince of egypt
(Narrow the list. See above re: Books. Use correct punctuation)
tv:
mad men! i also regularly keep up with the kardashians lol
(Really? This seems to say "I am pretty shallow" Maybe you should delete this)
food: turkish, south asian, italian, iranian
(This is interesting at least. It tells a guy that they could take you to an exotic restaurant for dinner before going back to watch TV with your sister).
I’m looking for
Straight guys only
Ages 24-30
Near me
Who are single
For:
new friends (makes no sense, you only want single straight guys your age, but just want to be friends? Delete this one), long-term dating, short-term dating (meaning what? A quickie? I am just going to date you until I find someone better? Delete) , activity partners (What the heck is this? Sexual activity? Shuffleboard? Depending on the person, this sounds either kinky or reminiscent of an old folks home), long-distance penpals (Ok this is funny. Only straight single young men who are good conversationalists and live nearby, but I just want to send you a letter once in a while. A dating site is not where you advertise for penpals.)
Here perhaps you can add if you want this concept included:
'Sometimes a date leads to friendship, sometimes to romance. I am open to either."
ADD:
I am not interested in:
Casual Sex.
Friends with benefits
Egomanics (I am not sure why you bother with this. No one thinks of themselves as a person who says "What else do you want to know about me).
Delete all of your restrictions and requirements. This is what chases people away. No one is going to view themselves negatively if they have the listed traits or lack them. This is what pre-dating communication is all about. Figure out whether they are egocentric, or good conversationalists by talking with them before you go on a date.
- know what you want and are up front about your desires and intentions.
(I thought that you wanted a guy between 24 and 30?)
(Do you really think anyone is going to say "Oh I do not know what i want. I will not bother responding." "I am deceptive about my desires and intentions, I guess I will not chase this girl." You have to weed these out yourself. This statement accomplishes nothing and kind of says that you have a low opinion of men in general)
-intelligent and worldly with a thirst for knowledge and exploration
(Geeks only? How many guys think that they are unintelligent? Worldly? You want a guy that is not spiritual? I thought faith was important to you? Do you mean wealthy? ambitious? Say what you mean. Better yet, leave this out. Are you a gold digger? If so, say so. "I am hot and I want a guy with money." This will save you some time.)
(If you want someone intelligent, you need to come off as intelligent. Smart guys usually are not interested in a pretty dingbat (except for casual sex). Eliminate the misspellings bad grammar incorrect titles of movies and books, eliminate the illogical and contradictory statements.)
- good conversaionalist
(First of all this is really silly when misspelled. Second, who is going to view themselves as a bad conversationalist? Figure this out from further communications.)
great suggestions. i will post you an updated profile. thanks so much for the very valid critique and suggestions!
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If he had bothered to read the 3rd paragraph of her profile - he would have realized this and not wasted her time or his..
