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Old 11-01-2011, 11:08 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
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If you were dating someone, things kinda moving along nicely, and then she found out she had breast cancer, would that end the relationship?


And if you met a woman who had already been through it, at what point would you think you should be told? And, again, would that be the end of the relationship?
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Old 11-01-2011, 11:14 AM
 
Location: Camberville
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Why just breast cancer?

I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma a few months into a relationship that seemed to be progressing well. I gave him an out upon diagnosis but begged him not to leave me halfway through. He got upset at the idea that he would leave me at diagnosis.

3 months into chemo, he couldn't "handle it" and left out of the blue.

I tell people I date on the first date (if not before). I don't have time for people who can't handle it.
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Old 11-01-2011, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Reno, NV
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I think it would depend on the stage/status of the relationship, the goals you have (e.g., having children) and whether they will remain possible (as well as how important such goals really are). This applies to any illness or life-changing event, not just cancer. I have experienced these choices, and have stayed - because the relationship was well-established and my love is not contingent on such things. If the relationship had not been established or solid, I might have chosen differently.
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Old 11-01-2011, 01:46 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,308,463 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PAhippo View Post
If you were dating someone, things kinda moving along nicely, and then she found out she had breast cancer, would that end the relationship?


And if you met a woman who had already been through it, at what point would you think you should be told? And, again, would that be the end of the relationship?
If you are only dating for fun and have no emotional investment in the woman yet, AND you are the kind of guy who can't handle something as scary as cancer, then walk. You'll be doing her a favor in the long run.

As a woman I would sure hope that even if the guy was scared out of his wits by this, he would be man enough to stick with me as a friend at the very least.

Just my opinion, but only a boy would rush to end the relationship. Real men don't let fear rule their lives
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:02 PM
 
366 posts, read 772,350 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PAhippo View Post
If you were dating someone, things kinda moving along nicely, and then she found out she had breast cancer, would that end the relationship?


And if you met a woman who had already been through it, at what point would you think you should be told? And, again, would that be the end of the relationship?
I would answer your first question by saying it would be incumbent upon her. Depending on a woman's age, her survival rate at stage 3c is 50%, so if I really cared about her, I'm certain I would want our relationship to continue.

I would also answer the second question pretty much in the same vein, therefore it would be a non-issue as far as I'm concerned.

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Old 11-01-2011, 02:06 PM
 
Location: On the Chesapeake
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I'd like to think no. But then my wife and I have been married 30 years.
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:12 PM
 
Location: Center of the universe
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Even though most of the time I can't stand her and we already know we'll be divorced after the kids grow up, I'd have no choice but to stay and try to help nurse her to health.
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:13 PM
 
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The woman my dad would have married if she didn't die (he wound up with my mom after she passed away) due to cancer. Not sure what kind, but he says he still misses her so really, if you love someone, does it matter?

One of my best friends has Spina Bifida. She's engaged now to a man who does so much for her. He doesn't have to be with her, especially when he knew what he was getting into when he met her. Her complications have been the worst I've seen in the 13 years I've known her, over the past 2 years which is when they met. Her fiance is an extraordinary man indeed for sticking by her and helping her though.

If you love someone, their health troubles won't push you away.
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:16 PM
 
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Quote:
would breast cancer affect your relationship?
I don't see how any relationship could be unaffected by breast cancer.
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:42 PM
 
Location: Bellingham, WA
9,726 posts, read 16,670,834 times
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It would affect the relationship one way or another, for sure. Whether I chose to stay in the relationship or not would depend on how far along we were. If we had been on a few dates that had gone well, but the idea of "love" hadn't even entered my mind and I wasn't really sure if it would at all, then no, I'd probably leave. I think both parties would be better off in that case. Like charolastra00 mentioned, I'd hate to rush into it only to find out later that maybe I couldn't handle it. This would be doubly bad if I began to realize that we weren't the best match in the first place. I think this would mainly apply to a relationship that hadn't progressed enough for me to be certain of my feelings.

If the relationship was farther along with that, and I was certain I loved her, well...actually I'm not sure. I've never been in a relationship like that. Naturally I'd like to think I'd most certainly stick with her through thick and thin. I'm immediately thinking of my former boss, who in her 50s found out she had breast cancer. Her husband was the quiet type, and in fact I never knew him to show much emotion at all. But she said during her battle with cancer he made it a daily habit to keep her in a positive mood, and refused to let her lose hope or feel defeated. She beat her cancer, and she said she thinks she would have given up on herself early on if it hadn't been for him. I can only hope that, placed in that same situation I'd do even half as well as he did. What a great guy!
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