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I'm being called a superficial hater here...and below is how it went down...
Ok so I was at the club this friday with some friends, male and female.
During this visit I approached some women, got turned down a couple of times, and then I just danced around for a while, and then went for a beer.
While standing there sipping, talking etc there was this noticably overweight girl who sort of approached me, so one of my female friends who was there seemed to try to "wingwoman" this girl by giving her compliments that would imply an agreement from me and so on.
So being polite I agreed she had the cutest dress everand had a certain glow to her in red...
So this girl starts coming on to me, and I turned her down saying something like
"I'm flattered but I'm dating someone".
I think she didn't believe me as she'd probable seen me talk to other girls before etc but she got the hint.
And today I met my female friend again, and we talked some and after a while she makes this really poisonous comment about how I'm such a superficial jerk turning down a girl who was overweight while I had just spent an hour and a half trying to chat other women up. I got a bit pissed, because I think I was as nice as I could be to a person I wasn't attracted to at all. My female friend basically said "if you can go for any woman with a skirt for half the night, why suddenly so selective?" etc The way I see it I don't have to justify who I'm attracted to.
But how superficial is it really?
I work out on average 1,5 to 2 hours/day, am very concious about what I eat etc I'm 6'4, 215~lbs, fit.
At her bodycomposition she have more than likely been aware of having a weightproblem for well more than a year, and never along the way has she halted the process and turned it. To me this means that she either lacks the knowledge, ambition or willpower to make a change.
And putting appearances aside, this would make for a huge clash in terms of lifestyles. I mean if I go on a tripp with a gf for example I wanna go snowboarding, bungeyjumping, riverrafting etc, would a notably overweight person even handle that?
So what do you think is considering someones weight as a dealbreaker really superficial?
I'm being called a superficial hater here...and below is how it went down...
Ok so I was at the club this friday with some friends, male and female.
During this visit I approached some women, got turned down a couple of times, and then I just danced around for a while, and then went for a beer.
While standing there sipping, talking etc there was this noticably overweight girl who sort of approached me, so one of my female friends who was there seemed to try to "wingwoman" this girl by giving her compliments that would imply an agreement from me and so on.
So being polite I agreed she had the cutest dress everand had a certain glow to her in red...
So this girl starts coming on to me, and I turned her down saying something like
"I'm flattered but I'm dating someone".
I think she didn't believe me as she'd probable seen me talk to other girls before etc but she got the hint.
And today I met my female friend again, and we talked some and after a while she makes this really poisonous comment about how I'm such a superficial jerk turning down a girl who was overweight while I had just spent an hour and a half trying to chat other women up. I got a bit pissed, because I think I was as nice as I could be to a person I wasn't attracted to at all. My female friend basically said "if you can go for any woman with a skirt for half the night, why suddenly so selective?" etc The way I see it I don't have to justify who I'm attracted to.
But how superficial is it really?
I work out on average 1,5 to 2 hours/day, am very concious about what I eat etc I'm 6'4, 215~lbs, fit.
At her bodycomposition she have more than likely been aware of having a weightproblem for well more than a year, and never along the way has she halted the process and turned it. To me this means that she either lacks the knowledge, ambition or willpower to make a change.
And putting appearances aside, this would make for a huge clash in terms of lifestyles. I mean if I go on a tripp with a gf for example I wanna go snowboarding, bungeyjumping, riverrafting etc, would a notably overweight person even handle that?
So what do you think is considering someones weight as a dealbreaker really superficial?
That same overweight woman probably wouldn't be into an overweight man so yeah dude forget them and do what you feel.
Maybe she's in the process of losing weight? Maybe she finally got over depression or maybe out of a relationship where she depended on eating for comfort? I've lost a bit of weight over the past few months because I was recently diagnosed with hypothyroidism, and I'm in the process of losing more. Recently, I came in contact with a guy who told me 'you'd be really cute if you lost weight' a few months ago and he started comig onto me. He was soundly rejected.
So maybe you should judge by character, because in most cases weight can be changed.
If you are complaining about body fat percentages within a 5% window you may be obsessed or shallow. But when its glaringly obvious to the point of it changes the body type its just a lifestyle factor as you already stated. Does your friend drink heavy boozers or smokers?
Maybe she's in the process of losing weight? Maybe she finally got over depression or maybe out of a relationship where she depended on eating for comfort? I've lost a bit of weight over the past few months because I was recently diagnosed with hypothyroidism, and I'm in the process of losing more. Recently, I came in contact with a guy who told me 'you'd be really cute if you lost weight' and he started comig onto me. He was soundly rejected.
So maybe you should judge by character, because in most cases weight can be changed.
Weight can be changed, absolutely, but people don't go 100 lbs+ overweight over night to begin with, and it's not gonna be shredded off over nigth neither for that matter.
I mean even if this gal started the morning after I met her, and did things fairly right she'd still probably have 2-3 year long voyage to go getting slimmed down.
But how superficial is it really?
I work out on average 1,5 to 2 hours/day, am very concious about what I eat etc I'm 6'4, 215~lbs, fit.
At her bodycomposition she have more than likely been aware of having a weightproblem for well more than a year, and never along the way has she halted the process and turned it. To me this means that she either lacks the knowledge, ambition or willpower to make a change.
An putting appearances aside, this would make for a huge clash in terms of lifestyles. I mean if I go on a tripp with a gf for example I wanna go snowboarding, bungeyjumping, riverrafting etc, would a notably overweight person even handle that?
So what do you think is considering someones weight as a dealbreaker really superficial?
Not at all. What turns me off and seems somewhat superficial is when people go out of their way to tell other people how many hours they spend at the gym and how careful they are about what they eat then compare everyone else to their standards and lifestyle while judging them for "inadequacies" and priorities.
I work out on average 1,5 to 2 hours/day, am very concious about what I eat etc I'm 6'4, 215~lbs, fit.
So clearly you take fitness seriously. So for no other reason, it seems like you woudl want someone with common interest.
Quote:
So what do you think is considering someones weight as a dealbreaker really superficial?
Not At All. I would not date someone I did not find attractive. For myself, I CAN find a man attractive who has a couple of extra pounds on him. But attraction has to be there. (No comb overs!)
What I find more appalling is the great American fat acceptance movement that would label you a hater for wanting to be attracted to a potential mate.
It's obvious her character is terrible if she cannot move on and find a different potential boyfriend to stalk at the nightclub. These mafia tactics are used a lot by insecure and angry women. It's sickening. Sometimes these loser women cannot understand that some men are gay don't want anything to do with women. And it's obvious that these narcissistic women have never looked into a mirror and objectively judged their appearance and made holistic changes: they prefer self-delusion to reality.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey
Maybe she's in the process of losing weight? Maybe she finally got over depression or maybe out of a relationship where she depended on eating for comfort? I've lost a bit of weight over the past few months because I was recently diagnosed with hypothyroidism, and I'm in the process of losing more. Recently, I came in contact with a guy who told me 'you'd be really cute if you lost weight' a few months ago and he started comig onto me. He was soundly rejected.
So maybe you should judge by character, because in most cases weight can be changed.
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