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I always try to put myself above these trivial society norms but can't shake it. I have tons of close guy friends too, but this guy was so cool so it's not like I'm incapable of close friendships with dudes, I have some VERY close guy friends, but the thing is I became close to them via military school and fraternity, so I'm not used to making male friends normally, it was usually a shared suffering kind of thing.
Exactly. You were in the same place at the same time doing the same thing with your other friends. You would have to create a scenario like that with new friends where there's a shared activity, even if it's just leisurely or for entertainment. You can do it. Like I said, upon just meeting guys just don't call each other up just to talk and nothing else like girls do.
Holy crap...is it just me or is society getting weird? When I was coming along, the guys who were "gay" were the one's befriending women. lol
Yeah, male friendships are initially built around common activities. Or just hanging out...in some form of social context.
Friendships are the MOST important relationships people can have/build in life. Our own society has lost site of this fact. People globally and in many societies generally have about five friends, they regularly gather with over their lifetimes.
When one is with a friend. You don't have to be someone's SO, you don't have to be a parent, or your job title. One can just be themself. It's well documented that one of the biggest keys to happiness in life is friendship.
50 years ago we were allowed to have friends. gloria steinem changed all that. from then on only women could have friends- men were to be isolated and to be controlled. and we bought it 100%. why?
150 years ago it wasn't uncommon for men to share a bed together in a hotel room for instance. You should read some of the flowery language with expressions of love and intimacy men wrote to each other via letters in the victorian era. I really miss that. Given my humor though, I can't help but reading those with a present-day society eye and chuckling over it.
In the ancient Greek language; there are four words for love that have very distinct meanings.
Agape refers to love for one's "god" or "spouse."
Eros refers to dating or platonic friendship
Philia refers to friendship
Storge refers to affection for one's children
Many generations ago, my GGGGG Grandfather had a friendship that lasted fifty years. One of his son's named their son after their father's best friend. The name has been carried down the line in some form or another in each succeeding generation.
Reading victorian era stuff would make me laugh too. Even funnier is visiting other countries where it's perfectly normal for close male friends to be seen in public holding hands.
I don't think such elements really fit the American culture. But I do think "bonding" is an important and neglected element for both genders with other members of their sex.
In some smaller American communities; I love watching people in their seventies and older. Gathering with other couples, mixed in with relatives and now single friends. It's a rare sense and feeling of a "bonded" community. Just beautiful.
If you talked for 2 hours it wouldn't be weird to exchange numbers or your YouTube account etc. etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTHokieFan
Had a party at my place last night and some random dude came over, friend of friend. So I noticed his class ring and he clearly went to VT and I found out we literally had everything in common. We talked for like 2 or 3 hours and hung out the entire time, totally platonic by the way (I know I've posted some "bicurous" threads here so just know it's 100% platonic). So the party ends and it's like an awkward "nice meeting you, I want to give you my number but don't want to come off as weird so hopefully I bump into you again."
I'm totally in need of some bro-time but can't get over the concept that I might be perceived as weird.
That's true expect for frat brothers who act gayer than the gays. I kid you not. They literally get into their underwear and do underwear runs on college campuses. Gays don't even do that otherwise they would be prosecuted by the far right and then executed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948
50 years ago we were allowed to have friends. gloria steinem changed all that. from then on only women could have friends- men were to be isolated and to be controlled. and we bought it 100%. why?
That's true expect for frat brothers who act gayer than the gays. I kid you not. They literally get into their underwear and do underwear runs on college campuses.
I wish society didn't make it "gay" for me to befriend other men
It's not gay or "gay" to befriend other men! Heterosexual men befriend each other all the time without the slightest hint of homoeroticism.
Does anyone remember that episode of Seinfeld --"The Boyfriend"-- where Jerry had a bromance with former New York Mets baseball player Keith Hernandez?
Just ask to see if he wants to grab a beer and watch something macho like MMA.
Exactly. Nothing wrong with making new friends. An old saying I like.."Make new friends but cherish and keep close the old ones."
People need to be around other people. Society is full of dumb cliches..Just enjoy!
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