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Old 09-09-2012, 08:12 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,236 posts, read 96,854,668 times
Reputation: 40151

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Quote:
Originally Posted by tufa4311 View Post
Well, I feel somewhat uncomfortable now due to Lariat's post - not a feeling I thought I would get in a forum. I can take honesty and realism, but Lariat just seemed to have a childish tantrum based on a post and bump...I'll just move forward, perhaps Lariat has issues that caused him/her to take offense..

I've gone through a divorce approx 6 mnths ago, pretty much your standard lack of communication and listening until something broke and papers were filed. We both had broken hearts, both love each other, both have not ruled out starting anew, if particular changes happened and with enough time.

I'm just trying to see if this is realistic. Has it happened to others. Do others know about it happening to friends or family. If so, I'm interested in the specifics - like the reason for the divorce, the length of marriage, of divorce, did they have kids, and the trigger of getting remarried.

On a side note - if I am breaking the forum rules in some way that caused Lariat to become upset please let me know.

Thanks for replying lovesMountains.
You are fine - Lariat was just being impatient - don't let it get to you

In a situation like yours time is your friend.

You both need time to process your feelings, work through for yourselves what you are each responsible for in how things fell apart and to understand what you each want going forward.

Reconciliations do happen of those who have already divorced, but they usually require a mature attitude and real change on each partners part.
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Old 09-10-2012, 02:36 PM
 
26,143 posts, read 30,046,750 times
Reputation: 27200
Quote:
Originally Posted by tufa4311 View Post
The horror....

Perhaps I have a decision to make and am looking for people that have gone through similar scenarios. I have one post and I bumped one other. Is there any particular reason you are taking personal issue with this Lariat?
Bumping threads for the sake of bumping them like you did is against the rules. If you'd posted something significant that's another story.
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Old 09-10-2012, 02:45 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,236 posts, read 96,854,668 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
Bumping threads for the sake of bumping them like you did is against the rules. If you'd posted something significant that's another story.
Really?? I need to go study those TOS as I never remember seeing you aren't supposed to bump old threads for new info
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Old 09-10-2012, 03:13 PM
 
27,957 posts, read 37,708,033 times
Reputation: 26197
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Really?? I need to go study those TOS as I never remember seeing you aren't supposed to bump old threads for new info
You are premitted to bring a thread back to life if there is new information. To bump for the sake of bumping is a no no around here.
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Old 09-10-2012, 03:40 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,236 posts, read 96,854,668 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SD4020 View Post
You are premitted to bring a thread back to life if there is new information. To bump for the sake of bumping is a no no around here.
Hmmm...I always read it as no bumping your own thread to increase your own rep. THAT was the no-no.

But I thought it was okay for new posters to bump a thread in hopes of getting other posters to post new info to help them.

Guess I had that wrong, thanks to all who "schooled" me
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Old 09-11-2012, 06:21 AM
 
13,768 posts, read 36,859,503 times
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You do have to put in new info and something useful not just 'anything new' or 'bump'.

Continue
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Old 09-11-2012, 08:54 PM
 
810 posts, read 1,709,946 times
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I say let it go the past is the past. I am currently with my ex from almost 20 years ago and honestly it was better left as a "what if."
People do not change, or at least in this case he hasn't changed and I doubt I have much either.
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Old 09-11-2012, 10:02 PM
 
27,957 posts, read 37,708,033 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lostinca View Post
I say let it go the past is the past. I am currently with my ex from almost 20 years ago and honestly it was better left as a "what if."
People do not change, or at least in this case he hasn't changed and I doubt I have much either.
There is an important detail: People do not change.

It is why getting back together never works. Why the argument that couples grow apart isn't totally valid. People DO NOT CHANGE.
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Old 09-11-2012, 10:42 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,236 posts, read 96,854,668 times
Reputation: 40151
Quote:
Originally Posted by SD4020 View Post
There is an important detail: People do not change.

It is why getting back together never works. Why the argument that couples grow apart isn't totally valid. People DO NOT CHANGE.
You really can't say that because 1) some people DO manage to get back together successfully and 2) people CAN change.

I've seen examples of these things myself, and I know I can't be the only one.

In addition, even if one partner doesn't "change", what can change is the other partners attitude toward them, or acceptance of them.

And that alone can be enough to make a second chance possible
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Old 09-11-2012, 10:52 PM
 
27,957 posts, read 37,708,033 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
You really can't say that because 1) some people DO manage to get back together successfully and 2) people CAN change.

I've seen examples of these things myself, and I know I can't be the only one.

In addition, even if one partner doesn't "change", what can change is the other partners attitude toward them, or acceptance of them.

And that alone can be enough to make a second chance possible
Focus on the exceptions that prove the rule.

I did say, yes it is true. People do not change. Their personality, their mannerisms, what is at the core of their being does not change.

Why waste time of second chances? They will likely do the same thing, again. Honestly... People may change, but often they don't. Anyone who says otherwise is foolish.

The old saying of "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me." Along the lines of deja moo.

If you want to give someone a second chance, fine. Be prepared to be disapointed.
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