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So about a week ago a good friend of mine floats an idea by me - if we could rent an RV relatively cheap, why not drive up to Penn State with a few other guys and tailgate the PSU-Notre Dame game? Most of my pals are alumni, would be a fun road trip to the old stomping grounds. Game tickets are selling for crazy $$$, but we'll just park in the tailgate lot and watch the game on TV, enjoying the atmosphere. (Anybody who's been to PSU can tell you that plenty of alumni do this during football season.) Hit the bars Saturday night then drive home on Sunday morning.
When I mention this proposal to my wife, she lets it go without much commentary. One week later, my buddy tells me that he found a 37-foot RV that sleeps 6, rentable at $300 a day. That's $150 apiece for the weekend, plus gas, food and beer. He puts down the deposit and the plan is set.
When my wife finds out I am going, she gets very upset. She thinks it is stupid that I would travel to a game I don't have tickets to. She doesn't understand how such an experience could possibly be any fun. She thinks I was talked into it by my friends. She's angry at the prospect of being abandoned for the weekend. And she says it is a sign that I will never grow up, which worries her most of all.
Is she overreacting, or am I just plain wrong here? I didn't expect her to be turning cartwheels, but I think she is taking it a bit far... it's your basic guys weekend, something I rarely do. Money is not an issue. Oh... and she just got back from a 10-day trip to see her mum, too.
When I told my buddy about my wife's reaction, he explained my wife's reaction as follows. He explained they all want their friends to have what they have, just not as good. If all her friends are having babies, she wants one. If all her friends are moving into swanky new houses, she wants one. If all her friends don't have to work and lounge around in an upscale country club all day, she wants that too. If the kids discussion is on tap, remember the "how much money you make" discussion is soon to come after.
You can't tell a woman anything and have her believe it. That would be logical. They need to see it themselves.
He said what we need to do is find a "double date" couple. Preferably with the guy in a crappy job and makes far less than me. And the wife is just beat up and bent out of shape all the time over having no children. Make sure the other wife is uglier too. They won't have much time to go out, so we'd probably end up at their apartment. All it takes to sooth is a woman is to compare her life to someone elses so she can feel better in comparison. Even if it's at the expense of her friends. If the wife has a problem, it's never about me and what I am doing, it's not even about this trip - because women don't care one lick about what men do for themselves. They don't even care what men do for the both of us. They only care when what men do for themselves doesn't do for them. Which is pretty much always.
My wife needs to see how having no children would be a negative impact on HER LIFE. She won't actually care if it has a negative impact on mine. Then have that basic "It's not good for her and only her" idea constantly reinforced. We need to give them the illusion of choice. And it has to be set it a frame work where it's all about them. Because they can only think on that level.
Thoughts?
Aren't you the same guy who just a few days ago wanted the hot babysitter as your additional wife? And you wonder why she is not happy about this little get together away from her? I don't understand the statement of " My wife nees to see how having no children would be a negative impact on HER LIFE. ????
Let me know who your wife is so I can talk to her, tell her to run for the hills.
Shuke, is this friend who said all these strange things about women the same friend who suggested the "plural marriage" idea? If so, I strongly suggest you dump this person from your life immediately.
Based on what I know about my husband and what I know about his friends, I would have absolutely no problem at all with them going off for a weekend together. But based on what I know about the OP and his friends, there is no way on earth that I would consent!
I think the problem was communication was not understood from day one,she didn't say anything,and a week later you mentioned again this time you are going,she can't believe you are,that was you that did not follow up on this issue.she is mad at you now. That's what happened. Nothing to do with if her friends would go get a massage and she will too.So she is right about not being happy
Aren't you the same guy who just a few days ago wanted the hot babysitter as your additional wife? And you wonder why she is not happy about this little get together away from her? I don't understand the statement of " My wife nees to see how having no children would be a negative impact on HER LIFE. ????
Let me know who your wife is so I can talk to her, tell her to run for the hills.
You think the "hot babysitter" is going RVing too???
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
To those who asked about this one--I'm sure that's a joke--I think it might be Rodney Dangerfield. I mean, get it? "She wanted to know who May was?" May would be written on the calendar because it's the name of one of the months. That's the joke...
Okay, so anyway. I too answered without having read shuke's other thread...the one about wanting to marry the babysitter. Shuke...as much as you like to foot the blame on your wife and her "instabilities," honestly, you may be contributing to them. I mean nobody can literally make another person crazy (even though it feels like it at times!) but what you list to us here as overblown reactions may be based on her knowledge of how you feel about her: she's fat, nobody would want her, she's a lousy housewife, she's a horrible mother, she could never get the pool guy because she's unattractive, and she's basically so fractured and incomplete that she can't even make one whole wife, but instead needs her wifedom to be padded with a very much younger, "hot" addition. I mean that's the way you presented her to us so I'll bet that's how she realizes how you feel...even if you think you're being subtle in her presence.
That would make ANYBODY insecure.
I think you guys need to break up. Give her the chance to go meet somebody terrific and perfect for her. Don't you think that's only fair? I mean since you don't love her?
First, do you do this sort of thing a lot? Meaning, do you go away without her a lot or more then you go places with her, cuz if you do, then I could understand.
If not...and you make quality time to take your wife away on weekends, then I believe she is wrong...
If you don't, they she is justified in her feelings, cuz she is hurt...and you should try and plan special get a way weekends with her, or her and the kids...then perhaps she wouldn't mind if you did so.
Also, may I suggest you talk to her, and tell her to plan a weekend with her girlfriend to go away, and you'll stay home...take care of the house...etc.
Shuke-
You never did answer the question I asked in your other thread, plural marriage.
I'm sure all of us here want to know,
What kind of crack are you smoking?
You also need to go back and look at what you wrote about having kids. In plural marriage you have kids and in this thread, you have no kids.
It sounds like you and your friend have a lot in common. Maybe your next thread will be about you turning gay?
Shuke-
You never did answer the question I asked in your other thread, plural marriage.
I'm sure all of us here want to know,
What kind of crack are you smoking?
You also need to go back and look at what you wrote about having kids. In plural marriage you have kids and in this thread, you have no kids.
It sounds like you and your friend have a lot in common. Maybe your next thread will be about you turning gay?
I never said I didn't have any kids in this thread. If you misinterpreted, I'm sorry it wasn't clear enough.
As for the smart remarks about smoking crack... I'll let this one pass. Next time I'll report it as a personal attack.
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