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I am trying to figure out how to maintain at least a neutral relationship with my ex husband in the middle of a custody case. I have primary custody but he refuses to acknowledge that I need to move back home. I have health issues from military service. He is gone most of the year and only see our child 5-6 times a year. He has been away her whole life.Both of us have no family in the state. He will be reassigned to another state sometime in the next 1-3 years for a period of 1-3 years.
He has no stability as he moves and travels very frequently, like every month. He also has a child from a previous marriage that lives in another state with his mom because ex can't care for child because he is gone so often. But he still feels I should stay in the state so it is convenient for him to visit when he "stops" by the state. We are going to court and I have spent at least 9k on temporary orders and will have to wait until Janurary to get a court date if he doesn't left again and have the hearing continued until he comes back. I have wait a year and a half to go to court because he is gone so often. I have proposed just as much visitation as he has now. He can more than afford the travel and I even suggested that I will pay for his travel because she is only 4 and can't travel on a plane.
Do you think I am being unreasonable to want to move back home with our daughter?
Do you think I have a reason to resent him even after this over? He doesn't help out with her at all. I do all the care.
Any advice on how to maintain a least a decent communication and relationship with him?
Yikes, I have no experience dealing with the situation you've described. I hope you can get some helpful guidance from someone in the forum. Best of luck...
I believe once he quits his assigned visits on time you are allowed to move any where you need to.
My brother moved to NY, kid in CA. The baby mama moved to Georgia as he had quit visiting.
All in all you need to talk to a attorney. Each state has their own child custody laws, the military may have some as well.
In general, a man who would like it to be convenient to see his kid(s) is making an admirable demand. I am sorry but the way I see it is, you think he was good enough to make a baby with, but now he isn't good enough to be a father? That means you are making your child suffer for your horrible choice in a husband. I don't think you should be moving at this point. Do the right thing and work it through the family courts.
We really don't have enough information. Is he contesting your move? What does your custody agreement in the divorce decree state?
In my case, I have managed to tolerate a person I cannot stand, for my kids. It has taken patience and tolerance to a whole new level for me. Just the way it is.
My question is did this man move around so much when you meet and married him. If he did it seems odd that you would expect for him to change is living lifestyle for you now. Sounds like to me he is in the military and your requesting for him to make changes. He may or may not be able to do this. I would suggest to see this situation from his eyes and proceed accordingly.
Yes we need more info. I know in California you are on a restraining order from leaving the state without the other's notification until the court has the order.
Anytime there is a divorce you are at the mercy of the judge, so you will need to plea your case to the judge, not the ex-spouse. Then whatever the judge rules will be a court order that both parties will have to abide by.
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