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I have a nephew who is in the gay adult industry. I need advice on how to mend my family together. I have posted the details about his entry into the industry and his revelation to the family about his occupation in a previous post.
Here's a little background for those who aren't familiar with my situation. My 20 year old nephew and I are extremely close. About a year ago I found out through his parents that he was involved in the gay porn industry. When asked why he was in the industry, he stated that he liked the money and the things he could afford by doing scenes. I was extremely nervous for his safety. He swore up and down that he was being careful by practicing safe sex. He also told us that he was straight.
He was lying.
About four months ago, my nephew called me to tell me that he had been romantically involved with a man for about six months. When asked if my nephew was gay, he admitted that he was. Needless to say, I was appalled. He told me that I was the first in the family to know and begged me not to tell his parents. Still in severe shock at his admission to being homosexual after he swore up and down last year that he wasn't, I got on the phone after several days. I called my support system: my friends back in Las Vegas, my sister (his mom), our mom, and several other people to share what I was told. All were extremely take aback by his admission after he swore up and down after his entry into the gay porn industry that he was as straight as an arrow. His parents have officially disowned him.
His parents have become extremely bitter toward me because I didn't immediately call them when my nephew came out to me. I had to explain to them that I was in shock and was paralyzed in bed for a day and a half. That conversation took place three months ago. I have not heard from them since. My mom (his grandmother) breaks out into disturbingly intense fits of sadness/rage whenever his name comes up. She had to be rushed to the hospital because she went on a four day hunger strike when she first learned the news, hoping that my nephew would change his ways. I still talk to my nephew occasionally, convincing him to leave his lifestyle behind, a return to the happy, healthy guy he once was. Although he is upset about the family reaction toward his choices, he is making more money than ever working with well know gay porn actors and is in a good relationship.
I need some help on ideas of how to repair my family. All families have bumps in the road, but I am not convinced this is one we can overcome. Things like this just don't happen to us.
Um, why were you appalled that he is gay? Porn industry aside, your bigotry is showing. Being gay is no different than being straight. It's a natural variant of human sexuality, and is hard wired into people's brain, primarily in pre-natal development.
Sounds like you have a family of homophobes and your nephew is better off without the lot of you.
^this.
There's really no repair you can do except for accept him and realize he is still family. If y'all are too homophobic to get over that, then I'm sorry for your lots.
Wow, I feel really bad for your nephew. How could anyone disown their own child for his sexuality is beyond me.
Your nephew called you, opened up to you and begged you not to tell his parents, you went ahead and betrayed him. His whole family is against him. It sounds like he needs to seek for support some place else. It seems like you don't need to bring the family together, you are all together against him already.
So the family felt better thinking he was straight just "acting" gay in the porn industry?
It was a blow to my family to find out he was in the gay porn industry. It pushed some over the edge when they found out that he is gay. It was too much to handle.
Um, why were you appalled that he is gay? Porn industry aside, your bigotry is showing. Being gay is no different than being straight. It's a natural variant of human sexuality, and is hard wired into people's brain, primarily in pre-natal development.
This thread is about repairing a family, not about agenda pushing. Do you have any suggestions for how to repair this family?
Quote:
Originally Posted by southseeker
^this.
There's really no repair you can do except for accept him and realize he is still family. If y'all are too homophobic to get over that, then I'm sorry for your lots.
I accept him. I don't accept his choices.
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama
Wow, I feel really bad for your nephew. How could anyone disown their own child for his sexuality is beyond me.
Your nephew called you, opened up to you and begged you not to tell his parents, you went ahead and betrayed him. His whole family is against him. It sounds like he needs to seek for support some place else. It seems like you don't need to bring the family together, you are all together against him already.
We aren't against him. We are against his actions.
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Talk about "appalling."
