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sasquatch-thats a great informative post...she has actually been a mental hospital for a while...and i have been through hell and back trying to be strong for both of us. She actually this past summer had a very rare infection that was quite serious and spent a lot of time in the hospital with it, so she has been through a lot as well. But she is the one who can be downright nasty, and most of the times its unrealistic anger. We just started counseling...and this feeling is just something i rarely feel(about wanting her i guess to feel hurt emotionally), but i honestly wanted to know where it came from. If anyone is verbally abusive it is her not i. I guess i just didnt come across that way in the post.
I'm so sorry for how tough it must be to deal with all this.
I wish you had posted this in your original post so we could have understood what you were trying to say better.
Unfortunately, when you said you just want to hurt her some people took that to mean physically hurt her.
It can be very hard to continue loving a mentally ill person when they lash out at you constantly or cause you other grief. And you sound like you've been through the ringer with her verbally abusive behavior.
Still, wanting to hurt her back in arguments isn't good or loving behavior either. I'm glad you are seeking professional advice and hope you'll soon have the tools to better deal with all you are facing.
As to your question of "why" do you do this...I think it's simple - you've reached your limit with her and aren't handling the stress very well.
Best of luck finding some peace in your life and marriage.
sasquatch-thats a great informative post...she has actually been a mental hospital for a while...and i have been through hell and back trying to be strong for both of us. She actually this past summer had a very rare infection that was quite serious and spent a lot of time in the hospital with it, so she has been through a lot as well. But she is the one who can be downright nasty, and most of the times its unrealistic anger. We just started counseling...and this feeling is just something i rarely feel(about wanting her i guess to feel hurt emotionally), but i honestly wanted to know where it came from. If anyone is verbally abusive it is her not i. I guess i just didnt come across that way in the post.
Not surprising everyone thought that A) YOU were automatically the abusive type, and B) you meant you wanted to physically harm her. It honestly wasn't the way you phrased it (per my response to you, clearly), it's just where the majority in here automatically go anytime there's a confrontation mentioned between a man and a woman.
It's the standard knee-jerk reaction in here, it really is.
You explained things JUST FINE in your post; everyone else just read a bunch of BS into it. Don't worry about it.
Not surprising everyone thought that A) YOU were automatically the abusive type, and B) you meant you wanted to physically harm her.
It honestly wasn't the way you phrased it (per my response to you, clearly), it's just where the majority in here automatically go anytime there's a confrontation mentioned between a man and a woman.
It's the standard knee-jerk reaction in here, it really is.
You explained things JUST FINE in your post; everyone else just read a bunch of BS into it. Don't worry about it.
Sheesh UB...
After you've said you're not surprised the impression poster got assuming abuse.
Then you go onto say he expressed himself fine and we read a bunch of BS into what he said.
Do you know what you think or like the sound of your fingers hitting the key board?
I'm shaking my head...time for the ignore feature again...
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,005,830 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch
Not surprising everyone thought that A) YOU were automatically the abusive type, and B) you meant you wanted to physically harm her. It honestly wasn't the way you phrased it (per my response to you, clearly), it's just where the majority in here automatically go anytime there's a confrontation mentioned between a man and a woman.
It's the standard knee-jerk reaction in here, it really is.
You explained things JUST FINE in your post; everyone else just read a bunch of BS into it. Don't worry about it.
kinda hard to explain but...my wife and i have had troubles, arguing, nasty fights, etc...
why do i sometimes when i see that she is being sensetive(maybe i have the upper hand) which does not occur often, do i feel like i really want to make her hurt, but at the end want to be the one to comfort her?
does that make sense?...its like i want to hurt her and for her to hurt...but in the end i want to be the one to hug her and comfort her...
dont know what that is or where that comes from...and i know its wrong.
It is a paradox..
You know what you are saying but you cannot seem to help your self..you know her best and know what buttons to push...even though this is not your intention at the time it makes sense, but once the words are out..you feel horrible..
I will state this is typical human behavior..you need to zip the lip..because we often hurt the ones we love the most.
It is common practice in a loving and trusting relationship often times we know our SO weaknesses and this should never be used as a weapon..
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I'm so sorry for how tough it must be to deal with all this.
