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I initiated it and I was pretty firm that we would be friends and nothing more. He seemed to want more. Now we've set a date to see each other and just hang out and talk... all platonic.
BUT as that date approaches my resolve to be just friends is becoming shaky. I think I've convinced him I just want to be friends so that now I don't feel he wants anything more than just that and here I am now changing to wanting more.
Well maybe I don't know if I want more or not I'm just really nervous of falling for him again when I see him.
So nervous I'm thinking of canceling... of course my friends and family are all for me canceling. No one understands why I would want to see him again anyways. They all think I want to get back with ihim... am I in denial?
I mean a true ex... someone I've had a long relationship with, someone I loved.. I never turned one of those around to a friendship. Usually there's resentment and of course the fear of feelling again.... sure guys I've dated for short spans of time and then realized it wasn't going to work I've turned some of those into friendships... but this is different.
I initiated it and I was pretty firm that we would be friends and nothing more. He seemed to want more. Now we've set a date to see each other and just hang out and talk... all platonic.
BUT as that date approaches my resolve to be just friends is becoming shaky. I think I've convinced him I just want to be friends so that now I don't feel he wants anything more than just that and here I am now changing to wanting more.
Well maybe I don't know if I want more or not I'm just really nervous of falling for him again when I see him.
So nervous I'm thinking of canceling... of course my friends and family are all for me canceling. No one understands why I would want to see him again anyways. They all think I want to get back with ihim... am I in denial?
I mean a true ex... someone I've had a long relationship with, someone I loved.. I never turned one of those around to a friendship. Usually there's resentment and of course the fear of feelling again.... sure guys I've dated for short spans of time and then realized it wasn't going to work I've turned some of those into friendships... but this is different.
Thoughts?
Quote:
I initiated it and I was pretty firm that we would be friends and nothing more.He seemed to want more. Now we've set a date to see each other and just hang out and talk... all platonic.
You had better make sure you're not led in a direction you don't want to travel.
Better make sure you have already sorted out your feelings and you are resolved that nothing will come from this.
Make sure you aren't leading him on. And let him know directly up front that nothing is going to be rekindled except a friendship.
No, don't do it. Why are so many people so obssessed with trying to do this? If he wanted more and you don't, then you are torturing him by trying to stick around. This is EVEN WORSE when you two had previously been in a long term relationship. You can't have your cake and eat it too. It's selfish to want him as a friend after you broke up from a legitimate long-term relationship. Unfortunately he's going to go along with it because his unresolved emotions toward you cloud his judgment. When you end a long-term legitimate relationship, it's over. No more. Let him go. Stop it right now and let him go.
No, don't do it. Why are so many people so obssessed with trying to do this? If he wanted more and you don't, then you are torturing him by trying to stick around. This is EVEN WORSE when you two had previously been in a long term relationship. You can't have your cake and eat it too. It's selfish to want him as a friend after you broke up from a legitimate long-term relationship. Unfortunately he's going to go along with it because his unresolved emotions toward you cloud his judgment. When you end a long-term legitimate relationship, it's over. No more. Let him go. Stop it right now and let him go.
Drama drama drama drama drama.
He actually ended the relationship. So it was kind of weird for him to want more when we finally started talking again. And like I said it seems like he's accepted the friend status. But maybe he, like me, is confused... I can't speak from his POV
How long ago did you guys break up? A month ago? Six months? A year?
Personally, I've never been able to become friends with exes, but others have done it, so it's entirely possible. I do think it has a lot to do with how long of a cooling period you've had between the break up and the friendship. Too soon afterwards, when either or both of you still have unresolved feelings, just spells trouble.
If you are feeling confused or "don't know if you'd want more" or are "nervous of falling for him again when you see him," then it sounds like it's way too soon for you to be considering friendship at this point. You both need time to heal, figure out your feelings, and move on first before a true friendship should be considered.
How long ago did you guys break up? A month ago? Six months? A year?
Personally, I've never been able to become friends with exes, but others have done it, so it's entirely possible. I do think it has a lot to do with how long of a cooling period you've had between the break up and the friendship. Too soon afterwards, when either or both of you still have unresolved feelings, just spells trouble.
If you are feeling confused or "don't know if you'd want more" or are "nervous of falling for him again when you see him," then it sounds like it's way too soon for you to be considering friendship at this point. You both need time to heal, figure out your feelings, and move on first before a true friendship should be considered.
We broke up in January of this year and we didn't start really talking as "friends" until maybe September the month both our birthdays are in... yeah birthday well wishes are what started this. I thought it had been a long enough cooling off time but maybe I rushed into it too soon.
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