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This is comparing two extremes and likely neither extreme would work.
As an accountant, I've been in a good position to see the types of guys who marry into wealthy families with mostly or only daughters. They didn't "choose" to marry such a woman, they were chosen. These guys are not unlike a trophy wife although, their lifestyle is often very different and their behavior is often that of someone who is maturing very slowly. Their father in law often had difficulty keeping them constructively employed and out of trouble. Letting them go out of town on business, is asking for trouble.
At the other extreme, guys who marry women who earn 1/4 to 1/5 what they do, often find money is an issue. For her, it's like she's won the lottery and we all know what such winners tend to do. In contrast, such men want to build their family's wealth and success and chafe at her profligate ways. Many of the divorced guys who I know, have a similar story. As hard as they tried to build wealth and pay down debt, she would stick him with a massive surprise debt every year or so.
If she doesn't work at all, at least he has the ability to put her on an allowance but having an income, no matter how meager, is a license to spend.
They may find finding her difficult, but successful men who are intelligent want a successful wife, not a father in law who is successful. They leave such women for the boy toys.
i have a feeling that this is rich with rich non distinguished inbreeding...like people who are born into money and have not accomplished much and never will....a rich dude trying to make sure his 2nd daughter is well taken care of.
At the other extreme, guys who marry women who earn 1/4 to 1/5 what they do, often find money is an issue. For her, it's like she's won the lottery and we all know what such winners tend to do. In contrast, such men want to build their family's wealth and success and chafe at her profligate ways. Many of the divorced guys who I know, have a similar story. As hard as they tried to build wealth and pay down debt, she would stick him with a massive surprise debt every year or so.
I'd think that at least SOME women from humble backgrounds would actually be just the opposite - know the value of a dollar and be very used to saving, planning the budget and being frugal
On the other side, maybe since this observation coming about divorced guys, perhaps, because there was a divorce, a procentage of such "misfits" is higher
There is this guy I like. I've known him for a long time about 6 years, I've always had a crush on him and supposedly according to him he has a crush on me too. However, we only hang out maybe like 3 times a year.
I have the feeling that the reason he would never seriously date me is because I'm not as successful as him.
He makes $120,000 a year, he's a software engineer and graduated from NJIT. He is 27 years old, and attractive.
I make about a 5th of his salary, I graduated from a mediocre college with a business degree. I'm 24 years old, and attractive.
He says that I don't accept that he likes me. I don't believe him in that he never makes an effort to see me, I always have to make the effort. He said he doesn't like himself. I feel like he is giving me the whole "It's not you, it's me" excuse.
I personally think he would prefer to date an average looking girl who is smart and successful. Whereas, I consider myself with to be above average looks, average intelligence, and have mediocre success.
What does everyone think?
1)Is it possible he would date me even though I'm less successful and intelligent?
2)Do you think he was just being nice and letting me down?
3)Wouldn't he be bored of me in the long term?
Any advice/comments/related stories welcome.
a few people have advised me when they act like that, they aren't seriously interested, but maybe that's not the case with him. I hope it works out for you though.
First off 120K isn't all that much. Today people can go from anything to $0.00 real quick due to layoffs or whatever. Don't sell yourself short due to a dollar/income value. Sometimes when we put people on a pedestal when we get to know them it's not always as it seems.
Just see where it takes you... you don't want to be with someone else later and wonder what could have been.
There is no league system. It is a myth. Three times a year? What do you do when you meet him? 6 years of crush? What are you waiting for?
Instead of speculating this and that. Why not be up front and get it over with? Do you want to wait 6 more years?
Quote:
Originally Posted by hamburglarchick12
There is this guy I like. I've known him for a long time about 6 years, I've always had a crush on him and supposedly according to him he has a crush on me too. However, we only hang out maybe like 3 times a year.
I have the feeling that the reason he would never seriously date me is because I'm not as successful as him.
He makes $120,000 a year, he's a software engineer and graduated from NJIT. He is 27 years old, and attractive.
I make about a 5th of his salary, I graduated from a mediocre college with a business degree. I'm 24 years old, and attractive.
He says that I don't accept that he likes me. I don't believe him in that he never makes an effort to see me, I always have to make the effort. He said he doesn't like himself. I feel like he is giving me the whole "It's not you, it's me" excuse.
I personally think he would prefer to date an average looking girl who is smart and successful. Whereas, I consider myself with to be above average looks, average intelligence, and have mediocre success.
What does everyone think?
1)Is it possible he would date me even though I'm less successful and intelligent?
2)Do you think he was just being nice and letting me down?
3)Wouldn't he be bored of me in the long term?
OP QUOTE: "He says that I don't accept that he likes me. I don't believe him in that he never makes an effort to see me, I always have to make the effort. He said he doesn't like himself."
I agree with what most have posted that a guy doesn't care much about your career level.
This guy has issues period. Do not contact him and put effort into meeting other men. It's not your job to 'fix' him. Believe me, once he finds someone to knock his socks off, he'll be fixed pronto.
No offense, but your buddy is has his priorities out of whack.
IMHO, of course.
why? may i ask?
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