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Why am I always attracting men who have some kind of personal problem in their life they have not worked through, that keeps them from being able to commit? They always seem very interested at first, and then they change their mind. This has pretty much been my life since my very first relationship, but at least that guy committed to me for a little while, until he realized he never was ready to give that much to the relationship anyways. I don't get why I can't attract guys who really want and are ready for a relationship. Its making it very hard for me to trust anyone now. I'm 25 and I fear that if I don't figure it out soon, I won't be able to find anyone before they all get married.
I've thought about the fact that maybe I instinctively feel bad for these guys I attract so I give them a chance anyway if I'm attracted in some way..but they also play it off like they're ready so that notion doesn't make sense. Maybe I'm enabling this behavior in some way. I'd like to think its a timing thing too but I keep getting these types of men finding me so I just feel like time is going to keep passing and this will remain my story. I'd like to change it though.
At this point, I'm throwing in the towel with dating as I'm horribly exhausted and accept the fact that I will always be alone, but I still would like to understand this weirdness.
and ya, I expect a ton of you to judge me, but really, I'm just trying to figure out what I need to do differently for when I'm ready to try again. Even though right now I'm just gonna focus on me, I'm willing to listen.
With the current hook up culture a lot of guys go by the *why buy the cow when the milk is for free* rule. The other guys realized they prefer porn. Some other guys have emotional issues brought on by a mixture of medications and pollution. There is also the asexual guys, the betamanlets, PUAs and all the other weird mutants that seemed to have emerged.
It might not always be that they can't commit. Maybe, as they got to know you more, they lost interest. Not to say it's your fault, but in the beginning of a relationship things are always sunshine and lollipops. Once the newness wears off, and that can take months, the truth starts to come to the surface. We're no longer putting our best foot forward or willing to overlook those cute little quirks that now annoy the shyt of us.
Don't give up. You're not destined to be alone. Finding the right person takes time, and you are still too young to be jaded or discouraged. I find most times when people say they give up, they are speaking out of frustration, and eventually they just keep moving the goal post as opposed to truly giving up.
I'll let the more up beat posters try and help you.
I haven't even had a date in 2 years or more which has made me a little bitter, so I know there are others on here that will help you better than I could.
It might not always be that they can't commit. Maybe, as they got to know you more, they lost interest. Not to say it's your fault, but in the beginning of a relationship things are always sunshine and lollipops. Once the newness wears off, and that can take months, the truth starts to come to the surface. We're no longer putting our best foot forward or willing to overlook those cute little quirks that now annoy the shyt of us.
Don't give up. You're not destined to be alone. Finding the right person takes time, and you are still too young to be jaded or discouraged. I find most times when people say they give up, they are speaking out of frustration, and eventually they just keep moving the goal post as opposed to truly giving up.
I've dated A LOT, hence the exhaustion and every guy "loses interest". At this point, it must be me. they lose interest within 1-3 months. I feel like I'm wasting my time. I totally get how the newness can wear off, but thats why you work at things. I don't get why that is such a hard concept for people.
I've dated A LOT, hence the exhaustion and every guy "loses interest". At this point, it must be me. they lose interest within 1-3 months. I feel like I'm wasting my time. I totally get how the newness can wear off, but thats why you work at things. I don't get why that is such a hard concept for people.
I don't have any answers, but I'm right there with you.
With the current hook up culture a lot of guys go by the *why buy the cow when the milk is for free* rule. The other guys realized they prefer porn. Some other guys have emotional issues brought on by a mixture of medications and pollution. There is also the asexual guys, the betamanlets, PUAs and all the other weird mutants that seemed to have emerged.
don't even get me started on those disgusting pigs. This world is more and more callous every day. I would never have children for this reason.
Mir, darlin', you haven't met the right man for you, yet. You've been meeting duds & pond scum.
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