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Right, I don't often post my problems on public forums, but render me clueless here.
Last year, after moving on to a higher difficulty of college here in the Nerherlands, there was a very special girl in my class.
I noticed that she was a very quiet person, much like me, considering my brother has Asperger syndrome and I might have gotten a little something from that as well.
I felt attracted to her immediately. I started subtle chats on msn and noticed she only talks about school, her success, and her future. She seemed a little insecure about everything and I learned that she finds it hard to keep a conversation running, etc. But I also learned that her success is her first priority. She isn't interested in having a boyfriend as she feels she doesn't have the time for it, but she doesn't know that I'd give her all the time she would need.
These little chats went on for a while. We became kinda good friends, just the reallife-digital conversation contrast is a bit off. In real life, she would be a little hostile. If I am talking to someone and she overhears something, she will speak to me about it but not knowing how to respond, being unintentionally sarcastic, etc. Which is EXACTLY the same as me. But when we both got home she'd immediately start up a msn conversation and talk like an angel. Sometimes we chat hours everyday, and sometimes we wouldn't speak for weeks. This seems a little weird, but in real life she's a little closed up and hard to reach. And no, asking her out is not a good idea in my position.
I've learned that she is exactly like me. I noticed we tend to say the same things at the same time, heck to make it worse, we both have dogs that have the same name and are the same race. None of my or her friends calls it coincidence. Before they even knew that I am head over heels for her, they felt like we would be an amazing couple, and now they know this, they call it destiny and say that we are made for eachother. While in classes, we barely speak to eachother and sit rather far away from eachother, at our own safe havens where our friends are. I notice she looks at me. A lot. I look back and she usually looks away immediately.
We never talk about these awkward little things. She is just as insecure as me. Her twitter for example usually has a picture on it that says, remember, the person that usually cares about everyone else, is usually the most lonely person, so never leave that person alone. My success goes first, as does hers. We are both as lonely, we just never talk about it. In fact, she doesn't like speaking about her feelings at all, which is a shame, but it clears out a lot of things and well, it adds up to her specialty.
But a couple weeks ago, one of my female friends who is actually her best friend, told her I liked her. No real reason or motivation, just that. She responded with 'oh my god.. well if you speak to him tell him I like him but nothing more'. From that point, she started avoiding me. After 2 days I was so crushed that I felt this had to be undone. I went harsh on her and lied that I didn't like her. Her response? 'Okay'. She just doesn't want to talk about it. She still avoided me and a day later, I told her that it was getting very annoying. She was adamant that she wasnt avoiding me, but she was. Ever since she speaks to me again. Everyday. Sometimes hours long. She still looks at me the same way too. I felt that she lied when she said she didn't like me, the easiest way out, that same way she always takes.
But here I sit now. In a couple months, I might not ever see her again. She is moving up another grade of difficulty, same thing I wanted to do, but they rejected me. Action really must be taken after all this time, I am just clueless and way to insecure to get an idea of what to do. I am slowpy starting to believe that she indeed belongs to me, but it's just tue way we both are that keeps us apart.
I really just wanted to lose this story. My and her friends say I can't get her because of the way she is, no matter how much they want to see us together. But this story feels long from over.
I wouldn't worry about not seeing her in person; it sounds like you 2 get along better online anyway.
I think you 2 need to explain to each other clearly how you feel about each other. If you told her you didn't like her, you need to apologize and explain to her that it was a very selfish thing for you to say and that you will not try to manipulate her again.
Last year, after moving on to a higher difficulty of college here in the Nerherlands, there was a very special girl in my class.
I felt attracted to her immediately. I started subtle chats on msn and noticed she only talks about school, her success, and her future. She seemed a little insecure about everything and I learned that she finds it hard to keep a conversation running, etc. But I also learned that her success is her first priority. She isn't interested in having a boyfriend as she feels she doesn't have the time for it, but she doesn't know that I'd give her all the time she would need.
Unrequited love from a woman you have grown attached to is the worst feeling in the world. Worse than being cheated on or dumped for my $.
It comes around and kicks me in the stomach every couple of years. Next time just tell her early you like her, before you get attached.
There is not one person that's "exactly as you." What you see in her only is what you want to see. When she talks or communicates with you, you only hear what you want to hear, what makes you comfortable, what you like or enjoy... In other words, what you see in her eyes is a reflection of yourself (your emotions), or as when looking in the mirror. The only possibility that she is "just or like you" is if she were your twin, or your clone.
I think your "female friend" that informed this girl of your feelings for her is to blame for this whole mess...maybe she's got eyes for you herself......
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