6 months into a stable relationship, what to expect? (best, years, like)
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I have talked about the L word issue with him 2-3 times, and he doesn't have anything to offer besides "I'm not ready to say it", "I'm being honest" and "It's too early".
You know what posts on this issue have in common? Most posters use this expression I personally despise - "the L word." To me it sounds like the F word. I may be reading too much into it, but I do believe when there is such a problem, it's usually caused by the coldness and lack of emotions of both people, not just one. I'm not trying to be hostile because there's no reason to. As a matter of fact, your post sounds otherwise friendly and warm, so perhaps I'm wrong and sometimes only one person is the problem. Of course, it's not a "problem" per se... They are who they are... After a reasonable amount of time (and I certainly don't find years to be a reasonable amount of time) one should just realize the partner is incompatible and move on. Frankly, I can't even imagine having conversations of this nature. Tiptoeing around somebody patiently waiting for him to be "ready" to love me is not something I'm interested in.
I think you wil not be fulfilled in this relationship. It's never a good sign to have to plea bargain for affection. Six months is plenty of time to know how you feel about someone.
OP-If you're not careful, you're going to run this person off. People don't develop feelings in the same time as others. Some take longer, some do not. Don't sit there and mentally torture yourself because he hasn't said I love you yet. It will come. Maybe it won't. But to sit there and constantly ask him about it isn't going to make it happen any faster. So relax and enjoy the relationship you. When it's meant to be said, it will...
At his age I think he would know by the one year mark if this is a forever relationship or not. In fact, he probably already knows. And I understand your concern since being with someone for a couple years and not having it lead to anything basically takes you off the market during your prime and keeps you from meeting someone who may be totally swept off his feet by you. Do what feels right for yourself but if you start feeling like you aren't important I'd give some thought to breaking it off.
I think you wil not be fulfilled in this relationship. It's never a good sign to have to plea bargain for affection. Six months is plenty of time to know how you feel about someone.
I agree with moonsavvy. Typically, if you are unsure about your relationship or have to question certain aspects of it then it means something is off. Your gut is trying to tell you something.
When a guy likes you, YOU KNOW. There is no ambiguity, just an inner knowing and security. Anytime I had questions about whether a guy loved me or not, it did not work.
Now, it doesn't make your guy bad. It also doesn't mean he doesn't love you, just not probably the way you want.
You just have to be honest with yourself. If you want a strong commitment, total exclusivity and deep love leading to marriage, then this relationship may not be right for you. But if you just want something fun, some caring, attention, sex , then this might suffice and the "relationship" could still be enjoyable. You just have to know what you want and be willing to walk away if it's not working.
That said, I'd still give it 6 more months though . It is still way too early
Sweetlilac....when I met my mate....within a couple of months we moved in with each other...that's the realistic way to see if you can really get along.....I don't once remember ever fretting over hearing the words "I love you"....actions DO speak louder than words....for some people it's very hard to say those words....even now(after 37 years together) those 3 words are seldom spoken...and yet it is understood.
You know what posts on this issue have in common? Most posters use this expression I personally despise - "the L word."
As I turned the page after catching up on this thread I was thinking exactly the same thing. What the fudge is this *****-footing around talking about "the L word"? I would say it sounds like something from a kindergartner except that I don't think even one of them would hesitate to use the word "love".
PS: That's pretty funny that the alternative name for a cat which begins with a "p" and ends with a "y" is verboten in netspeak. Maybe the word "love" is indeed doomed to be one which shows up on forums as, "****" before long! Somehow, "kitty-footing" or "feline-footing" just doesn't come across quite so well ...
Of course actions speak louder than words. Best wishes to your wonderful relationship.
Ah but "all actions" and "no words", aren't really that satisfying either
I'm gonna go against the grain and say for me, personally, if I have a choice between actions and words where I can only have one or the other, that I will go for the words. For ppl who whose Love Language is "Words of Affirmation", words can be even more significant sometimes than action alone
OP: is it possible that he *does* in fact love you, but is perhaps unsure of how exactly to say or express it verbally?
Remember that at times in society today, it is "looked down" or discouraged for men to be overly-emotionally expressive. A man, saying "I love you" should never be thought of as a weakness, or as unmanly (IMHO).
I truly wish you the very best, and genuinely hope that your relationship works out And I hope he comes to his senses and tells you those three magic words ("ILY") soon! You sound like a wonderful and special person, and he should count himself very lucky and blessed that he has a girl as amazing as you
Frankly, I can't even imagine having conversations of this nature. Tiptoeing around somebody patiently waiting for him to be "ready" to love me is not something I'm interested in.
There ya go. I agree with that one hundred percent.
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to love me is not something I'm interested in.
, then this might suffice and the "relationship" could still be enjoyable. You just have to know what you want and be willing to walk away if it's not working. 
. It is still way too early
