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Wait a second, the fact that he read your diary three months into your relationship should have been the biggest red flag. My own MOTHER has never read my diary. You should have left his ass that same day when that happened. You have dug your own grave so either you get out or continue to lie in it.
OK, well, thanks everyone for your opinion and intermittent contempt for me for staying with him this long. I am not perfect as nobody else is, and thus, perhaps I try to cut slack to others as well and don't make the best decision 100% of the time. I probably cut too much slack here - I agree. I still will have the talk - I think it's fair that the other person knows what the problem is then just cut it off with no explanation. I appreciate all your insight.
"In my opinion your boyfriend's activities (going through your phone? Seriously?) are OVER the line. If you've been together this long and he's still playing these antics, then YES, there are serious issues at hand."
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Narcissistic people do not KNOW boundaries. They cross them all the time, that is why he is successful in business. He is aggressive, and will do whatever he has to do to succeed in business, where other people, have some morals and ethics. They don't.
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DO NOT MARRY. When abusers get you to marry them, they become MORE aggressive. As now they 'own' you. Things usually get worse with marriage, engagement, pregnancy.
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Etincell, we are trying to save your life. Please, please read about Narcissistic people. It will open your eyes. Let him move; you stay. In a little while you will see it was the right thing to do. It isn't easy, it is painful. Make a 'crime sheet', it will help. List all the ugly things he has done, said etc. Then when you miss him, read that list! It will 'cure' you from wanting to get back with him. This is sort of like an addiction you have to break. Best wishes. I know what I am talking about.
Autumntimetwo, thank you so much - I am taking all you say to heart and I will read up on that. I agree with "crime sheet" - I did that with my ex :-) Thank you again for your advice!
Autumntimetwo, thank you so much - I am taking all you say to heart and I will read up on that. I agree with "crime sheet" - I did that with my ex :-) Thank you again for your advice!
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You are most welcome. Do not talk to him, or sit down with him. You already know what the outcome will be. I am sure you talked before. He will get angry at you, he will deny, he will try and make you doubt your sanity, and he will attack you somerwhere personally, your looks, your family, your friends.
I know, why you stayed so long. I did it more then once. It is painful, not because he is some alpha male. You sound like a very nice, sweet person; that is WHO these people get involved with. Can you imagine another person like him ...........getting together?
I am happy to hear you will do some reading. It can save your life. Not being dramatic, it is a fact. I am sure he has shoved you, yelled at you, gave you the 'cold shoulder', for having fun without him. He actually 'hates' women. You have too good a heart and spirit to waste your life on him. Good luck. ♥
Hey Urban Sasquatch, I totally understand your point about one side of the story and you are right - maybe there is something i am doing that triggers something in him - that's why I think your questions below are great questions to ask:
- have I given you reason to be doing this, or is this just your nature?
- if something caused this but it wasn't ME, then knock it off and be with ME instead of being with your past.
- If it was ME, then WHAT, and how can we move past this, assuming we can?
Believe me I went over everything in my head a 1,000 times about what could be causing this. I don't know - that's why he will have to tell me.
He gets even jealous in a store - he would say something like "That guy was looking at you too long" or whatever and half the time I didn't even notice another guy and I would say "Which guy??"
But I agree I will have to sit down and find out what it is - if indeed it is something I am doing - that irks him for some reason.
Thank you for your reply!!
Etincelle,
If what you're saying is true about being in stores and he's antsy about other guys...
Hey Urban Sasquatch, I totally understand your point about one side of the story and you are right - maybe there is something I am doing that triggers something in him.
That is what those that stay in an abusive relationship say about their abuser.
Dump this insecure little boy, things will only get worse. Before long any male you have contact with you are having sex with, if you are friendly with strangers you are flirting, etc..
Chances are real good HE is the one cheating, and he may say it is okay for the guy.
moonsavvy, I don't think it's either - I think he knows it's wrong because he hides it but at the same time can't stop doing it. Either way, it is not what I want or expect from an adult man (or woman) to do. I can understand curiosity - but ASK, don't snoop!
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