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I'm all for learning experiences as long as it doesn't involve kids!!
Then take care of your spouse and make time for them and your chances of success are increased. You pander to your childs every want and whim you're asking for trouble not only with the child but with your marriage. You can meet their needs of the child without pandering to their each want and whim.
In general, the article has some great points. But relationships aren't "one size fits all". People are different...situations are different. My Grandparents have been married for 60 years, and they are very much the type who put their kids first (they also raised me). I don't think their marriage suffered at all because of it. However with both of them, their greatest joy came from being parents and grandparents; not necessarily the marriage and the relationship between them. But their marriage works because they are the protypical "parenting team". I don't think this could work in a situation where the husband is a financial provider first and foremost...and then shares parenting as a part-time thing (my Grandfather wasn't like this...for him, his job was just a means to get some money to make his wife and children happy).
Parenting today seems very "task" oriented....and much less nurturing than it was years ago. Kids today can be very demanding in regards to time, material wants and attention. Years ago, it was good enough to just feed and clothe your kids....with some presents for the birthday and holidays. So I think what the article is trying to stress is that you shouldn't lose sight of maintaining your marital relationship in trying to raise your kids. Ideally, everything should function as a harmoniuous unit; with the love for your husband being different than the love for your kids. And no one should feel slighted or compromised in the love area (husband or children) to the benefit of the other.
Then take care of your spouse and make time for them and your chances of success are increased. You pander to your childs every want and whim you're asking for trouble not only with the child but with your marriage. You can meet their needs of the child without pandering to their each want and whim.
My "kids" are older(17&24),I wouldn't pander to anyones needs at this point.The 24 year old is in his 3rd year of law school,he'll take the bar in the spring and he wants to move out with a friend.My 17 will be off to college Fall 12,so we will be empty nesters...should be interesting!As long as everyone is happy and healthy nothing about my future worries me...
This is a tough subject for me. I would say the children I'm not stating that you have to spoil them but they need thier parent's & more like always will to some extent. My mom pushed me away when I was a child & it's something I'll never get over. Talking to someone about it doesn't work so don't go there. A parent's love is supposed to unconditional even more so then your spouses. In my opnion you choose your children before you choose your spouse.
So the vows you chose to take with your spouse "forsaking all others" doesn't apply? As I said earlier parenting is a team endeavor. So once you've provided your child's need for shelter, food, clothing, and nurturing I get the impression that some of you think that isn't enough.
So the vows you chose to take with your spouse "forsaking all others" doesn't apply? As I said earlier parenting is a team endeavor. So once you've provided your child's need for shelter, food, clothing, and nurturing I get the impression that some of you think that isn't enough.
Does that mean forsaking your children? Sorry daddy/mom & I want to go out & we can't afford time to play/help you with your homework,etc. Great parenting!
So the vows you chose to take with your spouse "forsaking all others" doesn't apply? As I said earlier parenting is a team endeavor. So once you've provided your child's need for shelter, food, clothing, and nurturing I get the impression that some of you think that isn't enough.
If you read the above post and really see the damage that is done when a childs emotional needs are not met,I think you would better understand where I am coming from. As far as "forsaking all others" I never thought that applied to your own children?
If you read the above post and really see the damage that is done when a childs emotional needs are not met,I think you would better understand where I am coming from. As far as "forsaking all others" I never thought that applied to your own children?
Do you take a wedding vow to your child?
There are some to clearly take child raising beyond something unhealthy.
I'd say wife first,
Because kids will always make it high on the priority list no matter what, but if the marriage starts taking too many beatings without enough good stuff happening it will break, and the kids will be worse off too. Besides I believe a lot of kids today got too much attention from home to see the rest of the world objectively.
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