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I think you are reaching a milestone age. By the time I am thirty I should have a,b,c. It looks like you have your career, and from what I've read on research, many men like to have that in place before moving on to something else, ie: wife, family, responsibility of other people.
I had my first child at the age of twenty. My then husband did not have a career and monetarily, we were not ready, at all. I think life and our marriage would have been probably a lot easier or better if we were ready, and not thrown into a life of parenthood or family. I am not unhappy that I had my children, they are the biggest blessing in the world to me. In the end, the marriage didn't work, we were together for sixteen years all together and it is now four years later.
The man I am with has never been married. He is 41. He has his career. He owns his own home and his mortgage is paid off. I have come across many men these days that are doing the same thing.....waiting
Thirty is no big deal. Just don't be 60 and thinking about having kids, lol. I actually know someone who finally fathered children at that age, and had twins. Imagine being 63 and having three year old twins to chase after. whew!
I am going to be 30 in about three weeks, and for some reason I'm scared out of my mind. I always have wanted to get married and have kids, but I have not been in any hurry to do so. I enjoy relationships, I enjoy hooking up, but I haven't generally been too serious with any of it. Now, I'm starting to fear that I've missed the curve and may be single forever. I know it's probably not true, but I need some second opinions. I don't want to give up my carefree attitude just yet, but when should I start thinking seriously about settling down?
If you are a woman...YEP! Clock is tickn & the world is ending next year and you are not getting any better looking cause you're 30!!!
when should I start thinking seriously about settling down?
When you feel as though you have met the person that you would like to settle down with aka "the one". It's as simple as that. There's no age or time limit on it. Lots of ppl get freaked out in their late 20's/early 30's and just settle. This is way less desirable than just living your life until you meet the right one, IMHO. Just live your life and be the best YOU that you can be...everything else will fall into place in due time.
P.S. You should definitely do something really nice for your 30th to take your mind off of that first digit change in your age (that's all it really is!!). Last year for my 30th, my motta was "30 and Thrilling!!!"
I'm 32; I had similar feelings when I turned 30. It really surprised me, because I was not the type of person who's dream it was to be someone's wife. But in all honesty, as a woman, you do only have a certain amount of time before you lose the opportunity to have children. And for me, marriage is sort of tied into building a home and having kids (although I realize that not everyone feels like I do).
My aunt however (my father's sister) didn't get married until she was 40; she had her son the next year (don't know if she was still 40 or 41 at that point). She had her own business and it just took that long for her to find the right guy to marry. She isn't concerned at all about having more kids, so it can work out....even over the next 10 years or so.
In my case, I met my BF earlier this year. He is significantly younger than me; although he's a bit more mature than his male peers (he's lived on his own for several years, was in a LTR, has a child already, etc.). I will say that when I was single (single), the pool of single, unattached guys in the 28-35 age range seems a lot smaller than in the 21-27 age range. That is when a lot of people are finishing up college and looking to move on to that "next step". However I will also say that several of my friends from high school who got married in their early 20s are now divorced or separated. So I dunno....maybe it evens out.
My advice to 30+ single women is to consider younger guys and guys with "baggage" (divorce, kids, etc.)....if you aren't considering them already. I'm not saying that you should settle for anything. But not every guy with a history is a scumbag. My BF has a history (a crazy ex, a child, etc.), but he fully recognizes that he made a mistake, and is determined to move on from it (my Grandfather went through something similar 60 years ago when he divorced his 1st wife; he and my Grandmother, his 2nd wife, have been together since 1959).
But overall, try not to freak out. Relationships take two people....it's not all on you. Just be diligent...keep your eye out (and your heart open). You'll find someone soon!
I didn't even MEET my SO (or any decent guys) until I turned 30. Thus far, 30s have proven to be much more about hitting my stride than the all-over-the-place, volatile twenties were. I wasn't a huge fan of the growing pains that came with my twenties (then or in retrospect), but obviously they were necessary. But the past few years since turning 30 have been so much better, to be honest.
Honestly, I don't think there are many young men worth having until they've gotten closer to 35. Prior to that many of them are too focused on other things (rightly so in many cases) to be good marriage material. You seem to have found that out firsthand
Honestly, I don't think there are many young men worth having until they've gotten closer to 35. Prior to that many of them are too focused on other things (rightly so in many cases) to be good marriage material. You seem to have found that out firsthand
I think it depends a lot on the guy. Culture, socio-economic status, personality, and life goals have a lot to do with it. Some men (and some women) don't "settle down" until they're 40. Many never get to the point where they know what they want. I think the most important part is whenever someone gets to the point where they say, "You know what, I'm ready to build a life with another person....over the long-term", then that is when they should be looking at marriage. That can happen at 21 or 51.
When you feel as though you have met the person that you would like to settle down with aka "the one". It's as simple as that. There's no age or time limit on it. Lots of ppl get freaked out in their late 20's/early 30's and just settle. This is way less desirable than just living your life until you meet the right one, IMHO. Just live your life and be the best YOU that you can be...everything else will fall into place in due time.
P.S. You should definitely do something really nice for your 30th to take your mind off of that first digit change in your age (that's all it really is!!). Last year for my 30th, my motta was "30 and Thrilling!!!"
I am going to be 30 in about three weeks, and for some reason I'm scared out of my mind. I always have wanted to get married and have kids, but I have not been in any hurry to do so. I enjoy relationships, I enjoy hooking up, but I haven't generally been too serious with any of it. Now, I'm starting to fear that I've missed the curve and may be single forever. I know it's probably not true, but I need some second opinions. I don't want to give up my carefree attitude just yet, but when should I start thinking seriously about settling down?
It really depends on where you live...
Small town and suburbs you're probably going to see a drop off in your dating and hooking up frequency. You'll run into more and more people who are spoken for and the ones that are left will most likely be less than desirable.
If you live in a big city, no need to worry. Most people need their 20's to develop still and don't fully understand what it is they want in the future until later on. Many people wait until their 30's and 40's to get married for the first time in this environment.
Try not to think about it. Just live your life, have fun, be happy, and you'll attract someone similar at some point in your life. Also, each year you wait to get married, the less your chance of divorce becomes.
Well, reading this made me nervous. I'm turning 19 in six days and want to get married and start a family soon (within in a few years) but what if I'm like the OP and am still unmarried and childless at 30? (no offense to you OP) I have a feeling that things in life are going to start moving fast for me now. Being 18 went by really really fast, seems like it was just yesterday when I turned 18 last year. Before I know it, I'm going to be in my mid 30s...
Honestly, I just want to get married and have children already. If I were already with the right girl, had a decent job, a home, if the cost of living were lower and if I didn't have to go to college, I would have probably gotten married by now.
Welcome to reality.
There's a lot of "if's" in your post.
Why wish your life away? Work towards what you want, lay the groundwork and things will fall into place when they should.
If you start pushing just to have what you want, the chances for ending up in a divorce are greater.
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and you are not getting any better looking cause you're 30!!!
(no offense to you OP) I have a feeling that things in life are going to start moving fast for me now. Being 18 went by really really fast, seems like it was just yesterday when I turned 18 last year. Before I know it, I'm going to be in my mid 30s...
